


Make up your Mind

by thosewhowearplaid



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:30:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 73,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9479465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosewhowearplaid/pseuds/thosewhowearplaid
Summary: The team at the BAU are having their normal, everyday social problems. Problems with relationships, cases, families.But, Reid? Reid needs to make up his mind. He doesn't have long. Especially when an old friend comes back into contact.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I know this is completely different to what I've written before, and it probably seems like I've forgotten about my other pieces, but this is the only piece of work I had a plan for. I know how this ends, and I don't for the others.   
> So, it may take me some time to get back to my unfinished ones. But, anyway! I hope you enjoy this.

_“I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be in love with another man.”_

_“I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be in love with another man.”_

And for the third time the phrase, “I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be in love with another man,” rang in Reid’s mind. He wanted to watch the interrogation tapes just simply to watch the man squirm under Morgan’s stares and harsh words. But this, _this_ , wasn’t what Reid was expecting to hear at all. His finger hovered over the mouse, as the tape was on pause, he couldn’t bring himself to move away from the computer or even look away from Morgan’s face on the screen. It wasn’t until a loud cough from behind him interrupted his thoughts. He quickly spun around in the chair to face the doorway, and whoever stood there. He was confronted with a blonde haired woman, holding a cup of coffee and looking at him with a confused and surprised expression.

“I was gone for two hours, wonder boy. You haven’t moved.” Garcia spoke, moving slowly into the room.

Reid frowned confusedly and looked down to his watch, which rested over his shirt sleeve, 9:34 pm. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” He spluttered apologetically, as he raised himself off Garcia’s chair and away from her monitors. Garcia stared at the young agent, and then looked down to what he had been staring at for two hours.

 “Oh, there’s my hot stuff.” She said seductively, before ramming her mug of scorching coffee into Reid’s chest, before taking a seat and restarting the interrogation tape.

Reid looked around the room, not knowing what to do – he didn’t know if he should have stayed, apologised again for possibly overstaying his welcome, or put down the mug and slowly walk out of the room. But, his decision was soon made for him as Garcia pointed to the spare chair at the end of the desk, keeping her eyes glued to the screen as Morgan walked around the holding cell. “Sit.” She ordered. He placed the mug down on her coaster in front of her, grabbed the chair and sat down next to the woman. Reid knew he couldn’t watch the interrogation again, he knew he couldn’t hear Morgan say those words – but he did. He sat through it, the pain burning him from the inside as he sat with a straight face next to Garcia. Once the sentence was thrown out of the speakers, as if on cue, Garcia paused the tape, turned to face Reid, and shot him an apologetic look.

“What?” Reid asked, as he felt his cheeks burn with a tint of red.

“My poor genius.” Garcia said quietly, feeling very sorry for the young agent.

“I don’t know what you mean?” Reid shook his head, with wide eyes. Garcia sighed sadly, and placed a kiss on her two fingers before pressing them softly against Reid’s forehead. Reid smiled at the gesture and silently thanked her, as she pulled her hand back into her lap. He realised Garcia knew, and even though worry emerged through the agent; as he thought of how he had made it obvious enough for her to know, he was glad that he finally had someone to talk to. “Who else knows?” He asked quietly, looking down to his hands resting in his lap.

“Just me, I’ve always known” Garcia spoke softly.

“So, no one else knows?” Reid asked, as he felt a weight lift off his shoulders, looking up to his friend.

But soon enough, the weight was dumped right back onto him as a voice spoke and echoed into the room. “Knows what?” Reid and Garcia shot around to look at the man who stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his signature smirk.

“Get out,” Garcia ordered sternly, as she pointed to the door.

Morgan pushed himself off the frame and raised his arms as if he was surrendering. “Hey, baby girl. What did I do?” He asked quickly.

Garcia’s eyes stared deeply into his; telling Morgan that he hadn’t in fact done anything wrong, other than interrupt a very personal conversation. Morgan’s eyes then landed on the young agent, who sat uncomfortably in his seat, looking down to his fidgeting hands. He knew something was wrong, not with himself, not with Garcia – but with Reid. And that thought terrified him. “You okay, kid?” He asked quickly, entering the now cramped room.

“I’m fine, I’ve just got a headache,” Reid answered awkwardly, looking everywhere in the room but at Morgan.

“Hey,” Morgan whispered, moving his body in front of his friend, as he tried to force Reid’s attention onto him, “talk to me?”

Reid’s eyes flickered to Morgan’s, who was now kneeling down in front of him. He didn’t know what to do, or what to say – he knew that if he wasn’t careful, Morgan would profile him and figure everything out. And he didn’t want that, he couldn’t have that. So, he put on a smile and laughed a little. “I just needed someone to talk to after the case, and Garcia’s door was open.”

Morgan furrowed his eyebrows as he thought, and tried his hardest not to profile his younger friend. He tried his hardest to believe the obvious lie of a story, but he couldn’t. He knew that he couldn’t profile Reid, it was out of line and a total invasion of privacy. So, he didn’t. Well, not fully anyway. Morgan couldn’t help but realise someone close to the agent had hurt him. But, before he could work anything else out, Reid quickly stood up, nearly causing Morgan to fall. Morgan then also stood up with wide eyes to look at the younger man, “you okay?”

“I just want to go home,” Reid said quietly, once again avoiding Morgan’s eyes.

“Alright, man,” Morgan replied, giving his friend the space he wanted.

Reid nodded and kept his eyes on the ground as he took a step away from Morgan, before picking his bag up from the floor and saying goodbye to Garcia. Once Reid was out of the room, and out of hearing range, Morgan turned to face Garcia who had remained seated in her chair. “No.” She spoke sternly.

“What?” Morgan asked defensively, as he looked down to Garcia.

“No, I’m not going to tell you,” Garcia replied, turning in her chair to face her monitor.

Morgan sighed, before leaning down and resting his arm against the back of Garcia’s chair and his other against her desk. His eyes fell on the tape that was paused on her computer. “Is that from the last case?”

“Yup.” She murmured, trying to bite her tongue from saying anything. Derek scanned the screen for a few seconds before looking down to the desk to gather his thoughts. As if Garcia could hear the motor running in Derek’s mind, she _accidently_ spilled her coffee mug all over her dress – keeping the fluid as far as possible from the electrics. “Shoot!” She squealed. Derek shot up and helped Garcia to stand up, hoping it would prevent the coffee to burn his friend.

 “Let’s get this cleaned up, baby girl.” He said, as he took the mug from Garcia’s hands and placed it back onto her desk.

 Garcia softly slapped Derek’s cheek teasingly, “you have to marry me before you can touch, my vision.” Derek laughed and helped Garcia to the nearest bathroom, as she cleaned up the coffee which was already starting to stain her new dress.

* * *

 

Reid wallowed as he walked around his apartment, he didn’t know why the words Morgan spoke affected him so much. Well, of course he knew; but he wasn’t willing enough to say it out loud. He wasn’t confident enough to admit that he was in love with his best friend. His male best friend. Reid groaned loudly before slumping down onto his couch. He grabbed the blanket, that rested on the arm of the couch, and covered his body and allowed the warmth to consume him. Every bone in his body was aching, every cell inside of him was burning and even the thought of food made his stomach churn. He just wanted to sleep, he just wanted to forget. Reid wrapped the blanket tighter around him as he threw the thought of the dilaudid out of his mind, he was not willing to go down that road again – regardless of the proposition. So instead, he closed his eyes and allowed the pain ripping through his body to swallow him whole.

 

Reid couldn’t sleep, he turned and changed positions but he just couldn’t sleep. Once his eyes were fully open and were focused on the room he was in, he scoffed. “No wonder,” he murmured to himself, as he realised he was still on the couch. He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, he just wanted the pain to go away. The pain was something he had never felt before. Reid had been drugged, beaten and tortured, but nothing felt like the pain he was feeling at that point. It was coming from inside of him and it felt as if his insides were burning. His head and every bone in his body was aching and felt brittle enough that one loud noise would cause them to break. His throat and mouth was dry, and his eyes stung. His stomach churned as he remembered the words that left Derek’s mouth and stained his mind, his blood felt like sandpaper in his veins. His whole body felt weak and he couldn’t stand it. All Reid wanted to do was sleep and arrive at work early the next morning so everyone thought he was fine, so no suspicion was raised. Reid slowly removed the blanket that was tangled around him and stood up slowly, his whole body went numb and his head went dizzy. Tears were on the brim of exiting his eyes as he made his way to his bedroom, walking slowly through his dark apartment, he didn’t let them fall. His pride and ego were too much for him. He kicked off his shoes and removed his tie before falling, face first, onto his bed. Reid just wanted to sleep, he wanted the pain inside of him to disappear.

 

Reid was awoken by a loud ringing tone next to his ear. He subconsciously swatted at the noise with his hand, but the noise didn’t stop. He groaned loudly before turning around to his side to see where it was coming from. His eyes opened groggily and his mouth was dry, but he was able to see his phone buzzing on his pillow. Reid sighed before answering the call, without looking at the Caller ID. “Hello?” He asked with a weak voice.

“Spence?” JJ asked.

“JJ?” Reid replied, rubbing his eyes forcefully as he cleared his throat.

“Where are you?” She asked worriedly.

Reid sat up. “At home, why?”

“We’ve all been trying to call you. We have a case,” JJ replied.

Reid gasped before looking down to his watch on his wrist, he was late – very late. “I am so sorry. I’ll be there as soon as possible. I’m so, so sorry JJ; tell the rest I’ll be there soon, tell Hotch I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. Hotch isn’t mad,” she said calmly.

Reid let out a relieved sigh, quickly getting up off his bed and running to the bathroom, with the phone tightly held against his ear. JJ smiled to herself as she heard the commotion from the other side of the line, and Reid was about to end the call before a timid voice spoke. “Hey, Spence?” She asked.

“Yeah?” Reid replied.

“Are you okay?” JJ asked.

“I’m fine. I just had a really, really long night,” Reid answered, running his fingers through his hair stressfully. He knew he didn’t have enough time to shower, and he had slept in his clothes from the day before, so Reid knew he was going to be very grouchy and irritable that day until he had a shower and a big cup of coffee.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes then, Spence.” JJ spoke, before ending the call and once again joining the rest of the team.

 

JJ sat at the table, and all eyes were soon on her. “Is he coming?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, he just woke up late,” JJ said quietly, avoiding the eyes which were glued onto her.

“JJ?” Hotch asked.

“Did he seem off to any of you last night?” JJ asked, looking down to her mug of coffee on the table.

Morgan sat back in his chair, “you too?”

The team then all looked to Morgan, surprised at the revelation. They all knew Reid had a couple of problems, but they never disrupted his work or concentration. “Yeah. He was on his way out last night and, I don’t know, he just seemed off,” JJ said.

“He wouldn’t even look at me last night,” Morgan spoke quietly.

“I’m sure Reid is just having a bad couple of days. If he wants to talk about it, then we’re here. But we cannot let it distract us from this case, so please talk to him about it discreetly and do not force him to talk about what it is that is causing him so much distress,” Hotch said sternly. He was concerned over the youngest agent, but he knew the job was Reid’s life and he didn’t want to disrupt that or jeopardise his future at the BAU.

The team nodded in response and thought about how many egg shells they were going to have to avoid walking on for the next couple of days whilst they worked on their case. Just a few moments later, Reid stumbled in the room. His hair was all over the place, purple bags rested underneath his bloodshot eyes, and his clothes were slightly hanging off him. The team processed his appearance and couldn’t help but profile his behaviour. “I am so sorry,” Reid said to Hotch as he tried to catch his breath.

“It’s okay, Reid. Just don’t let it happen again,” he replied warningly.

“Thank you.” Reid whispered quietly, tucking his hair behind his ears as he breathed heavily. He avoided Morgan’s eyes and looked everywhere else other than at him and Garcia, who tried ever so hard to attract his attention.

“Long night, huh?” Rossi asked with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk.

Reid, unknowingly, answered, “very long.”

“I’m assuming you have a go-bag. We need to leave now; we’ll brief you on the jet.” Hotch said, standing up.

Reid nodded and walked out of the room to retrieve his go-bag, silently thanking God that he was able to get away from the burning stares for a minute or so. He had only been with his friends for 2 minutes and he already wanted to be back at home where he could be in pain in peace. Once he reached his desk, he rested his arms on the desk and leant forward, closing his eyes. His head was pounding and every noise and movement made it worse, so much worse.

“Kid, you okay?” Spoke a familiar voice.

Reid’s eyes shot open and he pushed himself off his desk, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine to me. How much sleep did you get?” Morgan asked, concern laced in his voice.

“Plenty,” Reid mumbled as he grabbed his go-bag and swung it over his aching shoulder. He winced in pain at the action and quickly regretted making the noise, as Morgan took a step towards his friend protectively.

“What happened?” Morgan asked quickly, “If you’re in pain, I’m sure Hotch will let you sit this one out.”

“I already said, I’m fine,” Reid muttered once again, trying his hardest to avoid Morgan’s gaze. Morgan looked intently at the man before him. He stood with a shaky demeanour, clearly avoiding all sorts of eye contact, playing with the strap of his messenger and go-bag as a clear form of distraction, and was trying his hardest to finish the conversation that was taking place between them. “We need to leave,” Reid said plainly, turning away from his desk and Morgan, before quickly walking away towards the elevator.

But before Morgan could chase after his friend, a strong pull held him back. Morgan looked to his right and saw Hotch’s hand on his shoulder, as he stared after the youngest agent. “He needs space.”

Morgan sighed and changed his posture as he heard the elevator doors close. “I just want him to be okay.”

“We all do,” Hotch said, with a strange tinge in his voice that Morgan couldn’t _or_ didn’t recognise.

Hotch knew, of course he knew. He had known for a while but he never felt it was right to voice his conclusion to the rest of the team, it wasn’t their business; it wasn’t his business, though it was in a sort of sense – but we’ll get to that later. Hotch couldn’t help but see it, see the longing and worried stares, the careful touches and protectiveness. He also couldn’t help but notice that Reid thought it was one-sided, but then again, Morgan never gave him any help to prove otherwise. Especially with the _stupid_ comment he had made during the interrogation, Hotch thought. He grimaced at the thought of Reid’s face when he heard what Morgan had said, he had never wanted to see Reid like that – to see him so broken. And when Reid rushed out of the building after watching the interrogation and bumped into Hotch, that was all he saw; and that was when he realised how deep and meaningful the feelings were. He would do anything to never see him look so broken again, regardless of the consequences and what position it put him in. “Reid was right; we need to leave,” Hotch said once he dragged himself out of his thoughts.

Morgan nodded and they both made their way towards the elevator, loudly asking JJ to hold the elevator door before all piling in. It was the whole group, excluding Reid, and they all silently knew it was going to be a very long and hard case. But they all knew that it was his business and regardless of him being their friend, it was only up to him to talk about what was happening in his personal life.

 

“A woman’s body was found off the highway in Texas, she was 27 years old and was a mother to 2 boys.” Hotch began, handing Reid his case file, “multiple stab wounds on her chest and abdomen.”

Reid examined the pictures of the dead woman very closely. Reid sat on the couch, as everyone else sat around the table and the remaining seats nearest to them. “Why are we being called in?” Reid asked quietly, keeping his eyes firmly on the pictures before him.

“It’s the third body this week,” Hotch replied. Reid looked up to where Hotch sat and saw he was sitting opposite him, “all brunette women, mid-late 20’s.”

“Classic overkill – he might have been trying to seek power, dominance. Were the women all married and mothers?” Reid asked.

Hotch nodded once, before turning to the rest of the group who were quietly reading the case file. “JJ, I need you and Prentiss to speak to the Sherriff and the families of the victims as soon as we land, he’s expecting you both. Dave and Morgan, head to the most recent crime scene. And me and Reid will go to the medical examiner.”

The group nodded and smiled at their assigned partners, before the turbulence grabbed their attention. They sat back in their seats and tried to remain as still as they could, but it didn’t stop. The flight became very bumpy and uncomfortable as the group tried to remain calm. Reid looked around at his friends, and noticed a very worried looking Rossi. He grabbed onto the arm of his seat and closed his eyes, however Reid wasn’t the only one who noticed. “I never knew you were a bad flyer, Rossi,” Morgan stated with a smirk.

Rossi looked up to the eyes examining him, “I hate turbulence.”

Morgan scoffed and the turbulence once again shook the jet, and it was Emily’s turn to hold onto the arm of her seat, well that’s what she thought anyway. “Oh, really. You, too?” Morgan asked, turning to look at the woman sitting next to him.

“You can’t say you enjoy it?” She scoffed.

“No, but I’m not the one who’s holding my arm instead of the seat.” Morgan chuckled, looking down to Emily’s hand holding his arm, very tightly.

Emily looked down and snapped her hand away, “shut up.”

The team chuckled at the behaviour of the woman – excluding Reid. He cleared his throat and turned in his seat, facing away from the rest of the group, and stared blankly at the case file in front of him. However, because he was too busy trying to look as if he was reading the case, he missed Hotch’s numerous stares and glances at him. And because of that, Hotch missed the numerous times Morgan looked at _him_ staring at Reid. Though, there was someone who noticed everything: Rossi. 

* * *

 

“Are you going to tell me about what happened on the jet, or are you going to deny it and say I misunderstood?” Rossi asked Morgan, as they crouched down to the floor to inspect the disposal site.

“What do you mean?” Morgan replied, not taking his eyes off the imprint on the ground where the woman’s body was dumped. Lauren Kelly was the most recent victim; her life was a normal one – a good one. She had been married for 3 years and had 2 sons, a 3 and 4-year-old. A reasonable job, a well-respected woman in her community, someone who wasn’t hated.

“I think you know what I mean.” Rossi stated, standing up and looking at the crime scene pictures of the woman. There were no clear signs of remorse considering the way her body had just been dumped on the side of the road, she wasn’t wrapped in anything and the way she had been left gave the impression that the unsub was in a rush.

Morgan sighed and removed his sunglasses, also standing up. “Aren’t you usually paired up with Reid?”

Rossi looked at his friend, “I’m sure Hotch wouldn’t mind if you wanted to work with Reid. Besides, if you have any questions about Hotch’s actions, maybe you should ask Hotch.”

“No,” Morgan sighed. “I just think he’s acting weird when it comes to Reid.”

“Aren’t we all?” Rossi answered.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Well, as Reid is the youngest of the team, we all feel a certain need to protect him. Hotch is just worried about his friend, and I’m sure he has no ulterior motive behind it.” Rossi spoke thoughtfully, looking up from the pictures and towards Morgan. Rossi knew deep down that there may have been _something_ Hotch and Reid, but he didn’t think it was his place to state it.

Morgan stared at the man in front of him. “You think it, too?”

“It isn’t my place,” Rossi stated, going back to the photo’s in his hands.

Morgan chuckled. “So, what do you think about the dumping of the body?” 

* * *

 

 Reid paced around the body. He could tell something was _off_ about the victim, he didn’t know why but there was something.

“Reid?” Hotch asked, sensing the Doctors mind coming to a halt.

“There’s something strange about her,” Reid answered, standing at the right side of the body and opposite Hotch.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“She was stabbed 19 times to the chest and 3 times to the abdomen by someone who knew what they were doing. The stabs were slow. She had been sexually assaulted and disposed of 16 miles away from the abduction site. A definite overkill, but she had only been missing for 5 hours. How could the unsub abduct her in broad daylight, kill her and then dispose of the body in only 5 hours?” Reid rambled, not taking his eyes away from Lauren’s body. Reid’s mind was slow, unfocused – but he pushed everything aside and all the strength in his body and willpower went to the case.

Hotch could tell Reid was distracted and he wanted to help him, to take his mind off it but they were on a case. He was his boss, after all, he couldn’t be unprofessional. “A second unsub?”

Reid looked up to his boss and stared at him. He didn’t mean to stare; it was just his way of gathering his thoughts. “One to abduct and dispose of the body, and another to kill.”

Hotch stared at the man who stood directly in front of him, he watched as his eyes fell onto the body that separated the two, he watched as Reid’s mind spun into overdrive, he watched as his friend’s cheeks burned with a slight tint of red. “You okay, Reid?” Hotch asked, questioning his nervousness, with a slight smirk across his lips.

“I’m fine,” Reid replied quickly before leaning closer to the body of the deceased woman. With his gloves, he pushed the woman’s head slightly to the side facing Hotch. He leaned closer than before and looked at the back of the woman’s neck and hair line, there was a slight puncture wound. “Hey, look at this.”

Hotch walked over to Reid’s side and stepped closely towards him and into his proximity. Reid sucked in a breath at the unusual closeness of their bodies during work, and tried to concentrate on the victim. Hotch felt something inside him twitch at the response Reid gave off, but he straightened his lips and looked down to the woman’s punctured neck. “She was drugged,” he stated.

“But with something that can’t be traced back in a TOX report, we should call Garcia,” Reid mumbled.

“Let’s get back and tell the others.” Hotch said. Reid nodded and they both left the room, leaving the medical examiner to do his job.

 Hotch was worried about Reid, very worried. And the more he thought about it, the angrier he became at Morgan. He knew it wasn’t his place to have any feelings or views regarding the situation, during work, but he couldn’t help it. He hated seeing Reid so distracted and in pain.

 

Once everyone had regrouped at the station, they told each other what each group had found out and their knowledge of the case had then doubled. They were searching for a team of 2 male unsubs. One fairly older, being the dominant and the other being quite younger and easily coerced into participating whatever the older male wanted.  The older unsub, they profiled, had narcistic psychopathic traits, and merely enjoyed killing the women – and raping them, whilst the younger male collected the women and watched. The older unsub had experienced medical training and was familiar with muscle paralysing drugs that would not show in a TOX screen. The younger unsub was confident, easy-going, street smart. He had to have been if he wanted to pick the women up off the streets without raising suspicion.

 

Reid stood in the middle of the crowded street, trying to figure out how the unsub had so easily convinced the women to go with him. He turned to face Hotch, Morgan and Emily, who were staring at him intently, “how did he abduct these 3 women without attracting attention to himself?” He asked slowly, as his eyes fell onto a very attractive couple. Two passers-by, it easily would have looked like Reid was interested in the woman of the couple, though his eyes were very easily glued onto the male.

“Well, standing in the middle gawking at passing women will certainly attract attention. Like you’re doing now,” Hotch said mockingly, with a hint of jealousy tinged in his voice – though, Reid didn’t suspect it, the other two did.

“What’s that?” Reid answered quickly, forcing his attention and eyesight back onto the 3 people in front of him.

“And just like that,” Emily snaps her fingers, “an IQ of 187 is slashed to 60.”

Morgan scoffed at his friends and looked down to the floor. He didn’t know what it was, but seeing the way Reid looked at the passers-by made him feel something, something that angered him. And once he heard the jealousy in Hotch’s voice, the feeling grew. “Maybe he asked for help?” He muttered, trying to bring the attention back to the case.

“What, like he was lost?” Emily answered.

“Yeah. It would explain why 3 _married_ women would follow someone seemingly younger than them,” Morgan replied.

“So, unsub number two isn’t just younger than the older unsub, he’s a lot younger. A teenager, perhaps?” Reid spoke, avoiding eye contact with all members of the group as his mind fogged, his hands shook as he rubbed his wrists nervously. He shook his head, trying to clear it but it didn’t work. He squinted his eyes and shook his head once more, but it didn’t remove the _buzzing_ ringing throughout his head; the pain was surging violently through his body.

“Seems likely,” Hotch replied slowly, looking at Reid with furrowed eyebrows, concerned, turning his whole body to face him as he did so.

All 3 pairs of eyes were glued onto the youngest agent, he had become very pale and his breathing had shortened. “Kid, you okay?” Morgan asked. But the words echoed around Reid’s mind, his head was spinning and he felt as if something had fell into his stomach. Reid was looking down to the ground painfully as he rubbed his temples, his legs and the rest of his body shook.

“Reid?” Emily asked, dragging his name out. But, her words also echoed around Reid’s mind. He took a step back, stumbling as he did so.

“I need to go,” Reid mumbled distractedly, rubbing his eyes as he took another small step backwards.

“Spencer, wait, you’re in no fit state to be walking,” Hotch spoke, gaining looks from Emily and Morgan as he used Reid’s first name, “Spencer, we’re taking you back to the station.” He took a step carefully towards the boy. Reid stopped rubbing his eyes and used his hands to shield himself from the bright sunrays, as he looked at Hotch. Once he realised Hotch had used his first name, during work, he stared at Hotch with confusion written all over his face, and all could see it. “Come on,” Hotch said softly, as he took another step towards Reid and placed his hand on his back, pushing him softly.

Reid caught Prentiss’ eyes as he walked, with Hotch’s hand still pressed firmly against him, and her mouth was slightly ajar with shock and confusion. Though, Reid’s head was too fuzzy and dizzy for him to concentrate on what was going on around him.

Prentiss and Morgan followed closely behind the 2 men as they walked carefully to the SUV. Morgan’s eyes were glued on Hotch’s hand as it was pressed against Reid, he didn’t know what was wrong with him but there was definitely something – he had never felt so irritated over Hotch and Reid before. Prentiss wasn’t irritated, but she was definitely confused and was definitely ready to talk to JJ. She looked quickly at Morgan and saw anger written on his face, and more confusion arose in Prentiss. “What the hell,” she muttered under her breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of uploading this chapter next week, but I didn't want to forget as I'm going to have my exams next week. So, I might as well upload this while I still can. 
> 
> I've only just released the first chapter, and I've already gotten more views than expected. So, thank you!

The team were exhausted and needed some rest. They had hit a dead end in the case and needed fresh eyes to review the case once again, so Hotch declared that they were all to go to the hotel and go to the restaurant down the road, before heading up to sleep. They took two SUV’s to the hotel; Reid, Morgan and Hotch in one and JJ, Rossi and Prentiss in the other. The first car was unsurprisingly very quiet and no one spoke a word, but the second car was very talkative.

“So, what the hell is going on?” Emily asked, as she sat in the passenger seat.

“What do you mean?” Rossi asked, concentrating on the road ahead of him as he drove. 

“Come on, you can’t tell me you haven't noticed?” Emily chuckled sarcastically.

“What, Spence, Hotch and Morgan?” JJ asked from the back.

“Yes!” Emily exclaimed happily.

“Here I was, thinking you two weren’t gossips. As far as I’m aware, nothing is going on between them,” Rossi answered.

“Come on, Rossi. Everyone tells you everything, you must know something,” Emily begged.

JJ sat up in her seat and leaned forward, waiting excitedly for what news the man knew. 

Rossi sighed and looked quickly at the two women. “You didn’t hear it from me.”

“Yes, sir,” Emily answered.

“It seems that Morgan is a bit jealous with how close Reid and Aaron are, and how much time they’re spending together,” Rossi said quickly.

“So…what do you think?” JJ replied.

“ _I think_ there’s going to be a fight over a particular agent’s heart sometime soon,” Rossi said plainly, as he pulled up in the parking lot.

JJ and Emily both stared at the man as he unbuckled his seat-belt. Rossi turned to face the two women before getting out, “remember, you heard nothing.”

The women both nodded quickly before getting out of the car. But, they both rushed over to Rossi, both with the same question in mind. “Does Reid know?” They asked in sync.

Rossi knew the question was coming, but he was surprised with how loudly they both asked it. And unfortunately, he wasn’t the only who heard it. “No,” he whispered to the two women.

But they were soon interrupted by the other 3 agents as they approached them. “Do I know what?” Reid asked.

JJ and Emily froze and stared at Rossi, but he was looking at the 3 men standing behind them. Their hearts stopped in their tracks. But, luckily for them, Rossi was a master of deception. “It’s a surprise.”

The women turned around to face the 3 men and nodded, “sorry, Spence. Don’t want to ruin the surprise,” JJ said with a relieved smile.

But before Reid could reply, his phone rang in his pocket. “Sorry, excuse me,” he muttered to the group before pulling it out.

The team’s eyes were all on him as he answered the call. “This is Reid,” he answered.

They all heard the voice boom through the speakers with an excited screech, “Garcia, we’re back at the hotel now. You should get some rest,” Reid spoke, knowing all eyes were on him.

“I know; this is about what we were speaking about the other day. You know, about…” She began, before Reid interrupted her.

“Oh, yeah. That’s not necessary. If we talk about it, it’ll just make it worse,” Reid said quickly as he walked away from the group. He couldn't have his team, his friends, hear what they were talking about. It would only leave them with more questions than answers. 

 “Wonder boy, don’t close in on yourself,” Garcia muttered sadly.

“I’ll talk in the morning. Goodnight, Garcia,” Reid replied, just as sadly.

“Goodnight,” she sighed, before ending the call.

Reid stuffed his phone back into his pocket, before running his hand through his hair with a sigh, still with his back facing the rest of the group. He could feel their stares burning a whole into his skull, he hated the attention. So, he turned around and mastered the fakest smile he could, walking back to the group.

“Everything ok, kid?” Morgan asked, watching the agent with furrowed eyebrows and a tight-lipped smile. 

“Fine,” Reid said, avoiding eye contact with his friends.

“Reid,” Morgan began, placing a hand on the youngest agent’s shoulder, “you know you can always talk to us about anything.”

Reid jumped at the sudden contact from the man. The hand felt warm against his shoulder, and he wanted nothing more than to feel more of Morgan pressed up against him, he wanted so badly just to lean into the touch, but he couldn’t – he didn’t want to get hurt again. “I’m fine, Morgan, honestly,” He replied painfully, “I’m going to pick something up from my room. I’ll meet you guys at the restaurant.” Reid looked down to the ground, before walking away from his friends, away from Morgan’s hand.

Morgan looked after Reid as he walked away, with his hand still hovering before he balled it into a fist and pushed it down to his side. He closed his eyes and sighed. He knew he had done something wrong, but he couldn’t just figure out what it was. Yes, when Reid was upset he pushed everyone away and turned cold, but he was never like this; not to Morgan, and that’s how he knew he was the reason for Reid’s suffering and pain. He just wanted to sort it out, to help his friend. He thought for another minute or so before he turned and faced the group, and their eyes were already glued onto him. “Someone tell me what I’ve done to the kid, because I know I have, so if anyone knows, I’m begging you to tell me?” he pleaded, with a sad look. The group all averted their eyes, as they didn’t know the answer – all but one. Hotch stared at Morgan with cold eyes, and Morgan stared right back. “Hotch, man, tell me.”

“It isn’t my place, Morgan. If Reid wants to tell you, then he will. But I am not doing it for him.” Hotch replied plainly, staring at the darker man in front of him.

That was it. Morgan lost his patience, Hotch had been getting on his nerves all day by cooing after Reid, after looking at him like he was the only thing in the world. Morgan tensed his jaw, “or maybe you won’t tell me because you want him all to yourself?”

There was a sudden silence surrounding the group. Every sound became silent. The curling and bending wind flew past them, as they muted the sounds of the cars speeding past them – past the hotel. They knew they had to leave, they had to leave before Reid came back.  Hotch stared at the man in front of him with an icy glare, “Morgan, I suggest you change your tone.” he growled.

“What, it’s true, isn’t it? I’ve seen it, Hotch. We’ve all seen it. The way you look at him, the way you chase after him. You have feelings for Reid, and you know it,” Morgan threw back, his blood boiled but he didn’t back down. His heart was slamming against his chest, palpitations screaming in his body. Morgan knew what he wanted to say, he knew what words he wanted to drip out of his mouth and onto the pavement in front of Hotch. Though he knew if he did, he could never take them back.

Hotch tensed his jaw angrily. “Even if I did, I’m not the one who hurt him.”

“What did I do?” Morgan spat, loudly.

Hotch was about to say something, before he heard the hotel entrance door slam shut. They all turned back to face where the loud noise came from, and their eyes widened at the sight. It was Reid. He didn’t see them standing where he left them as he was distracted by his phone tightly pressed against his ear. Morgan turned around fully to see what Reid was doing, and they all listened to his conversation.

“I can be there in 2 minutes, if I can actually find a cab.” Reid muttered, looking down the road for a cab. Due to only hearing Reid, they couldn’t make out who the person on the other side of the line was. “I don’t know. I just need someone to talk to, I’ve had a really long couple of days,” Reid muttered, before looking down to his feet. “I can’t stay for long, we’re working a case and we’re hitting a bunch of dead ends.” But then the group noticed something - he had a half empty bottle of vodka in his free hand and his words were slightly slurred; he took a big gulp of the strong liquid.

“Should we do something?” Emily whispered.

“Who’s he talking to?” JJ asked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, I’m having one now and that’ll be it for the night, I think,” Reid chuckled.

What Reid had said caused Morgan’s stomach to churn – Hotch’s, too. “Who the hell is he talking to?” Morgan growled.

“Ah, here’s a cab,” Reid said with a smile, as he flagged the cab down, “I’ll be there in 2,” But before Reid got into the cab, he looked across the road from where he stood and saw his team staring back at him with weird faces and wide eyes. Reid froze and knew for a fact they heard his conversation, his part, anyway. He stared at his friends for a few seconds before he heard the cab driver clear his throat. “You coming, kid?” He asked. Reid’s eyes shot to the driver before he stood back up, straightening his back and closing the door shut. “Suit yourself,” the driver said grouchily, before driving away.

Reid stared at his friends across the road and got his phone back out of his pocket, he dialled the number and then held the phone to his ear, still looking at his team. He waited for the call to be answered and then sighed. “Hey, we’re gonna have to take a rain check.”

“Got some stalkers on your back, huh?” The voice replied.

“Yup,” Reid replied plainly.

“When can you meet me?” They asked.

Reid laughed dryly, “soon.”

They team’s eyes remained glued onto Reid, as he did with them.

“I miss you, Spencer,” the voice spoke.

Reid furrowed his eyebrows and looked away from his friends. “I know; we’ve not seen each other in years.”

“Goodbye, Spencer. I love you,” the voice said before ending the call abruptly.

Reid froze and he pulled his phone away from him as if it was a bomb, carefully and slowly. He looked down at it in disgust, before throwing his phone on the floor in anger. “Son of a bitch!” He shouted angrily. His phone shattered into a hundred pieces as soon as it hit the floor, Reid was pleasantly surprised at his own strength for a second or two, but his anger soon returned.

“Reid!” The group shouted from across the road. But they couldn’t cross, there were too many cars. The cars were flooding the road, blocking every move the team could make. Buses, cabs, motorbikes, big cars, small cars. The roads were cramped, flooded as the team stood, waiting and trying to get past the traffic to help their friend. They watched with worried eyes as Reid swore again, before flagging down the next cab. “Reid, wait!” The team shouted, as they ran across the road, stopping the cars.

“Drive!” Reid shouted angrily to the driver, as he slammed the door shut.

The cab sped off just as the team reached the car. “Spence!” JJ shouted after the cab.

Morgan kicked the floor in anger as they watched the car drive off. “What the hell?” He shouted.

Hotch walked over to where Reid threw his phone and huffed at the damage. There was no way anyone could retrieve anything from it, not even Garcia. “Right, we all need to get some rest,” Hotch mumbled.

“What?” Morgan asked angrily, turning around to face Hotch. “You want us to rest? Did you see the state Reid was in?”

“Yes, I did. But Reid is a grown man, he can take care of himself,” Hotch said defensively.

“Hotch, I agree with Morgan. We can’t just leave him like that,” JJ said quietly, afraid for her friend.

“If that was one of us, Reid wouldn’t sleep until he knew we were okay – he wouldn’t leave us in a town we hardly knew anything about. Regardless of what just happened between us, you know we can both agree on wanting to see Reid safe,” Morgan spoke to Hotch. Morgan knew Hotch only wanted Reid to have the space he wanted to clear his head but no one in that right state of mind should be alone, not even Spencer Reid.

Hotch stared at Morgan for a moment and then nodded, he was right. Hotch knew what Reid was like on his bad days, but this was worse, so much worse. This wasn’t just a bad day for Reid, this was him heartbroken, Hotch sighed, “this isn’t Reid the way we’ve seen him before. The way he’s feeling, it’s new to him. He’s in a lot of pain, he’s confused, he’s scared. Reid isn’t just alone in a town he’s unfamiliar with, with alcohol – this is Reid alone in an unfamiliar town, heartbroken.”

The team discussed what they were to do, where they thought Reid would go, and who he was talking to on the phone. But then at that moment, the cab Reid was in pulled up outside the hotel, a few feet from where the team were standing. Reid got out of the car, but he wasn’t alone. He pulled someone out with him, but their head and face were covered by Reid’s coat. He quickly paid the driver before leading the mystery person up to the door of the hotel, ignoring his friends as they shouted questions and stared at him. Once he and his _friend_ were in the lobby, the team saw him hand the guest his room card and shown his friend the elevator, before watching as the elevator doors closed. Reid turned with a sigh, and walked back out to his team.

They all stared at him with deep confusion and worry. “What the hell?” Emily said loudly, once Reid was outside.

“I need some privacy tonight. No one bother me,” Reid replied coldly, with a frown and furrowed eyebrows. He stood on the steps of the hotel’s entrance, before quickly turning back away from his friends and walked to the door.

“Like hell,” Morgan growled, Reid quickly turned back around to face his friends, Reid’s hard gaze fell onto Morgan and his breath got caught in his throat. “What the hell happened, man?” Morgan asked sadly.

Reid dragged his eyes away and they landed on Hotch, as he walked slowly up to the shaking man. “Spencer, what’s going on?” He asked softly, joining Reid on the steps.

Morgan growled inwardly at the action, and everyone knew it, all but Reid.

“I’m fine, Hotch,” Reid lied, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Who was that?” Hotch said, gesturing his head towards the hotel, he softly but sternly guided Reid down the steps.

“A friend,” he replied quietly, allowing Hotch to walk him down the steps and away from the door to the hotel.

“The friend you broke your phone over?” Hotch asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"It wasn't my work phone," Reid closed his eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go.”

Reid started to walk away, but was pulled back as Hotch pulled his arm. “Spencer, stop.”

The younger agent quickly turned to face the older man and stared at him, shaking his head quickly, “Aaron, don’t. Please. Not here,” he whispered sadly, looking back at Rossi, Emily, JJ and Morgan.

“Yes, Spencer, here. Unless you want me to call security and get that person escorted from the building,” he replied sternly with a poker face, like usual.

Reid sighed, and looked at all his friends, they all needed answers. Some answers he didn’t even know yet. Hotch removed his hand and stood back with the rest of his team. “He’s an old college friend.”

“College friend? I thought they were like 100 years older than you,” Emily said with a confused look.

“He was like me. We enrolled in the same classes, same part-time jobs, we did everything together. But then one day, he just left. He decided to pack up and move to Texas. I hadn’t heard anything from him since then, until 2 days ago, he saw me on the news and called. Tonight, I had a bit to drink and when he called, I answered. But then, he told me he loved me,” Reid looked down to the floor once he spoke the last sentence, missing the sadness in Hotch’s and Morgan’s eyes. “That’s when I threw my phone, like some child, ha. I got a cab and picked him up. I need to talk to him, to tell him things.”

“What things, Reid?” Rossi asked softly, telling him that whatever Reid needed to say, he could say it.

Reid looked at Rossi and his eyes softened, “that I don’t feel the same.”

“Why did you hide him from us, Spence?” JJ asked with a sad smile.

“I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s not easy telling people about someone you were once involved with,” he muttered quietly.

“Wait,” Emily jumped in, as the team all stared wide eyed at Reid. “You were involved with this guy?”

“I thought I said that?” Reid said confused, his eyes beaming innocence.

Rossi shook his head with a smirk, “nope.”

“Oh,” Reid muttered, looking down to the floor as his cheeks reddened. “But yes, we were involved and if you don’t mind, I should be getting back to him.”

Reid then looked up to his friends, but his eyes first fell on Morgan. There was something in his eyes and written on his face, Reid thought he looked…hurt? But then his attention was brought to Hotch once again, as he took a step towards the younger agent. “Please, don’t.” He whispered.

Reid looked at Hotch, and there was evident pain and worry in his eyes. He looked broken, but Reid couldn’t tell why he didn’t trust him. “Aaron, don’t do this here, please?” He whispered.

“Please, don’t go to him,” he pleaded, tears were forming in Hotch’s eyes.

Reid looked amongst his group of friends for help, but all were staring at Hotch. Rossi’s breath got stuck in his throat, “Aaron, don’t.”

“Aaron, listen to him. Stop. Please?” Reid begged, his eyes widening. He couldn't let Hotch continue, not in front of his team. Regardless of what Hotch was thinking at that moment of time, Reid knew Hotch would regret it in the morning. 

“Spencer?” Said a quiet voice, coming from the door.

Everyone turned and saw a tall man standing in the doorway of the hotel, holding Reid’s coat. He had olive skin, and green eyes. His hair was dyed black and he wore a plain black V-neck top with black jeans and combat boots. “Jack, I told you stay in my room,” Reid sighed.

“I know, but I wanted to see what was taking you so long – and now I have,” Jack smiled.

Reid closed his eyes, and heard Jack walk to where he stood. His eyes jerked open once he felt a hand on his shoulder and he jumped away from the cold touch. “You okay?” Jack asked, worry laced in his voice. Hotch glared at Jack, and took another step towards Reid.

“Yeah, I just don’t like it when people touch me, I have a germ thing,” Reid grumbled, avoiding eye contact with Jack. 

Morgan snorted and looked down to the ground, he remembered all the times Reid had let him touch him, not sexually but at the same intimately. He let him rub his back, or stroke his face, or play with his hair. But he hated the idea of Jack touching him, and that amused Morgan.

“Right, this is SSAs Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan,” Reid mumbled as he pointed to the assigned agents.

Jack stared at Morgan when Reid pointed at him, he then slowly looked back to Reid and smirked. Everyone including Reid cocked their eyebrow at Jack’s obvious interest in the man. Though, all attention was then averted as Emily spoke, “I’ll take him off your hands, Reid,” she purred, taking a step towards the two men, who stood in front of everyone.

“Emily,” Jack said with a smile, taking her hand, raising it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand, not once removing his eyes from hers. Emily smiled proudly, as the group all scoffed. Though, Hotch didn’t drop his hard glare from the man.

“But,” Jack began and dropped the woman’s hand, gaining worried looks from everyone, “I am already called for.”

Rossi then took a step forwards and placed a hand on the stranger’s shoulder. “I think you and Reid need a nice, long talk.”

Jack stared at the older man with a hard glare, before turning to look at Reid. “Spencer?”

“Let’s walk over here,” he replied quietly, putting a shaky hand on Jack’s back and turning him to face the road.

He walked them over the road and stopped walking once they were in the parking lot. They were far enough that the rest of the team couldn’t listen, but they could hear if one were to raise their voice. And so, they listened as carefully and quietly as possible. But the conversation looked reasonably calm, and Reid was looking down to his feet as he shifted his weight onto each foot. Jack was talking over him and was looking down to him, as if he was taller than him – but, Reid was initially taller. Reid was taller and even though he was _very_ thin, he was more built than Jack. “What do you think they’re saying?” JJ asked quietly.

“I don’t know, but look. He’s freezing,” Morgan said with a nod, as Reid wrapped his arms around himself.

“He should give him his coat back, at least,” Emily said, as she looked at Jack still holding Reid’s coat.

Morgan scoffed, “should I say something?”

“No. Let them talk,” Rossi said softly.

They all stared with eager eyes at the two men across the road. They thought that they were having a calm and mature conversation, but they then heard Jack raise his voice, very angrily. “At least I’m not the one who’s in love with someone they work with!” He shouted, pointing at the group.

“What the hell did he just s…” Morgan began quietly, as the group held their breaths. But that was when they saw it. They saw Reid change completely. He looked up slowly at the man and his whole body changed, he stood up straight, stretching his back as he towered over the man. Reid looked down to Jack and he stopped shaking, he became perfectly still.

“You have no right to mention that,” Reid growled.

“Calm down, _Agent,_ ” Jack purred angrily, spitting out the last word.

“Oh, shit,” Emily muttered, knowing how much it was going to anger Reid.

“I am calm, and it’s _Doctor_ ,” Reid said very loudly taking a step towards the cowering man.

“There it is,” JJ said.

Hotch didn’t move, he hadn’t moved since he heard what Jack shouted. He didn’t even know if he had breathed since then. He knew Reid had feelings for Morgan, but he didn’t know he was in love with the man. He felt his stomach churn and his throat burned with bile. God, he felt as if everything inside of him on fire. He felt as if everything inside him was breaking – and he wanted it to stop. He wanted everything to stop, “I’m going to be sick.”

“What?” Rossi said alarmingly, looking back to Hotch.

Hotch quickly ran to edge of the road behind a car, before leaning down and threw up. “Hotch?” The group asked, “you okay?”

Hotch felt a warm hand rubbing small, comforting circles on his back. His throat burned even more and tears were on the verge of escaping his eyes. He crouched there for another minute, with his hands resting on his thighs, looking down to the ground. Once he was sure he wasn’t going to throw up again, Hotch slowly stood up straight, wiping his mouth. He turned and JJ’s hand dropped from Hotch’s back, and the team stared at him. “You okay, Aaron?” Rossi asked.

“I’m fine. I think I’m coming down with the flu,” Hotch lied.

Everyone nodded slowly, not completely sure if they believed him. But, Morgan didn’t. He didn’t believe it because he felt the exact damn same. Their eyes fell on each other and they both nodded knowingly.

Their attention was then brought back to Reid; he was still arguing loudly with Jack. They had missed quite a bit out due to Hotch throwing up so they couldn’t make sense of the conversation. But then, Reid looked to the road, whistled and flagged down a cab. Once it parked next to Reid, he opened the door and pushed Jack to the door, once Jack tried to push back, Reid pushed his head down and plonked him into the cab. He closed the door and walked to the driver’s window and muttered where to drop him off. Reid stood back once the driver nodded, and then watched the car speed away. He took a couple of steps back and ran his hand through his hair stressfully. He wanted to go home, he wanted to be back in his own bed. He took a couple of deep breaths and then walked over the road. Once he approached the group, JJ asked where Reid had told the driver to take Jack.

“The airport,” he shrugged.

“What?” Emily asked.

“He needs to get as far away as possible from me,” he growled. The group stifled their laughter, but Reid didn’t have it in him to care anymore. He faked a yawn and looked to the floor, “I am really, really tired. And I have a headache.” The team looked at the younger agent with raised eyebrows and unbelieving eyes. Reid knew they didn’t believe him, but he was too stressed out. He was too embarrassed. “I’m gonna head up to my room. Goodnight, guys,” he muttered quietly.

“We’ll walk up with you,” Rossi said with a nod to the rest of the team. None of the team were willing to go to the restaurant now, they were too tired, too stressed, too confused.

“Yeah,” they all muttered.

Reid sighed before walking into the hotel, with his team following closely behind him. He knew what they were doing, they wanted answers, again. But this time he wasn’t going to answer them; he wasn’t going to tell them anything. Reid stopped outside the elevator and watched as Hotch leaned forward with a shaky hand and pressed the button. No one spoke, they all held their breath as they nervously waited. Reid tapped his foot against the floor impatiently, anger still bubbling in his blood. Reid’s hand was shaking as he felt the urge to throw it angrily against the wall, but then the elevator beeped and the doors opened. He sighed in relief, before they all piled in. All 6 of them, piled into a small box. Reid stood at the front as he was the most desperate to get out, and the rest all stared at the back of his neck, and he knew it but decided to ignore it and pressed their hotel floor number.

“Reid?” Rossi eventually asked.

Reid hummed in reply, closing his eyes.

“You’re not in love with me, are you?” He asked with a straight face.

Emily choked on her saliva in surprise and JJ stared with wide eyes at Rossi, while the remaining two men looked down with a forced straight face. Reid blinked repeatedly before turning slowly to face Rossi who stood directly behind him. “What?” He asked with a quiet voice.

“Careful, man, I’m pretty sure this elevator hasn’t moved yet,” Morgan whispered as he leant closely towards Rossi.

“Wait, what?” JJ asked loudly.

“The elevator hasn’t moved,” Hotch answered with a plain voice and straight face.

Reid then turned quickly back around and pressed the button again. But they still didn’t move, “damn,” he whispered.

“Here,” Morgan said, before pushing to the front.

“Hey, no!” Reid warned, jumping in front of the buttons so Morgan couldn’t touch them.

“What the hell?” Morgan asked, throwing his outstretched hand back in shock, staring at Reid with confused eyes.

“Remember last time? You nearly killed us!” Reid threw back pointedly, his eyes glaring at the man in front of him. He was not letting him touch those buttons.

“No, I didn’t, you’re exaggerating,” Morgan said, before turning around to face the team, “he’s exaggerating.”

“Of course he is,” Emily muttered, her cheeks reddening in anxiousness.

“I am not exaggerating. You’re going to have to kill me if you want to touch these buttons. There are 6 elevator related deaths per year, not to mention 10,000 injuries that require hospilisation,” Reid warned, glaring fearfully yet sternly at the back of Morgan's head.

Morgan turned back around to face Reid, “I know Reid, you’ve told me already.” But with a smirk on his face he sighed, “fine. You do it, then, pretty boy.”

Reid stared at him with a challenging glare, “fine, get back.” Morgan raised his hands in a surrendering motion, and took a step back. Rossi tapping his back as he stood next to him. Reid slowly turned around and looked at the buttons in front of him. He saw the emergency button and pushed it. It made a loud ringing noise and JJ jumped at the noise. But still nothing happened, Reid pushed it again.

“Let me try,” Morgan sighed, taking a step towards Reid.

“No,” Reid muttered, pushing the button again, facing away from Morgan.

“Come on,” Morgan groaned, pushing Reid’s hand away.

Reid yelped and tried to batt Morgan’s hands away, but he was too late. Morgan was pushing ferociously on all the buttons and the 2 women shouted at him in sync, “Morgan, stop!” And then it happened, exactly like before, the elevator jerked. The team all yelped and tried to grab onto the walls.

“I told you!” Reid shouted, gripping onto the walls.

The elevator jerked again and Emily grabbed onto JJ. “Damn it, Morgan!” Emily shouted.

“Oh, come on, not today,” Morgan whimpered, looking down to his feet.

“Morgan, remind me to fire you when we get back,” Hotch gulped, with wide eyes.

“Not if I kill him first,” Rossi grumbled.

The elevator shook, and the team threw their hands harder against the wall. “We chase serial killers, and we’re more scared over a damn elevator,” JJ said with a shaky voice.

The elevator was still shaking rapidly and the team all closed their eyes in fear. “Reid, I…” Morgan began, before Reid slapped his forearm.

“Don’t you dare apologise,” he grumbled, resting his head in his hands fearfully.

“That wasn’t what I was going to say,” Morgan replied breathlessly, resting his head against the wall.

Reid looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and his heart raced, but before he could speak, Hotch interrupted them. “Guys, can you wait until we get out of here? Time and a place.”

Emily then got restless. She was tired and being cramped with her co-workers made her feel sick, she jumped to the front and banged on the door. “Come on!” She shouted.

“Emily!” Morgan shouted, pulling her back and wrapping his arms around her.

Everything then froze. The noises stopped and the team held their breaths, Morgan still had his arms wrapped around Emily protectively before the elevator jumped and was then quickly dragged up. Emily then jumped out of Morgan’s arms and fell towards JJ as they held onto each other. And, Morgan grabbed onto the first person he thought of and crouched down to the floor with them safely in his arms. Everyone else in the elevator followed his lead and crouched down to the floor, grabbing someone to protect. Reid tensed his jaw under the protection of strong arms, he didn’t know who was on top of him, but it was someone strong. He smelt something recognisable and it sent shivers down his spine, it was his cologne – Morgan’s cologne. Regardless of the situation around him, he wanted to stay like that forever. In his arms, safely tucked away from the rest of the world.

But the elevator then stopped, Morgan lifted his head slowly, giving Reid the room to move his, too. They all looked around and saw who was holding on to who. JJ and Emily were clutching tightly on to each other as Hotch and Rossi protectively covered the two women with their arms, and Reid was tucked safely under Morgan’s arms and chest. Once everyone made sure they were all okay, they slowly stood up. They looked at the elevator door, and it slowly opened. They sighed in relief once they were greeted with the warmth and lighting of their floor. They all jumped out of the elevator and leant against the walls outside the elevator, catching their breaths. “Hallelujah,” Morgan muttered, looking down to the floor.

“Derek Morgan, I am going to kill you,” Emily breathed.

“Get in line, baby,” Morgan replied, closing his eyes for a brief second.

“Regardless of us being friends, I will not hesitate to smother you in your sleep,” Rossi chuckled dryly.

“I told you, but no one believed me,” Reid spoke.

“Shut up,” Morgan said playfully, softy hitting his head.

Reid grunted loudly. Before pushing himself off the wall, “I really don’t want to see you again until I have to.” Reid walked away from the group, stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked down to the floor as he walked.

“You keep telling yourself that, pretty boy.” Morgan chuckled, his eyes following Reid as he walked to his door.

“Hey, Reid,” Hotch spoke loudly.

“Yeah?” He spoke quickly, looking back to his friends who still stood by the elevator, catching their breaths.

“Where’s your coat?” He asked.

“What?” He patted at his sides and shoulder, before sighing. “Oh, damn it, Jack.”

The team scoffed, “and your key?” JJ asked.

Reid rammed his hands into his empty trouser pockets alarmingly, before sighing and dropping his head to look at the floor, “I give up with men.”

JJ laughed and walked up to Reid, handing him her key, “take my room for the night. I’ll share with Emily.”

“No, JJ. I can’t do that,” Reid shook his head persistently.

“Reid, take it,” JJ ordered.

“Seriously, Reid, take it. My room has a queen size, anyway,” Emily smiled, her eyes sparkling as she spoke.

“I can’t,” Reid shook his head. He couldn't take JJ's room, he was going to get his key back the following morning - there was no point in him messing up her bed. 

“Why don’t you share with one of us then?” Morgan asked.

Reid felt his cheeks burn, but he didn’t know what to reply. “Um, okay.”

“You can share with me.” Hotch nodded.

“Hey, man. I offered first.” Morgan replied, throwing Hotch a fake smile, before turning back to face Reid and winked at the yunger man. 

Hotch took Morgan’s subtle dig, and looked back at Reid. “Reid?”

Reid looked between Hotch and Morgan and his head spun. He didn’t know who to choose. He wouldn’t have been bothered staying in a room with Morgan for the rest of the night, listening to his long breaths, listening to every sound the man made in his sleep. But then he didn’t want to make his feelings for the man obvious, so instead he froze; staring at the two men who asked where he wanted to sleep. He also wouldn’t have minded staying in Hotch’s room, but he didn’t want to ruin that either. He couldn’t do it; so, he said the name that first popped into his head. “Rossi.”

“Sure thing, kid,” Rossi said from behind Hotch and Morgan. Rossi knew, of course he knew! And he was more than willing to help the poor man, he couldn't bare to see him so confused and unsure which side to choose, or which room to sleep in. 

“Okay, well, me and Em are really tired. And we need to talk about something from back home, so I’m gonna go to her room for a while.” JJ said with a slight smile.

Emily nodded, “goodnight.” And she walked down the corridor with JJ standing closely by, and shown her to her room. The 4 men stared after the two as they disappeared into the room.

“They’re never gonna tell us, are they,” Reid mumbled.

Rossi laughed, “come on.”

Reid nodded and turned back to face Rossi, “right.”

“Goodnight, guys,” Reid said to Hotch and Morgan, as they stared at him.

“See you both in the morning,” Rossi said with a wave, as he led him and Reid to his room.

“Goodnight, Spencer,” Hotch and Morgan both said in sync.

Reid turned around and looked weirdly at the two men, “uh, yeah, goodnight.” Rossi laughed and watched as Reid walked fully into the room, before closing the door and leaving the two men stranded outside. “I’ll take the couch,” Reid mumbled distractedly.

“You sure, I have a big enough bed,” Rossi answered.

“Yeah, thank you,” Reid said with a forced smile.

“Whatever you say, kid,” Rossi smiled. 

* * *

 

“So, I’m gonna head off,” Morgan said awkwardly, as him and Hotch stood in the hallway. Neither men knew what to say, or what to do. Memories of what happened between them in the parking lot flooded back into their minds, and guilt swallowed both men whole. 

“Yeah,” Hotch grumbled.

Morgan began to walk away before Hotch called his name. Morgan turned back to face him, “yeah?”

“We need to talk,” he replied, taking a few steps towards Morgan.

“Listen, about what I said earlier, it was out of line and I never should have said it,” Morgan spat out, shaking his head apologetically. 

“No, but you did. And, it’s true,” Hotch sighed.

Morgan laughed inwardly. He knew it. But Morgan also felt something fall into his stomach, he hoped that what he thought was just in his head. He hoped that the realisation was all part of a big dream, and he’d wake up tomorrow and laugh about it. “How long?” He asked.

“Not as long as you have,” Hotch replied.

“What?” Morgan scoffed, his heart rate quickened.

Hotch sighed and looked down to the ground. “You have feelings for Reid, Morgan. And you’ve had them for a very long time.”

“Hotch, I have no…” Morgan began, before Hotch cut him off.

“ _No idea what it’s like to be in love with another man,_ ” he quoted, looking up to the darker man. Hotch stared at him with knowing eyes and a straight, plain, emotionless face.

Morgan looked at his boss confused, how did he remember him saying that? And then it dawned on him. That’s what Reid had been watching with Garcia that night, that’s why he couldn’t even look at him, that’s why Hotch was so pissed – not because he had feelings for Reid, but because of what he said, because of what he said that hurt him. “That’s what I did that hurt him,” he whispered.

“Yes,” Hotch replied calmly.

“How did you know?” Morgan asked, trying to wrap his mind around what was going on.

“Because you’re not the only one who has feelings for Reid, Derek. I do, too. But I know you’re the one he’s in love with, I have known for a while and that night when he ran out of Garcia’s office, I knew he had watched the interrogation tapes of the last case, like he always does. I knew he heard what you said, I knew it just by looking at him. And, it broke me. I love him, Derek, I do. But, he loves you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Reid jerked awake as he felt his shoulders shake violently. He gasped, trying to catch his breath and his eyes focused on the worried man leaning down next to him, holding his shoulders. “Reid, are you okay?” Rossi asked. Rossi was staring down at the man with worried and wide eyes, his chest was rising quickly and his hair was pushed back.

“Sorry, yeah, I’m fine,” Reid gulped, the younger man was trying to control his own breathing. Rossi leant back as Reid sat up and swung his legs around over the couch. He ran his hands through his hair and tried his hardest to forget his dream. To forget the screams than ran over in his mind constantly, to forget the blood that was running down his hands. As in his dream, Reid quickly looked down to his hands and let out a breath when he saw they weren’t stained with the red, crimson liquid he feared.

“Reid?” Rossi asked, concern written in his eyes, looking between Reid’s face and his hands.

“It was just a bad dream, that’s all,” Reid muttered, running another hand through his hair as he looked up to his friend.

“ _Just a bad dream_? Reid, I had to convince security _and_ Hotch and Morgan not to barge the door down,” Rossi scoffed.

Reid stared nervously into Rossi’s eyes, “I’m sorry,” he whimpered. Reid felt the beads of sweat resting on his forehead and brow line, slip down his face.

“Don’t apologise. It happens to the best of us,” Rossi smiled, putting a hand supportively on Reid’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Reid scoffed before muttering sadly, “I’m sorry for waking you.”

“Stop apologising, kid. Everything’s fine,” Rossi smiled.

Reid rubbed his face, “you should get some rest. I think I’ve kept you all up enough tonight.”

“You need some sleep, too,” Rossi chuckled, standing up.

“Yes, sir,” Reid nodded, mustering a smile.

“Goodnight, Reid,” Rossi spoke, as he walked to his bed and got in.

“Night, Rossi.” He replied, lying back down on the couch.

Reid remained still, looking up at the ceiling. His eyes were threatening to close, but he was too scared. He didn’t want the nightmare to return. It was one of the worst ones he had in a while. Reid took a deep breath and tried to think of something that would have distracted him, he racked his brain and he eventually found the right thing. The perfect thing that would numb all his senses, something that would lull him to sleep. _“You’re right, I have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be in love with another man.”_ The phrase repeated in his mind over and over, and over again; until he fell asleep.

 

“Is he dead?” Emily asked with a yawn.

“Emily!” JJ whined.

“Come on, he hasn’t moved. We’ve been prodding him for at least 5 minutes,” She groaned.

“Last night must have really worn him out,” Rossi sighed.

The whole team were all crowded in Rossi’s hotel room, trying to wake Reid as softly as they could. They weren’t late and they weren’t going to be late, but they all wanted to go out for breakfast before they had to go back to deliver the final profile. Reid was on the couch with his legs stretched out, and one arm resting over his eyes and another resting on his abdomen. He was breathing evenly and his chest rose with a slight whimper. The team all stared at their friend, the youngest agent, and watched how content and relaxed he looked, it was the first time in days that the team had seen Reid so calm and tranquil.

“Should we splash him with water or something?” Emily asked, breaking the silence.

“Emily, no!” JJ laughed.

Morgan smiled at Emily, before walking to where Reid’s head was and leant down, “Spencer Reid. Get your ass up,” he spoke loudly. But he still didn’t stir, Morgan remained inches away from Reid’s face, surprised at how much of a heavy sleeper Reid was. “Damn,” he said, standing back up.

Before anyone else could say anything, a ringing tone and vibration echoed through the room. The team looked at each other, before each looking at their phones. The alarm was quieter than anyone else’s alarm, so they already knew it wasn’t any of theirs. But then they heard a slight grunt from the man who slept on the couch. They looked down to him and watched as he squirmed, and groaned before he reached down into his trouser pockets and took out his new phone. He always had a spare, luckily. With his eyes still closed, he turned the alarm off and put his phone onto his chest, before putting his arm back over his eyes, blocking out the light.

“So, he wakes up to the quietest alarm, but not to someone shaking him?” Morgan scoffed.

Once Reid heard the voice, he opened his eyes and jumped up to his feet. He stared with wide, tired eyes at the 5 people standing closely around him. “Why the hell are you watching me sleep?” He yelped loudly.

“Jack dropped this off for you,” JJ said with a timid voice, pushing his coat towards him.

Reid didn’t reply or take the coat from her hands, he continued to look at his friends, demanding answers. “Why were you watching me sleep?” He asked again.

“We weren’t watching you sleep, kid. We were trying to wake you,” Rossi spoke softly.

Reid then sighed and rubbed his eyes, “did I have another nightmare?”

“No, it was just time to go,” Hotch replied, with a slight smile playing upon his lips.

“Right,” Reid yawned, finally taking the coat from JJ. He reached into the pockets and sighed a relieved sigh once he felt the key card in his fingers. He pulled it out and smiled proudly at his friends, “got it.”

His team laughed and watched as Reid yawned once more, showing his team how young and innocent he truly was. “Hurry and get ready, kid. We gotta leave in 20 minutes,” Morgan spoke.

Reid nodded before walking around his team and towards the door, they all watched as he left the room and made his way to his own. “God, I love that man,” Emily laughed.

They all smiled at her comment and proceeded to sit down and wait for their younger friend. “Yeah, I love the kid but he does like to take his time getting ready. He’s never gonna make it in time,” JJ said, as she sat down on Rossi’s bed.

“I’m gonna time him,” Morgan huffed, taking his phone out. He opened the timer app and pressed start, watching as the number changed from 00:00 to 00:01.

“He’ll be 17 minutes,” Hotch said with a smirk knowingly.

“17?” Rossi laughed.

“Yep.” Hotch replied.

“Alright, bets on.” Rossi said, getting his wallet out of his pocket. He placed a $50 bill on the table in the room, “24 minutes.”

Hotch stared at his friend for a few seconds, before smirking and walking to the table, and put a $20 bill over Rossi’s money. Hotch knew he was going to win his money back, there was no doubt about it.

“We’re just gonna sit and watch, I don’t think I’m risking it,” Morgan smiled.

“Risk losing your money?” Rossi laughed.

“No, I’m not risking Reid’s devil eyes when he finds out we’ve been betting over him,” Morgan laughed.

“Shit,” Hotch muttered under his breath.

“I’m blaming the girls,” Rossi pointed at the two women who sat on the edge of the bed.

“What?” Emily chuckled dryly, and the 3 men smirked in response.

 A few minutes went by, and they all sat silently waiting for Reid – suddenly, a loud bang was heard, followed by Reid muttering loudly, “shit.” A moment went by as the team thought of what the noise was, before they heard a quiet knock on the door.

They all looked at Morgan expectedly before anyone answered the door. “7 minutes?” He muttered with his eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Hotch asked.

Morgan raised his phone and evidently shown his team the timer, proving it had only been 7 minutes. JJ cocked her eyebrow, before getting up from Rossi’s bed and walking towards the door. She looked through the peephole and muttered inaudibly, “what the hell?” Before quickly opening the door, once she did, she stared, frozen in her spot.

 “JJ?” Morgan asked, as she stared in the doorway, unmoving.

“Oh, my God,” she breathed.

Emily quickly moved off the bed and stood next to JJ, and she also froze. The 3 men stood up and armed their guns, moving slowly towards the door. But once they were all at the door and could see who was outside, they dropped their weapons. Reid was standing outside, soaked with only a towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes were awkwardly dancing around the eyes of his friends as his cheeks reddened. “I locked myself out.” Droplets were falling off his long hair, and rolling down his body and then sliding down his towel covered waist. Some were even falling onto the floor.

It was JJ who broke first. She snorted before falling into a fit of laughter, Emily soon followed. “Reid, how the hell did you do that?” Emily laughed.

Reid stammered over his words for a moment, before giving up and sighing. “Can I borrow some clothes?”

Emily and JJ moved into the room, knowing he wasn’t asking them. It was then that Reid noticed that none of the men had said anything. Rossi was trying not laugh at his drowned friend as he stood in the corridor, where anyone could see him. And, Hotch was staring with wide eyes at the boy. His eyes were tracing over Reid’s body, as he gulped loudly and his cheeks reddened. Morgan wasn’t staring completely at Reid’s body, but more into his eyes; as if he was seeking for something – but, he was also looking all over Reid. His eyes examining every piece of him, and every droplet of water that slid down his pale skin.

“Clothes? Please?” Reid begged, getting uncomfortable at the unwanted attention.

Hotch tore his eyes away and coughed loudly, clearing his throat and grabbed onto Reid’s shoulder, dragging him into the room – with a yelp from Reid.

“Do you want to attract attention to yourself?” Rossi chuckled, taking a few steps back as Reid rested against the now closed door.

“Definitely not.” Reid muttered, resting his head back and closing his eyes. His heart was beating rapidly against his chest as anxiety and fear ran laps around his body.

Morgan was still staring, his throat had become hoarse and he couldn’t focus on anything other than Reid, and everyone in the room, except from Reid, saw that. Emily stood next to Morgan and subtly rammed her elbow into his side; Morgan hissed in pain and stared down at the woman next to him. She nodded her head towards Reid and muttered under her breath, only allowing Morgan to hear, “borrowing each other’s clothes is always a good start.”

Morgan scoffed at her, before his mind started to work. He thought for a few seconds before turning back to Reid, “you can borrow some of mine.”

Reid snapped his eyes open and looked at the man who stood by the couch near the door, “really?” He asked.

“Sure,” Morgan replied with a smile.

“Thank you, so much,” Reid breathed out, showing a nervous smile. But his eyes then wandered to the table that sat near the window and fell to the money. “What’s that, it wasn’t there earlier?”

They all looked at the money guiltily and refused to reply with the truth, JJ moved over to the money and picked it up, clearing her throat. “It’s for you,” she replied, walking over to Reid and handing the money out. Hotch and Rossi stared wide eyed at the pair, desperately wanting to say something, whilst Emily and Derek smirked.

Reid examined the money and then JJ, “I’m not taking your money.”

“Reid, take it, man. You can pay me back,” Morgan said from behind JJ.

Rossi snorted and Hotch stared at the darker man. But still neither said anything.

“I’m fine, thanks,” Reid said, shaking his head adamantly, taking a step back.

JJ stared at his face and then sighed, knowing Reid wouldn’t take the money and stuffed the money in her back pocket. “I thought it was Morgan’s?” Reid asked.

“She can have it,” Morgan shrugged.

JJ smiled and patted Morgan’s shoulder, and Reid scanned them both with wary eyes. “Right,” he said slowly, before Morgan moved to the door. 

“I’ll check if the coast is clear,” Morgan said, slowly opening the door. He peered outside and saw that no one was there, he beckoned Reid with his hand and he quickly moved out of the room with Reid closely behind. Rossi scoffed after them and closed the door. The 2 men quickly reached Morgan’s room and he opened the door, softly pushing Reid into the room. “In my go-bag. You’re lucky I pack spare clothes,” Morgan laughed.

“Thanks, Morgan,” Reid smiled.

“No problem, kid,” Morgan replied, ruffling Reid’s wet hair.

Morgan went into his go-bag, that was on his messy bed, and took out slim fit black jeans and a black t-shirt, and some socks. There was no way he was going to lend him any boxers, but then he didn’t want him to go commando in his jeans either. He stared into the bag, contemplating on what to do for a moment. “Oh, um,” Reid muttered, “I have some, um, you know, on.”

Morgan watched the boy squirm uncomfortably on his feet for a moment before realising what he had meant. “Oh, thank God,” He sighed, letting go of the underwear in his bag. He handed Reid the clothes he picked out and smiled.

“Thank you, Derek, so much,” Reid sighed a relieved sigh, taking the clothes.

“It’s okay, Spencer,” Morgan replied, pointing to the bathroom.

Reid smiled and walked into the bathroom to get changed, before closing the door. He looked at the clothes and realised how much of a different fashion sense the two men had, he chuckled to himself and dropped the towel around his waist. Luckily for him, he had put underwear on before he left his room. He didn’t even know why he had left his room, he had thought of a question to ask Hotch – and it couldn’t wait; but after all the commotion, it had slipped his mind. He shook his head, disappointed in himself, and slipped the jeans on. They were a bit big, but because they were originally slim fit they seemed to fit fine on him, same for the t-shirt as it usually clung onto Morgan’s skin, it was a little baggy on the boy but people would have guessed he may have missed a couple of meals in his time. Reid then slipped the socks on and sat on the edge of the bath tub. His body had dried, but his hair was still very wet. Droplets falling onto his face and the floor, some even slipped down his neck. He sighed uncomfortably at the sensation and violently shook his hair, grunting as he did so.

“Kid, you okay?” Morgan asked, as he knocked on the door.

“I’m fine,” Reid replied, standing up.

“You sure?” He asked again.

“Yeah,” he said, before walking to the door as he picked up his towel. Once he reached the door, he pulled the handle and opened the door.

Morgan watched as the door opened and his eyes fell on the boy who timidly walked out of the bathroom. He looked different, very different. Morgan was so used to seeing Reid in his casual suits, that seeing him in anything else caused a reaction inside of him that he’d rather not think of. He gulped loudly, before ruffling the kid’s wet hair. “You look good.”

“I feel like a teenager,” he moaned, ruffling his hair himself as he tried to dry it quicker. 

Morgan laughed, “Hotch is your shoe size, I think.” But once Morgan mentioned Hotch’s name, his smile dropped – he didn’t want to think of Hotch after last night.

Reid noticed this, but didn’t say anything. Instead he nodded and they left the hotel room, walking back to Rossi’s. They knocked on and the door was opened, Rossi stared at the man before nodding at Morgan and puckering his lips, “you did good.”

Morgan laughed and they both walked in, the whole group’s eyes fell on Reid and they smiled. “Looking good, Reid,” JJ said with a smile, and Emily nodded.

Reid laughed nervously, “Hotch, can I borrow…” He asked before Hotch interrupted him.

“Shoes?” He asked, his cheeks reddening at the sight of Reid.

“Please,” Reid smiled.

“Come with me,” Hotch replied, walking him and Reid to the door.

“Uh,” Morgan spoke quickly, “you want me to come with?”

“It’s just shoes, Morgan,” Hotch spoke quietly, as they both walked out of the room. Hotch kept his eyes firmly on the ground ahead of him as he walked, not bothering to turn back around to address the man.

Morgan nodded and watched as Reid slowly looked back to him, before Morgan closed the door on them. They silently walked to Hotch’s room, and as soon as they were in the room, Reid sat on the bed comfortably.

“How long are we gonna have to keep this up?” Hotch sighed, sitting down next to Reid, looking at the man beside him. Hotch's hands found their way into Reid's hair as he also tried to help with the drying process.

“I don’t know,” Reid mumbled, looking down to his fumbling hands, as Hotch removed his own hands.

“Reid, I know you have feelings for Derek,” Hotch spoke quietly.

Reid shot a look at his superior, before he frowned, “Hotch, no, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do, Spencer. If you'd rather be with him than me, please just tell me.” He replied.

“Aaron, stop." He exclaimed, standing up. Reid sighed loudly, he just wanted to go home; away from this, away from everyone and everything. 

Hotch stared at the man with a straight face, but the pain was evident in his eyes. He stood up before reaching for the shoes and handed them to Reid. “Here,” he said.

“Thank you,” Reid replied, siting back down on the bed. 

Hotch nodded and watched as Reid put the shoes on, avoiding Hotch’s gaze. “Spencer, I’m sorry.”

Reid sighed and stood back up, “we should go.”

Hotch stared at the man and nodded, standing up. Reid was trying his hardest not to look at Hotch, he felt too guilty. 

* * *

 

They had solved the case, finally. After 5 days they had finally found the pair of unsubs and saved 3 women in the process, their profile was correct – other than it was the teenager who was coercing the older man, and not the other way around. There was one thing that happened, though. Reid and Morgan were sent around the back before anyone else came, but the unsubs were expecting them. They had planned a very quick and organised attack, like their attacks on the women. It was a blitz attack and Reid and Morgan were soon on the floor, unarmed. Reid had a hand wrapped around his throat, as he was held up against the wall, whilst he stared at Morgan, who was pinned down to the floor with a knee on his back and a gun pointed to the back of his head. Morgan’s lip and nose were bleeding, but he didn’t care about that – he only cared about Reid. Reid was a lot worse, there were cuts under both of his eyes and blood was dripping from his mouth, nose and forehead. Reid’s eyes were threatening to close but he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t give up in front of Morgan. His breathing hitched and stammered as the hands around his neck tightened.

“Stop!” Morgan cried, “please.”

The older man’s knee on his back became heavier and it made it harder for him to breath, but he didn’t stop shouting for the younger man to stop. “Kill me, not him!” He begged.

Reid stared at the man with scared eyes, “no,” he whimpered.

The younger unsub, Charles Lloyd, laughed before releasing Reid. Reid fell to the floor on his hands and gasped for breath, coughing out blood. Charles watched him and laughed, enjoying the pain in the younger man. The older man, Phillip Gozner, remained firmly pinning down Morgan. “What are you doing?” Phillip asked.

“Gotta let this roll out,” Charles said slowly, with a smile, as he looked to Phillip before looking back down to the man under he controlled.

“Reid, look at me,” Morgan said softly, gaining Reid’s attention.

Reid looked at Morgan with wide eyes as he felt the blood roll down his chin, he was still gasping for air but just looking into Morgan’s eyes calmed him. “Are you okay?” Reid whispered hoarsely. He looked at Morgan, as Morgan’s hand was reaching out towards Reid.

“Are you?” Morgan scoffed.

“That’s enough,” Phillip boomed, digging his knee further into Morgan.

Morgan groaned in pain and closed his eyes tightly, before he heard Reid gasp again. He looked up and saw the hands once again on Reid’s neck, as Charles once again held him pinned up against the wall. But before Morgan could shout or say anything, Phillip pushed the gun against his head. Morgan held his tongue and painfully closed his eyes. He wanted the man to stop hurting Reid, he would do anything. But he knew that getting himself killed wouldn’t save Reid. Reid’s hands slowly stopped fighting against Charles’, and his eyes were starting to close as his body fell limp. “Reid!” Morgan screamed.

And then, fortunately, the door behind them was opened and a familiar voice spoke softly but angrily, “remove your hands from the agent’s neck.”

Reid whispered, "Hotch,” his eyes closed and body still limp.

Phillip saw the 4 FBI agents surrounding them and immediately surrendered, slowly removing the gun from the back of Morgan’s head and standing up, getting up off the man. He grunted as Rossi pulled him towards him and slapped the handcuffs around his wrist and held him tightly, as Morgan slowly got up, kicking Phillip's gun away from them all. Charles stared at his partner and his hands tightened even more around Reid’s throat. Reid’s head fell to his side.

“Stop!” The team shouted in sync.

But the man didn’t stop, and the team shot. JJ, Emily and Hotch shot at the man; killing him instantly. Hotch holstered his gun quickly before running to Reid, and caught him as he fell to the ground. He moved him out of the way of Charles’ body, and laid him on the ground. Reid’s eyes were still closed, and Hotch listened to his chest. He couldn’t hear a heartbeat. Hotch looked up to his friends with fearful eyes, before quickly performing CPR on the younger agent. He pushed down onto his chest in even beats, “come on,” he repeated. “Come on!” Hotch shouted, before leaning down and opening Reid’s mouth, giving him the air he needed. Suddenly, as Hotch leant back up, Reid coughed and breathed loudly. Hotch blinked repeatedly at the man, before smiling with tearful eyes, “you bastard.”

“Nice to see you too,” Reid croaked.

Hotch helped the man sit up and crouched behind him, allowing Reid to sit back and lean all his weight on him. Reid coughed hysterically and leant against his boss, as he cradled him. “You’re okay, Spencer. You’re okay,” he spoke softly, also reassuring himself.

The team were also finally able to breathe, as they watched their boss save and hold their friend. As Morgan watched the pair, jealousy was radiating throughout him, but he was only glad Reid was okay - alive. Rossi dragged Phillip away who was crying over his partner’s death, and he struggled against the handcuffs. But once he was out of the house, Hotch slowly stood up, still holding Reid closely against his chest as he caught his breath. “Can you walk?” He asked.

“Yes,” Reid whispered. Though, Hotch didn’t let him walk by himself. He held him close and wrapped his arm around his waist, helping him walk out of the house. The team watched with furrowed eyebrows and concerned looks, they all stared sympathetically at their young friend, but stared confusedly at Hotch as his eyes burned with tears and pain as he held the man.

 

Reid thought long and hard as Hotch helped him; Hotch hadn't left his side since the incident, he was there for him throughout it all, he held him, helped him, spoke to him, helped him pack and even kept an eye on his breathing. He thought about how patient Hotch was with him, how he had always been patient with him – especially regarding Morgan. Reid felt so guilty for everything he had done to Hotch, he had constantly ignored him when he was fawning over Morgan. Reid knew what he and Hotch had was something that could progress if he allowed it, but by doing that, he had to get over Morgan. If he wanted to get over the man he had loved since the moment they met, then he had to concentrate on his future and _relationship_ with Hotch; he had to be fully committed. The young agent was sick and tired of waiting for Morgan – waiting for him to realise that he didn’t want to talk about previous sexual encounters with him, waiting for him to realise how stupid he truly was and that Reid was right there in front of him the whole time. Regardless of what could happen, Morgan was too late, Reid thought. He was too late.

 

The team were on the jet, no one spoke – no one said a word. That was until Morgan moved seats and sat in front of Reid, the table separating them. “Pretty boy, I hope they didn’t mess up the face too bad. You know that’s your best asset.”

Reid scoffed, looking up to the man. He prodded at his left cheek, feeling the tender skin. “Luckily just some superficial knicks and bruises. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” Morgan smiled.

Reid sucked in his lips and smiled with his eyes. But then Morgan’s eyes dropped and saddened. “Morgan?” He asked, his heart dropped.

“Can I ask you a question?” Morgan asked, leaning forward, resting his hands on the table.

“Of course,” Reid replied quickly, clearing his throat as it stung.

Morgan looked behind him and at Hotch who sat at the back of the jet with his eyes closed; his eyes then wandered around the rest of the jet and saw that everyone else was asleep. He sighed thankfully, and then once again his concentration was fully brought back to Reid. Morgan took a deep breath, “what are you and Hotch?”

Reid’s eyes widened and he gulped loudly, “what?”

“You and Hotch have been acting weird recently. I didn’t notice it until the other day in the street when you nearly passed out; but now that I think about it, it’s been like this for a while.” Morgan said plainly.

Reid sat fully back in his chair and closed his eyes, “Morgan, please.”

“Reid, I need to know,” Morgan spoke, almost begging, Reid opened his eyes.

“Why?” Reid said, his voice uneven,

“Please,” he pleaded again.

“Morgan. Why?” Reid asked again, quieter yet more sternly this time.

The frustration became too much for him, and he broke. “Because I have feelings for you, Reid,” he whispered angrily.

Reid blinked repeatedly for at least a minute, not taking his eyes off Morgan. His breath was trapped in his throat and his head spun. He couldn’t move and God, did he want to move. He needed some air, but he knew it was physically impossible.

“Reid, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, dropping his head into his hands.

“Um, it’s fine,” Reid whispered.

Morgan looked up to Reid as he spoke and his eyes softened. “So, you and Hotch?”

Reid looked down to his hands and closed his eyes sadly. “I’m sorry.”

Morgan sat back in his chair and felt his heart break and the pieces fell into his stomach, “I’m too late,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry, Morgan. I’m so sorry,” Reid whispered. He was late. 2 hours late. Something in Reid's mind was telling him to forget the 2 hours, and to just jump over the table and kiss the man in front of him. Kiss the man he loved. But he was too late. Regardless of it being 2 hours, Reid had waited  _years_ for the man to finally understand, to finally realise Reid and himself weren't just friends. He was sick of it, he needed someone who saw him and didn't blow him off, or dismiss something he found interesting. He was too late.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault, I should have realised my feelings sooner,” Morgan forced a smile.

 

Hotch watched with scared eyes as Morgan and Reid spoke. He had felt Morgan look at him when he looked around the jet and his eyes shot open once he turned back to Reid. He had heard the conversation; he had heard every bit of it. Hotch stared at the man he loved and rested his head back into the chair, he didn’t know what to do, he loved the man but he just wanted him to be happy – even if that meant not being with him. He sighed and allowed his subconscious to take over as he thought. 

* * *

 

“Reid, can I talk to you for a minute, please?” Hotch asked, standing outside of his office and looking down into the bullpen.

A month had passed since Morgan told Reid about his feelings for him, and him finding out about Hotch and Reid’s _secret but not so secret_ relationship. Their whole team had found out, and, boy, did they take the mick. They joked and hinted at every chance they got at the couple – though, always with subtle hints at the office as they didn’t want the pair to lose their jobs.

Reid looked up to Hotch, and nodded, “sure.” He stood up and walked up to Hotch’s office, ignoring the wolf whistles from Rossi. He stepped into Hotch’s office and watched as Hotch closed the door behind him. He only occasionally closed the door, and Reid knew they were about to talk about something less pleasant than he thought – and the whole team watched them, knowing it too.

“Hotch?” Reid asked, as they sat down at the desk.

“I need your help,” Hotch said with a straight face, walking back to his own seat and sitting down, his eyes firmly placed on the man in front of him.

“Of course, anything,” Reid replied quickly.

“I’m going out tonight, and I was wondering if you would watch Jack for me?” He asked with a slight smile.

“What?” Reid asked, confused.

“I didn’t have enough time to call a sitter. Please, Spencer?” Hotch asked with pleading eyes.

Reid took a nervous breath, “Jack?”

“You’ll be fine, I promise,” he assured.

Reid thought for a moment, before nodding slowly, “okay.”

“Thank you so much, Spencer,” Hotch spoke, smiling.

“Where are you going anyway?” Reid asked, sitting back in his chair, trying his hardest to relax.

Hotch’s eyes shot open guiltily and his palms started to sweat, Reid noticed this and furrowed his eyebrows. “Hotch?” He asked.

“Out with Hayley,” he said quietly, looking down to his hands on the desk.

Reid stared at the man in disbelief and scoffed, “seriously?”

“She just wants to talk, that’s all,” Hotch replied, looking back up to Reid with guilty and worried eyes.

“And talk about what, Aaron?” Reid asked angrily.

Hotch looked at the man, his anger was seething out of him. He had never seen him so irrational or angry before, well maybe a couple of times, but never like this at him. “I don’t know,” he muttered in response. Reid scoffed and stood up, angrily marching towards the door. “Reid,” Hotch said, as he watched the man walk away.

He ignored him and quickly pulled the door open, the team had been watching them through the window the whole time and knew whatever they had been talking about hadn’t gone down well. They watched Reid storm away from the office, but then they saw Hotch stand in the doorway, “Reid!” He shouted after him. Still, he ignored him. The team’s eyes followed Spencer as he walked to his desk and pick up his coat and bag. “Spencer!” Hotch shouted again.

Reid sighed angrily before walking away once again, he was then firmly stopped. He turned around and saw Hotch grabbing his forearm with a worried stare. He looked behind him and saw the team also looking at him with a worried look, but his eyes quickly fell onto Morgan – he looked angry.

“Spencer, can we please talk?” Hotch asked calmly, still holding onto his forearm.

“No. I’m going home,” Reid muttered, refusing to look at his partner in the eye.

“Reid, if you don’t want me to go then just say?” He replied, moving his head so he could see Reid's face, his eyes.

Reid sighed and finally looked him in the eyes, “it’s not that. It’s just that you want me to babysit whilst you go meet up with your ex? Hotch, you didn’t even tell me that she rang you.”

JJ’s mouth fell ajar as she heard what Reid had said, and Rossi muttered “Aaron,” under his breath. Emily stared in unknowing and Morgan also stared, but in anger.

“I’m sorry,” Hotch replied sincerely. "I just didn't want you to feel unconnected, and I was only going to be gone a couple of hours. Hayley said it was urgent, and I don't trust anyone else other than you."

Reid stared at him for a moment before sighing, “fine.”

“Fine?” He asked with a shake of his head. Hotch didn’t know if Reid was being serious, how could someone change from angry to calm in under 5 seconds? He thought.

“If it’s really important to you, then I’ll do it,” Reid said in a quiet voice, Reid wanted nothing more than for Hotch to agree and go back into his office – leaving him alone.

Hotch thought for a moment, before shaking his head once again. “No. I’ll cancel, and we can just have a night in to ourselves.”

“Hotch, if you need to speak to Hayley, then go do it,” Reid replied, looking back at his friends who quickly looked away, trying to look as if they weren’t listening.

“No, you were right,” Hotch smiled with a deep breath. He looked at the man and watched as the tension from Reid's neck and back rolled away, and his eyes softened; Hotch smiled again. Reid smiled a small smile back, before Hotch slowly took Reid’s coat and bag from his hands. “Now, you’re not gonna try and run again, are you?”

Reid chuckled slightly and shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

Morgan looked down to the floor in anger as he heard the younger agent mutter his apology, Morgan thought that he didn’t need to apologise; it wasn’t his fault. Emily saw this and subtly placed her hand on his back to provide the man with the emotional support. She was the only one who fully knew Morgan’s situation, she was there at any time of the day – or night, to just listen to Morgan talk about how he was feeling.  He looked at the woman and smiled, silently thanking her. She smiled back and then they looked back to the two men as Hotch walked away from Reid, placing his bag and coat back at his desk before walking back into his office. Reid had a slight smile on his face, but once Hotch was out of view, it dropped. He closed his eyes and sighed quietly, before walking away to fix himself a cup of coffee. The team all watched the boy with worried eyes, he hadn’t been acting like himself recently. He hadn’t been throwing facts or statistics their way every 2 minutes like usual, and they surprisingly missed it. Reid was trying his hardest to seem okay, to seem like himself, but he just didn’t know how. He sighed once again, as he poured the coffee into his mug.

 

“Everything okay between you and Reid?” Rossi asked, walking into Hotch’s office.

Hotch looked up to the man, “yeah, thank you.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

Hotch sighed before nodding his head to the door, and Rossi got the message. He turned and closed the door before walking to the desk and sitting at the chair opposite from Hotch. “What’s going on?” He sat back in his chair and his hands rested in his lap.

“He seems different, and I’m trying my hardest to sort things out. I just want him to be happy and even if that means me agreeing to talk to Hayley, whilst he bonds with Jack,” Hotch replied, pulling his hand down his face with a stressed sigh.

Rossi thought for a moment, “Aaron, you are a brilliant man, but sometimes you can be so stupid. You don’t need to force him to be okay with you, if he didn’t want to be with you – then he would say. You know him more than anyone at the minute, and if you say that he’s acting different then I’ll stand by you with that, but you should talk to Reid about this. If you love him and you want to be with him, then you need to show him that; other than trying to push him away.”

Hotch stared at the man in front of him before smiling slightly, a glint in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Sure,” Rossi smiled.

 

Once Reid had entered Hotch’s apartment that night, his coat was clumsily ripped off him and his tie was quickly pulled from around his neck. Hotch attacked his lips hungrily, both men moaning softly at the action as Reid was pushed back to rest on the closed door. Hotch pulled away from his lips before tracing small kisses on Reid’s jaw and neck. The memories from what happened during the day between the two men entered Hotch’s mind and he wanted nothing more than to prove how much he loved him. He pushed his head back slightly, and kissed harder on the younger man’s neck, using his teeth to mark the man. Reid moaned louder and wrapped his arms around Hotch, holding him tightly against him. Reid could feel his trousers getting tighter.

Then, there was a ringing. And then another ringing from another phone. The two men knew what it was, and tiredly pulled apart. They sighed and Hotch leant forward once again, resting his forehead against Reid’s, as they caught their breaths, their lips swollen and red. Hotch reached into his pocket before pulling his phone out and walking away from Reid, as he did the same.

There was a case – a dump site. A dump site with 29 bodies.

But before they left Hotch’s apartment, Reid went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face to cool him down. But as he looked up into the mirror, he saw it – the red mark printed on his neck. And it wasn’t just a little red spot, it was a full-blown hickey. “Hotch!” He shouted alarmingly, his eyes glued onto the mark through the mirror. His heart was beating erratically in his chest with anxiety.

Hotch came running into the bathroom, his tie half down. “Reid?” He asked worriedly.

Reid turned around with wide eyes and pulled his collar down to reveal the red mark. “What the hell is this?” Hotch’s eyes softened and his lips stretched into a grin. “Hotch, this isn’t funny! We have to go into work and everyone’s gonna see this!” Reid moaned, holding his hair up away from his eyes.

“Cover it up?” Hotch said, leaning against the doorframe. His eyes searching and scanning the man hungrily.

“With what?” Reid replied loudly, “have you seen how big it is? It’s not one you typically see on teenagers, Aaron, it’s a whole lot damn bigger.” Reid awaited Hotch’s reply, but it didn’t come; as he continued to stare at the man with lustful eyes, “stop looking at me like that, Aaron Hotchner! You looking at me like that is why we’re in this mess.”

He sighed with a smile, before walking up to Reid. He buttoned up Reid’s collar, before removing his own tie and placing it on Reid. Once the tie was securely around Reid’s neck, he smiled and pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Relax, okay. No one will say anything.”

The hickey was still peeping over his collar, but they eventually concluded that their friends wouldn’t do or say anything – it wasn’t their business after all. “Ready?” Hotch asked, tying a new tie around his own neck.

“Yes,” Reid sighed, running his hand through his hair.

Hotch laughed at Reid’s concern and pulled at his arm, leading him out of the apartment and down to their cars. They had to take separate cars so no suspicion was aroused, but they knew that turning up at the same time – with Reid having a hickey, would definitely arouse suspicion. So, they had decided to take different routes to work. Hotch was so sick and tired of sneaking around, but he knew they would lose their jobs if their superiors found out. And their jobs were their lives, they were surrounded by their family and they didn’t have an interest in anything else.

* * *

 

Reid hurriedly rushed into the round table room and saw his 6 friends all sitting there waiting for him, and Strauss was also sitting at the table. His eyes widened as he noticed Hotch playing with his own collar, he knew Hotch was trying to wind him up, but, God, was it working. The whole team stared at Reid as they saw the scarf securely wrapped around his neck over his coat. They could easily tell Reid was too warm to be wearing that many layers. “Sorry, there was a lot of traffic,” Reid spoke quietly, looking down to the floor, as he sat down between JJ and Emily.

“Right, let’s get started. Garcia?” Hotch said, his eyes leaving Reid, as he remained seated.

“Yes, sir,” Garcia stood up and began to brief the team.

But before she could say another word, Reid looked up and caught Strauss’ eyes. She had a worried look in her eyes and quickly spoke, “are you okay, Doctor Reid?”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you,” he replied, trying to even his breathing.

Strauss’ eyes then fell to the red mark on the man’s neck, and she pointed to the mark, causing everyone else’s eyes to fall onto his neck. “What happened?” She asked, completely unaware of what the mark truly was. Everyone around the table turned and strained their necks trying to get a better look at the man's neck.

Reid squirmed and wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck. But it was too late, everyone had already seen it. JJ and Emily snorted, Rossi’s mouth fell open in shock, Garcia stared, Hotch tried to suppress his laughter, and Morgan stared with empty eyes. Morgan knew they were together, but he never thought they would have made it obvious. That was the reason why he could ignore their relationship that much, but seeing the mark on the neck of the man he loved, broke his heart all over again. It was like it had finally become real for him and it was the worst feeling in the world. Bile rose in his throat, and his lungs screamed for new air. His head spun and everything in his life slowed down as in slow motion, but something inside of him wished that it had slowed down even more – slowed to the point where everything stopped.

“I burnt myself in the shower,” Reid mumbled quietly, his cheeks reddening. Reid could feel everyone, excluding Strauss and Morgan, smile smugly as they watched him squirm.

“You should be more careful, Doctor Reid,” Hotch said with a straight face, as he gained an agreeing nod from Strauss.

Reid looked at the man with an annoyed look and kicked the man’s shin under the table. Hotch shot up in surprise and muttered, “ouch.”

“You okay, Aaron?” Rossi asked, knowing why he was in pain.

“Yes, thank you, Dave,” Hotch replied, settling back down in his chair, but keeping his eyes locked on Reid’s, “Reid, why don’t you take your coat off, it’s a bit hot.”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Reid replied with a challenging glare.

“I agree with Aaron,” Strauss nodded, smiling sympathetically at the man. For the Chief of the team, she wasn't the brightest.

Reid’s eyes then flickered to Strauss’, and his heart rate picked up. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him and he hated it. What he hated the most was that he could feel Morgan’s eyes firmly locked onto his neck, Reid didn’t have to look to know. Reid felt sick and he just wanted to go home. He had buried the feelings he had for Morgan, knowing that what Morgan felt for the boy wasn’t real and wouldn’t last, and besides, Reid had a suspicion that Morgan was involved with Prentiss. He had noticed that they had been spending a lot of time together and they were talking privately a lot of the time. But Reid knew that he deserved the pain from seeing them _together_ , he was in a relationship where he was mostly thinking of another man. It was all his fault.

 

“Reid?” JJ asked quietly, dragging Reid out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, what?” He asked, looking up from the table to his team.

“We’re going to Georgia. Wheels up in 30,” Hotch said, getting up from the table.

Reid nodded quickly before him and the others also stood up. He realised that he had missed the case being read and explained and quickly followed JJ as she made her way to her desk. “Spence?” She asked once they were both at her desk, “what’s wrong?”

“I missed the briefing,” Reid replied quietly, shuffling his feet.

“Is everything okay?” JJ asked.

“Yeah, I’ve just been quite distracted recently,” he replied, looking at the picture of her and Emily on her desk. Reid smiled inwardly and wished JJ would tell him, he wished she told him so he could tell her about his thing too.

JJ nodded, not wanting to push him. “I’m here if you need to talk.”

“Thank you,” he smiled before looking up to her, "you too."

“Now, the case,” she spoke, “29 male bodies were found in Georgia surrounding a church. The church hadn’t been used since 1988. There had been a mass murder in January 1988, 29 people dead.”

Reid furrowed his eyebrows, “is someone recreating the murders? A copycat?”

“Maybe. But, the killer in ’88 was never caught. And the victims were male _and_ female. The victims now are all male, mid – late twenties, Caucasian and brunet.” JJ said, getting her go-bag from under her desk.

“How were they killed?” He asked thoughtfully. He held the file in his hands, but he just wanted someone to talk to him, to listen to him. 

“A clean shot to the back of the head,” she replied.

“Execution style,” he muttered.

“Come on, we’ll talk more on the jet,” JJ said.

Reid nodded and was about to walk away before JJ shouted him back. “Yeah?” He replied with wide eyes, turning back around to face the petite blonde woman.

“Was that,” she began, pointing to Reid’s neck, “from Hotch?”

Reid looked down to the floor, ashamed, “yes,” he said quietly.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Spence.” She said, walking over to the man.

“I just wish it was smaller,” Reid replied quietly. Feeling the mark on his neck, he could feel the tender skin under his fingertips and knew how big it was.

“I’ll tell you what, on the jet I’ll help you cover it up.” JJ smiled.

Reid looked to her with wide, hopeful eyes, “how?”

“You’ll see.” She smiled wider.

* * *

 “Spencer, just do it.” Hotch chuckled.

“There’s no way I’m putting make-up on.” Reid moaned.

They were all on the jet; Hotch, Emily and Rossi around the table, JJ and Spencer on the couch, and Morgan standing as he leaned against the back of Emily's chair. Once they had set off, JJ got out a little bag and told Reid to close his eyes. He, of course, was too wary to close his eyes and stared at JJ as she got out her make-up. He jumped up and held out his hands as everyone stared. They knew what JJ was doing, or what she wanted to do, but Reid was having none of it.

“Spence, you’re the one who said you wanted it covered up.” JJ smiled, standing up next to Reid.

“Yeah, not with make-up.” His voice uneven. "I may be involved with a guy, but stereotyping me into wearing make-up is far beyond humane!" 

Hotch rolled his eyes at the comment, "Spencer, shut up."

JJ took a step closer towards the man, but he ducked and ran behind the woman. He was standing next to where Hotch sat, and Hotch stared up at him with amused eyes. “Aaron, come on, help me.” Reid pleaded, looking between his partner and JJ. “You’re the one who got me into this mess – looking at me that way you do. It’s your rise of dopamine levels doing this to me.”

Hotch chuckled in response. JJ then took a step forwards, now with a foundation covered sponge in her hand. She took another step forwards, and then Hotch stood gracefully separating the pair. But, unfortunately for Hotch, JJ lunged the sponge forwards towards Reid at that very moment, and it smacked firmly onto Hotch’s cheek – covering it with foundation. JJ took a step back in shock and the team became silent, Emily and Reid both covering their mouths, and Hotch had his eyes closed.

“Oh, my God.” JJ breathed, taking another step backwards, “Hotch, I am so sorry!” She was trying her hardest not to laugh, but her voice was uneven.

He opened his eyes slowly and released a sigh, his eyes firmly locked onto JJ’s. Emily then reached forward and handed Hotch a tissue, he took it silently and wiped his cheek. The whole team watched with perfect effort not to laugh. Once Hotch was finished and the make-up had been removed, he turned to face Reid. Hotch’s eyes locked on to the younger agent's, and he watched him darkly. Reid stared with wide eyes as Hotch took a step towards the man, resulting in Reid taking a step backwards. Hotch continued to subconsciously push Reid back, until his arms lunged forwards and he pulled Reid into a spare seat. “Hotch?” Reid asked, gulping, with a little voice and a yelp.

The team all leant up to see what was going on and watched with unknowing eyes. Hotch then placed his hand firmly against Reid’s chest, holding him against the chair. “JJ,” he spoke plainly, looking up to the blonde woman.

“Yes, sir?” She asked nervously.

“I think Spencer wants the mark covered up.” He replied darkly, his eyes remained locked on the boy under his grip.

 “What?” Reid asked, panicking, looking between Hotch and JJ – and then to the rest of his team as they stared at him with wide grins.

JJ squeaked happily, before running to the two men. The team all then did what they were wanting to do since the start of the flight, laugh. Excluding Hotch and Reid. Rossi, Emily, JJ and even Morgan lost it, eyes becoming glassy and their stomachs hurt, but they still laughed.

 

“I can’t believe you did that.” Reid said with an annoyed voice, to JJ and Hotch, over the call.

They were all in their SUV’s on the way to their designated destinations. Reid and Rossi were on the way to the M.E., Morgan and Emily were on the way to the dump site, and JJ and Hotch were on the way to the station. They were in a conference call to make sure everyone knew what they were doing, and what they were looking for.

“Did what?” Hotch asked.

“You know what.” Reid muttered, looking out of the window.

Hotch and JJ chuckled, “it’s covered though, isn’t it?” JJ asked.

“Yes.” Reid grumbled, gaining laughs from the rest of the team.

“So, stop complaining,” Hotch spoke, Reid could hear the smile playing upon Hotch’s lips.

“Find someone else to share a room with tonight, Aaron.” Reid replied with a faint smile, unfolding his hands in his lap as he took out his phone from his pocket and looked down to the small screen.

Rossi laughed at the man who sat next to him, “give us a minute, Aaron.” Rossi said, putting themselves on mute.

“Oh, someone’s in trouble.” Emily laughed.

“He’ll be fine.” Hotch smiled.

“No, Hotch, you’re the one in trouble.” Emily said, laughing again.

But then before Hotch could reply, Rossi unmuted himself and Reid, speaking quickly, “yeah, he’s right. Sorry, Aaron, you’re going to have find a new roommate tonight.”

“Ouch.” Morgan laughed.

“Reid, do you want me to explain why we share hotel rooms?” Hotch asked with a dark voice, as he pulled up into the parking lot of the police station.

“What?” Reid spat.

“Right, so, Spencer has this thing…” Hotch began, before Reid loudly interrupted.

“Everyone end the call – now. Hotch, I will crush you.” Reid growled.

The team all groaned, knowing what Hotch was about to admit, and ended the call. Including Rossi, “thank you,” Reid said with a sigh, resting his head back.

“Sure thing, kid.” Rossi chuckled. Honestly, Rossi did it purely for his own sanity. He wasn’t sure how much more of the _lovers squabble_ he could listen to; and he definitely didn’t want to hear about their sex life.

 

Once they were all relocated at the station, and sitting in the conference room, they all spilled to each other what they had found out. Emily spoke first, “the church must be something of sentiment to the unsub. The way the bodies were all placed shows remorse, but they wanted them to be found. If they didn’t, then they would have buried them – they clearly had enough time.”

“Maybe they went back to the bodies, to see what he had done.” JJ noted.

“Makes sense. Some killers would see 29 as a record, or an achievement. Maybe it’s not remorse, maybe it was him showing off?” Morgan spoke.

“Classic narcissist. He wants the control, dominance over his victims.” Hotch mumbled, looking down to the crime scene pictures.

“They were placed on their knees, hands tied back behind their backs and shot in the back of the head. He didn’t want to see their faces whilst they were shot.” Rossi said.

“No, he didn’t want to see it, but what if it’s because he wanted the other victims to?” Reid asked.

“What do you mean?” Emily asked.

“They were all reported missing during the same time period, all within a 23-mile radius. What if the unsub abducted the victims and made them all watch each other die if they didn’t do what he wanted?” Reid replied, looking up to his team.

“What did he want them to do?” Hotch asked.

“Perform.” Reid said.

“Perform what?” Morgan asked.

“Perform sexually. On 17 of the 29 victims, there were signs of them partaking in sexual activity hours leading to their death.” Rossi replied.

“Was it consensual?” Asked Hotch.

“No evidence to prove otherwise, but they might have just been playing along to the unsubs fantasy to ensure they stay alive.” Reid replied.

“Are we sure we’re looking for a man? Maybe it was foreplay turned bad?” Emily asked.

“There’s no way a woman can overpower 29 men during a small amount of time. It’s not even likely a man can do it.” JJ replied.

“So, how did the unsub keep 29 men overpowered and force them to have sex with each other?” Emily muttered.

“There was ketamine in their systems.” Rossi noted.

“All 29?” Morgan asked.

“All but one.” Rossi relied.

“Which one?” Hotch asked.

“Michael Leed, the first victim, he also participated in sexual activity hours leading to his death.” Rossi said.

Hotch nodded and rang Garcia, “I was beginning to think you had all forgotten about me.” She said sadly.

“Garcia, I need you to find out everything you can on Michael Leed, our first victim.” Hotch spoke.

“I’ll have everything before you can say angel, Angel.” Garcia said before ending the call, as she began typing furiously on her computer, finding out anything and everything about the man.

“Why Michael Leed?” JJ asked, she was turned to face Hotch, as the coffee in her hands warmed her.

“He was the first victim, and the only one who wasn’t given an anaesthesia for the abduction and intercourse. That was where the unsub first discovered his M.O., Leed might not be a stranger to the unsub.” Hotch replied.

 

 

The team were exhausted and had stretched their brain’s far enough, Hotch was seconds before suggesting they were to head back to the hotel when he noticed Morgan fixated on something, he had a glint in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. He followed his gaze and saw Reid had fallen asleep in his chair. His tie was wrapped around his hand and he slumped down, so his head was resting against his right hand on the table. His mouth was clamped shut and he was quietly breathing out of his nose. Hotch smiled at the sight, he loved Reid. He loved Reid more than anything, and he was so glad he was able to be with him in the way that he was – but then he could see the way Morgan was also looking at the sleeping man, and it killed him. Hotch knew, he had known from the beginning, that Reid and Morgan had feelings for each other.

“Morgan?” Hotch whispered.

Morgan turned to look at Hotch, “what’s up?”

“Do you mind waking Reid? I think it’s time for us all to get some rest.” He asked.

Morgan blinked before nervously nodding, he stood up and walked over to Reid’s seat. He softly shook his shoulder, “Reid.” Reid carried on to sleep and yanked his tie tighter. Morgan furrowed his eyebrows at the action, before looking to Hotch.

“What is it?” Hotch asked.

“I think he’s having a nightmare.” Morgan replied quietly.

“Again?” Rossi asked, looking to the young man.

“What do you mean?” JJ asked.

“He fell asleep back at the BAU, last week, and he had a nightmare.” Rossi replied.

“And last night,” Hotch spoke quietly. Hotch remembered waking up in the early morning, to Reid’s thrashing arms and muffled sobs. The older man had grown accustomed to Reid’s nightmares and knew what to do in order to help him. But seeing Reid in that way broke his heart. Hotch had spent countless nights staying awake, staring at the man beside him, ensuring himself that he was safe. But that morning, it was different. Reid was calling out for Hotch, begging him to help – crying for him. As soon as Hotch was able to wake Reid and assure him that they were both fine and they were in the safety of Hotch’s apartment, he held him tightly against his chest and listened as Reid’s sobs left him willingly, as his tears soaked Hotch’s bare chest.

Morgan tensed at what Hotch said, but his concern for Reid overwrote the anger. “Has he spoken about it to anyone?” He asked.

Everyone looked around to each other and shook their heads. But then Reid squirmed, as he shivered in his seat. Everyone then looked down to the boy. He shook again, and bit his lip. Hotch then looked down to his watch and counted, the team watched him as he counted to 15. Once the 15 second struck, Hotch walked quickly over to Reid and placed a hand on his back. Morgan moved out of the way and they all watched Hotch and Reid.

“Spencer,” Hotch hummed, rubbing small, comforting circles on his back with his left hand.

Reid squirmed again, more fiercely. His breathing sped up and his hand on the table clenched into a fist. “Please, no.” He whimpered.

Hotch took a deep breath before carefully placing his right hand under Reid’s head and removing Reid’s clenched fist. He stroked his hair with his left hand, “Spencer, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up.”

Reid softened at the touch of Hotch’s hand on his hair, before he whimpered once more. “Get them off me. Please, get them off me.”

“Hotch, what do we do?” Emily asked.

“I can’t wake him suddenly unless it gets too bad. I usually just make him comfortable and wake him softly. Just get your things ready and we’ll leave soon,” Hotch replied softly, keeping his uttermost attention on the boy underneath him, though his eyes quickly zeroed in on his friends, before they were quickly brought back down to Reid. But no one moved, they wanted to make sure their youngest friend was okay. Hotch smiled at their friends, before concentrating back on Reid. “Come on, Spencer.”

Reid’s hand then snapped up to Hotch’s wrist, which rested on his hair, and pulled it down to the table. Hotch stood behind Reid with both of his hands near Reid’s head, it put him a very difficult position in front of his team. Emily and JJ raised their eyebrows at the scene. Reid then pulled Hotch’s hand tightly against his chest and hugged it, “please, don’t take me away. I don't have anyone other than you.”

Each member of the team’s heart hurt at Reid’s sentence, Rossi sat back in his chair with a sad look on his face, JJ and Emily frowned, Morgan took a step back and rested against the desk as he thought of the sadness in Reid’s voice, and Hotch hung tightly on the man.

Hotch pulled backwards, pulling Reid along with him. He was then resting back fully against the chair; the sudden movement and change of temperature woke Reid. Hotch knew this and leant down to place a kiss on top of Reid’s head. The team watched as Reid’s eyes slowly opened and focused on the room around him. “Spencer?” Hotch asked softly, walking to the left side of the man, so Reid was able to see him.

“Aaron?” Reid asked with a tired, quiet voice.

“You had a nightmare.” Hotch replied sadly.

Reid looked at the man with a sad look before rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair. He then looked around the room and saw the rest of the team all staring at him with sad, worried eyes. “Hi.” JJ said softly.

“Hey,” Reid replied with a confused tone.

“You okay, kid?” Morgan asked from behind Hotch.

Reid then turned to look at Morgan, “yeah, are you?”

“I’m fine, kid,” Morgan chuckled.

Reid forced a smile, before once again looking at Hotch. “Hotch?”

“Yes?” He replied softly, as his eyes trained over the boy.

“Can we go to the hotel?” Reid asked with a quiet voice. He could feel his cheeks burning with the colour pink and red. He was embarrassed he had fallen asleep in front of his team, but even more embarrassed he had a nightmare. The last time Reid had a nightmare, not in the safety of Hotch’s or his own room, was at the BAU with Rossi sitting closely by him as he kept him safe.

“Of course,” Hotch smiled.

Reid nodded, thanking him, and slowly stood up. He could feel his friends all still staring at him, and he didn’t know why. Hotch was tightly holding onto his arm, and luckily for him, because Reid then couldn’t focus on anything. His vision became blurry and his chest felt heavy, “Reid?” Hotch asked.

Reid’s weight then fell onto Hotch, as his eyes rolled back. Reid could hear the gasps and could sense the sudden worried tone emerge through his friends, but at that moment, everything became numb and everything became nothing.  “Spencer?” Hotch shouted, gripping tightly onto the man.

Everyone jumped up and ran to Hotch as the unconscious man leant on him. “Reid!” They all shouted.

Hotch knelt to the ground with Reid in his arms, “Spencer, baby, wake up.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

They all waited in the waiting room of the ER, they had been waiting for 2 hours. No one had told them anything and they couldn’t tell why. Morgan was walking nervously around the waiting room; Rossi was sitting in a chair shaking his leg, Emily was watching Morgan, JJ was sitting with her phone being tossed into each of her hands, and Hotch was sitting with his head in his hands. They needed news, and quick.

And soon enough, a doctor came in. He was an older man with his glasses pushed up into his silver hair. “Agents?” He asked. His left hand was stuffed into his pocket, as he fiddled with a pen in his left pocket – he was nervous. His right hand held Reid’s clipboard, and his own notepad was balancing on top.

The team all looked up before quickly standing and walking up to the doctor. “What happened?” JJ asked.

“He has ketamine in his system.” The doctor replied, looking to his notes.

“What?” Rossi asked.

“Ketamine was found in his blood. It’s not clear how it was administered. He will need to stay the night for observation, and will be released in the morning.” The doctor said, nodding. He knew it was none of his business really, but how did an FBI agent manage to have ketamine in his system? He thought. Weren’t the agents supposed to be stopping the bad guys, and helping victims – not becoming a victim themselves?

“Hotch, the case?” Emily said quietly. They had all been thinking it from the moment the doctor had said ketamine was in his system. Reid had brown hair, was in his mid – late twenties, and now had ketamine in his system.

Hotch gulped with concern and worry, before asking, “can we see him?” Though his face remained as still and unaffected as ever.

“Yes, follow me,” said the man, before leading the agents to Reid’s room.

The doctor opened the door, before gasping. “What?” Hotch asked before pushing fully into the room.

The bed was empty. The room was empty.

Hotch lost his breath and the rest of the team then followed in, seeing the same thing. “Where is he?” Morgan asked loudly.

“Shit.” Hotch shouted, kicking the bed.

But before anyone could say anything, a door was opened. They all turned to face the noise and saw Reid in a mid-yawn, as he looked startled at the group. “What are you doing in here?” He asked, coming out of the bathroom.

“You son of a bitch,” Hotch gasped, before running to Reid. He grabbed him and pulled him into a very tight hug. Reid awkwardly hugged back and tapped the man’s back. Hotch dug his head in the crook of Reid’s neck, thanking every God there was that Reid was okay.

“What’s going on?” Reid asked, as Hotch pulled away.

“You need to stay in bed, Agent Reid.” The doctor ordered.

“ _Doctor_ Reid,” said each of the team, all relieved to see the younger agent.

The doctor looked startled at the sudden voices, and quickly nodded, “right. Doctor Reid, please get back into bed.” Hotch peeled himself away from in front of the younger man and guided him to his bed, keeping his eyes glued onto him. Morgan’s eyes were also glued onto the man. For the past 2 hours, he had never been so worried. He didn’t know what to do, he felt useless, he felt as if he couldn’t help the man he loved. Morgan had nearly succumbed to tears at least 3 times, one time being when they entered the room and Reid wasn’t to be seen. He couldn’t stand to imagine what he would have done if Reid hadn’t come out of the bathroom, he shuddered at the thought and was then brought back to reality once he heard the room door shut as the doctor left. The team all stood around Reid’s bed, closely watching him.

“Okay, guys, relax.” Reid said, noticing them all stare at him as if he was going to disappear.

“Why was there ketamine in your system?” Hotch asked.

“I don’t know,” Reid shrugged.

“Reid.” Hotch replied sternly.

“I don’t know,” Reid said again, with more feeling in his voice. Because, honestly, Reid didn’t know – for the first time in forever. Reid didn’t have a clue as to what was going on. Before he passed out and before he had fallen asleep, Reid’s head was throbbing and violently fitting; but he genuinely didn’t have an answer to why.

“Two of us will stay with you tonight.” Rossi said from beside Hotch.

“What? No, I’m fine.” Reid said loudly, trying to sit up.

Hotch pushed the boy back down, “Spencer, two or all of us.”

Hotch eyed Reid, telling him exactly what Reid didn’t want to hear. Since they’re _arrangement_ had begun, Reid had learnt a lot about his partner and boss. One of the many things he had learnt was that when Hotch looked at Reid with _that_ look, he had no chance of changing his mind. Reid looked at the man with a defeated look, “fine.”

“I’ll stay,” Hotch said looking to the rest of his team, no one decided against it as they quickly saw Reid’s face light up.

“Me too,” JJ said.

“No, JJ, you need some rest.” Reid replied with a tired voice.

“Spence, I’ll be fine.” JJ replied, noticing Reid’s own tiredness.

“He’s right, I’ll stay.” Morgan said with a nod.

“Are you sure?” Hotch asked with a quiet voice. Hotch felt a tinge of jealousy spur throughout him, as he saw Morgan’s eyes sparkle as he looked towards the man in the bed.

“Yeah,” Morgan nodded once again, his eyes dimming as they fell back onto Hotch.

“Okay. The rest of you, head back to the hotel and get some sleep. We’ll meet you at the station in the morning once Reid can leave.” Hotch said.

Emily, JJ and Rossi all nodded and said their goodbyes to Reid, and then Hotch and Morgan before heading out and to their hotel. It was now 3am, and everyone was so tired. Especially Reid. His whole body felt numb, and his eyes were slowly closing.

“Get some rest, Spencer.” Hotch said softly, as he and Morgan both sat on chairs either side of Reid’s bed, taking his hand softly.

“Goodnight, kid.” Morgan said, just as soft.

And with their soothing voices, Reid fell asleep. Once the two men were sure that he was asleep, they sighed. “How do you think it got into his system?” Morgan whispered.

“I’m not sure. I’m just hoping it’s not as bad as I think.” Hotch replied.

“Me too,” Morgan gulped.

“He’ll be safe here. There’s two agents here, constant security and security cameras.” Hotch noted, assuring himself and Morgan.

“Yeah,” Morgan sighed, rubbing his eyes as they rubbed harshly against his eyelids.

The two men were strained with each other, and both knew why. Most of their conversations were forced apart from when it was related to the case, or Reid’s well-being. And therefore, the two men hardly spoke. They spoke when it was necessary and that was it. Hotch sighed and swallowed his pride, before speaking, “I’ll take first shift. You can sleep.”

“it’s fine, you seem more worried. You sleep.” Morgan smiled slightly.

“I think you’re just as worried,” Hotch replied with a little chuckle. In his mind, Hotch knew what he said could have came across as a subtle dig at the darker man. But he didn’t mean it in that way, not entirely, and his body relaxed once he realised Morgan hadn’t took it that way either.

Morgan laughed and nodded, “fair game.”

Hotch smiled, “why don’t we just go over the case for a little while?”

“That’s fine with me,” Morgan said quietly as they tried not to wake the boy in the bed.

 

Hotch’s head felt fuzzy and his eyes were heavy, his eyes were closed and Hotch knew he had fallen asleep. He recalled himself and Morgan talking about the case way into the early hours of the morning, and they both nodded off at the same time. Hotch sighed and slowly opened his eyes, focusing on the room and lights, he stretched his back before setting his eyes on the bed in front of him. It was empty. Hotch furrowed his eyebrows and looked towards Morgan who was asleep.

“Morgan,” Hotch said with a tired voice.

He didn’t stir, so Hotch repeated his name, louder this time. And, Morgan quickly woke up. His eyes and face alert. He looked around the room before his eyes finally settling on Hotch. “Hotch?” He asked, finally relaxing.

“Where’s Reid?” Hotch asked.

Morgan looked confused at the man for a second or two, before he quickly looked at the empty bed. The blanket was messily placed on the thin mattress and there was a small piece of paper tucked underneath the pillow. Morgan furrowed his eyebrows at the paper, before standing up and reaching towards it. Hotch’s eyes followed him closely, but something in his gut told him something was wrong. Morgan slowly unfolded the paper and noticed there was writing on it. His tired eyes focused on the words and his heart broke. His breathing became rapid and in small breaths, he re-read the note repeatedly. Hotch saw Morgan’s state and quickly stood up, “Morgan, what is it?”

His eyes shot to Hotch’s and with a shaking hand, he passed the note over to Hotch.

_If the two men who love him most can’t save him._

_Who can?_

Hotch stared at the note with disbelief. He could feel his heart slamming against his chest. Hotch’s face remained still and steady, but Morgan could see right through it. Hotch was feeling the exact same, if not more, than Morgan. Morgan was showing how he was feeling other than keeping it inside, well, he kept some of it inside. “Hotch, what the hell do we do?” Morgan asked with an uneven voice.

“We get back to the team, connect this to the murders of the 29 men and find Reid,” he spoke steadily, before looking to Morgan with dead eyes, “then we sue the fuck out of this hospital.”

Morgan nodded as he shook, and then the two men quickly ran out of the room demanding the security tapes and answers as they ran. The doctors and security had sworn to send all what was needed to the FBI’s TA Penelope Garcia, and were furiously apologising. Of course, they were too angry to accept _any_ apologies – before they quickly made their way back to the station and explained everything to the team. Once they had shown them the note, everything became clear to some members of the team on why Morgan had been acting so weird recently, but they saved the conversation for another day as they quickly became immersed back into the case. Garcia was on loud speaker as they all spoke and put their minds together, trying their hardest to replace Reid in their own minds. Even all the cops in the station were on high alert, trying to help find the missing agent. Even the Captain, who was obviously very fond over the young man.

The captain was quite older than Reid, 34, and had blond hair which was pushed back into a quiff as it sat carefully on his head. He had blue eyes and was originated from Britain, London to be exact. He had lived there until he was 24 and moved to Georgia, to get a better job and more of a better life. His name was Christopher Poole, but his teammates and friends usually called him Poole.

“So, the unsub, why would he take Doctor Reid?” Poole asked, sitting nervously at the table as the agents walked around the room trying to figure everything out.

Hotch turned to face the sitting down man, “he’s an attractive young man, brown hair, appears single and doesn’t looks as much of a threat to people around him when he is not with his team or has a gun.”

“ _Appears_ single?” Poole asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Morgan then turned around with narrowed eyes to look at the man, and Hotch did the same. “You’re not interested in Reid, are you?” Morgan asked.

Poole stared at the man with wide eyes and words spat out of his mouth, “huh, what? I’m not, you know, haha. No, maybe? Let’s just drop this.”

Poole looked between Hotch and Morgan nervously, as they both stared at the man with wide and narrow eyes. “Fine. Yes, Doctor Reid is a very attractive man. I wouldn’t see anything wrong with things progressing in the future.” Poole said with a thoughtful look.

“Alright, well that’s enough. We need to find Reid; not talk about any future partners he may have.” Hotch spoke with a tensed jaw.

Poole quickly nodded and stood up, he made his way to the evidence board and stared at all the clues they had. But his mind was somewhere else, he then turned to face Hotch, who was still staring at him. “What about previous partners?”

“Hey, man, back off.” Morgan said with a hoarse voice.

Poole was then about to speak, but Hotch jumped in with a concentrated look on his face, “wait.”

The rest of the team all turned to look at Hotch as they watched the motor in his brain run, “what is it, Aaron?” Rossi asked.

“Previous partners,” Hotch muttered under his breath, as he thought.

They all watched him as he closed his eyes and thought very carefully. They gave him the time to think and soon enough, Hotch opened his eyes and it was as if the whole world was held inside them. “Reid’s previous partner, who happened to ring him when we arrived in Texas. Who just happened to have Reid’s phone number, and who had kept tabs on since they were in college together.”

“Jack?” Emily asked.

“He was trying to send him a message, that’s why he left all the bodies out to show. Jack was trying to get to him.” Rossi spoke.

The team thought for a second before JJ spoke, “it’s Jack.”

“Garcia!” Morgan said loudly, as he walked back to the table where the phone sat, “work some magic for me baby girl. Find everything out on this Jack.”

“Do you have a last name?” Garcia asked.

Hotch sighed, “no last name. But he did go to college with Reid, they worked some jobs together and he moved to Texas around 10 years ago.”

“I need more,” Garcia spoke as she furiously typed on her computer.

“There may have been stalker complaints made about him. His father may have left him as a child, he would have committed adultery and ran off with the mistress, or even another man.” Emily replied, as everyone crowded around the table and the phone.

“Keep it coming, sugar. I have 14 on my list.” Garcia replied.

“Steady job. He must have an isolated property, miles within the geography profile, somewhere big enough to hide 29 men and not have anyone find or hear them.” JJ spoke.

Garcia typed for a few more seconds, before she jumped up in excitement, “got it! I’ve got it. Jack Lester, I’ll send you the address.”

“Thanks, baby girl. I owe you big time.” Morgan let out a relieved sigh.

“You can repay me with bringing my baby boy back home and safe.” Garcia replied happily before ending the call.

“Let’s go.” Hotch rushed.

The team all nodded and ran out of the station, prepping themselves and the cops who were helping.

 

Reid awoke with a headache; his limbs were aching terribly and his throat was sore. He tried to lift his arm to rub the burning pain away from his temple, but his arms were too weak. Reid slowly opened his eyes, he had expected to hear the beeping of monitors and see the bright lights of the clean hospital, but he found neither. Instead, he opened his eyes and saw darkness. He could make out the white, hard cement that he sat on. He was sitting with his legs stretched out before him and his head leaning down so his chin rested securely on his chest. Reid slowly raised his head and looked around him, he squinted his eyes and saw metal bars 3 metres in front of him, securely locking him in a tight box. “What?” He whispered, “where am I?”

“You’re home.” A soft voice spoke.

Reid looked around the cell he sat in and saw no one else in there with him, the voice came from outside of the cell. “Who’s there?” He asked.

“It’s me.” The voice spoke, coming closer.

He could hear heavy, slow footsteps come closer towards him and his heart raced. The footsteps came towards him with a constant pace, and it caused fear to erupt into Reid’s body. “Who’s me?” He asked.

“How could you forget my voice, honey?” The man laughed darkly.

Reid narrowed his eyes at the word ‘ _honey_ ’, he didn’t know what to do – or what to reply. So, instead, he listened to the footsteps come to a stop. He raised his head to look straight out of the cell and saw him. He saw Jack. “Jack?” He asked with a shocked voice.

“Hi,” he smiled with a wave.

“What are you doing?” Reid asked, his eyes straining to see the figure in the dark.

“I brought you home.” Jack replied.

“Home?” Reid shook his head, his skin shuddered at the word and his heart tightened in his chest.

“Yes, home. I built this all for you. I did everything for you.” Jack grinned.

Reid thought for a moment, his mind was a lot foggier and busy than usual, so it took the man a while longer than usual for him to figure everything out. And soon enough, his mind had unraveled everything. He sighed disappointingly in himself, before leaning back and resting his head on the cold wall behind him. “You killed those men.”

“I needed to see you again, Spencer.” Jack replied.

Reid shook his head weakly, “not like this, Jack.”

Jack looked shocked, and a little angry at his statement. “Aren’t you glad with what I did?”

Reid’s mind was too foggy for him to even think of a reply that could help save him, the drugs were playing a too big part on their behalf. “Let me go.” He mumbled.

“What?” Jack growled, staring into the cell with angry eyes and a tense jaw.

“Let me go!” Reid gasped, his breath was caught in his throat and his whole body tense as he sat on the uncomfortable ground.

Jack growled angrily, “are you not going to do what I say?”

“No.” Reid replied weakly. Reid was a profiler, he knew what to do. But there was no strength within the man, he was so tired.

Jack threw his hand onto the bars and the man listened as the cackling noise echoed throughout the cell, he unlocked the door with a shaking hand and walked into the cell. He stalked into the back and towered over Reid’s cowering body. Reid’s drug induced state caused tremors all over his body, the fear also wasn’t helping the shaking boy. Jack leant down and pulled Reid up, Reid squirmed in his grip, but Jack was too strong.

Reid knew what was going to happen, even in his drugged state, he knew that once someone had found their most prized possession – they did everything to make sure they were claimed theirs. That was until they either got bored and wanted a new _plaything_ or they died by suicide – and Reid wasn’t particularly interested in finding out how his story ended.

“Let’s take this to our room.” Jack purred in Reid’s ear.

Reid’s eyes fell open in shock and his heart drummed against his chest, “no, please, God, no.”

Jack smiled and picked Reid up, holding him bridal style. Reid weakly thrashed in the man’s arms, but still he held him tightly against him. He whispered and tutted in his ear, causing Reid’s body to shake in even more fear. As Jack carried him out of his cell, Reid saw he was being held in a barn. His mind was too busy to even think of what to do.

Once they were in the house, Jack turned and locked the back door. He carried Reid to his room and placed him softly on the bed, he held him down with his knee on his chest, before he reached under his bed and picked up 7 pieces of rope. Jack tied the struggling man down, “please, Jack. I’m begging you. Don’t do this.” Reid whimpered. His eyes weren’t focusing on the room around him, and his mind wasn’t focusing on how to get out. The only thing he could focus on was the man on top of him.

 Jack straddled Reid and raised a finger to the boy under him, silencing him. “Come on, baby, don’t be scared.”

Reid stared up to the man with tearful eyes. He couldn’t think, his beating heart was too loud. Jack leant down and pressed a slow kiss to the man’s neck. Reid shuddered in fear and repulsion, closing his eyes tightly shut.

 

“Is everyone clear on what to do?” Hotch asked over the phone.

“Yes, sir,” spoke the worried voices of his friends.

“Good.” He said with a sigh.

They were all on their way to Jack’s location and were clearly breaking the speed limit, even for the FBI. The cops were on their tale and had direct connection with the agents from Poole, as he shared the SUV with Hotch and Emily. They were 7 minutes away and were all praying that Reid was well and okay. Morgan’s heart was beating with worry and fear, whilst Hotch’s heart was beating with anger and rage. No one spoke as they drove, no one knew what to say as all their thoughts were on their youngest friend. And soon enough, they were at the location. There was a small house at front, and a very large barn behind it. Hotch, Emily and Rossi took the front of the house, whilst Morgan, Poole and JJ took the back. Hotch kicked in the front door, as Morgan slowly crept in from the back. Hotch and his small group shouted, “FBI,” as they stormed into the house.

Once voices from the bottom floor commented, “clear,” JJ and Rossi stalked their way up the stairs. Guns in hand, they carefully entered every room, shouting they were clear before they both reached the bedroom. They both nodded at each other before Rossi threw the door open, revealing a Reid-and-Jack-free room. But as they walked more into the room, JJ noticed the bed. “Oh, God.” She muttered loudly, as she stared.

Rossi quickly joined her and closed his eyes in grimace as he took in the site. The white sheet was stained red. Fresh blood stained the pillow and the top of the sheet, as more blood stained the sheet further down. There was also water staining the pillow, tear stains. “Hotch!” Rossi yelled, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“They’re in the barn!” Hotch shouted up the stairs, “we’ll get forensics to go over the house when we’ve got Reid.”

JJ’s tearful eyes looked towards Rossi, as he stared back at her. “Oh, Aaron,” Rossi muttered under his breath. Rossi wanted nothing more than to shout Hotch up and show him the extent of Reid’s capture, but he also knew that getting Reid back was firstly more important. “Come on, let’s go get Reid,” Rossi nodded sadly, leading him and JJ back out of the room and quickly running back down to the rest of their team.

They all then ran to the barn, stopping as they reached the doors, they listened carefully. “Spencer, don’t cry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, it’s okay,” they heard Jack speak with a soft yet overpowering voice.

Morgan tensed his jaw, and Hotch’s eyes narrowed. The two men looked at each other before looking at the rest of their friends and nodding. Morgan and Hotch both kicked the barn doors open and they all held up their guns, as they stormed into the barn. Eyes were quickly zeroed in on Jack and Reid.

The whole team watched as they saw Jack quickly jump up and hold Reid tightly against him with a gun pressed to his neck. They looked at Reid and saw the emptiness in his eyes, blood was dripping from his lip and neck, blood dripping from bite marks. Morgan gasped in pain as he looked at the boy.

“Reid?” JJ whimpered.

Reid looked up and looked at his friends, but he felt himself look straight through them. His mind was burning with the memories of what Jack did, and the images that would never leave him.

“Put your weapon down.” Hotch growled.

“No! You’ll take him away from me.” Jack cried, pulling Reid closer to him.

“No, we just want to talk.” Rossi spoke with a stern tone, yet remaining soft as he tried to calm the man.

“I don’t believe you!” Jack shouted, his eyes were furiously scanning the agents as he struggled to hold Reid’s body in his arms; even though Reid had hardly moved.

“Look, he’s bleeding, we just want to see if he’s okay.” Emily replied, slowly dropping her gun to her side as she put it away, trying to reason with the man that held their friend.

Jack looked to the bleeding man’s face and wiped the blood that was dripping down onto his chin. “Spencer, tell them you’re okay.” He said with a quiet growl.

Reid didn’t reply, instead he looked straight ahead and stared at the barn door that was swinging open and shut. Jack shook the man by his shoulders, gaining worried gasps from the agents. Still, Reid didn’t reply.

“Spencer?” Jack asked, pulling the gun slightly away from the man’s head.

“Put the gun down!” Hotch yelled angrily.

“Wait!” Jack shouted at the man.

The team then watched as Jack turned to face the dead looking man, Reid’s view of the barn door was then blocked by Jack, “Spencer, what’s wrong?”

Reid’s eyes flickered down to Jack’s and all the memories of what he did rushed back into his mind. But, before Jack said anything else, Reid grabbed the man’s right wrist and quickly spun him around, forcing his hand securely behind his back. The team watched in shock as Reid grabbed the gun out of his hand and pushed him down onto the floor, all within 4 seconds – and with the plainest and emptiest look on his face. He stood on the man’s leg, as Jack screeched in pain, before Reid crouched down to Jack’s ear and whispered, “all you had to do was ask.”

Jack looked up with a confused expression, before Reid stood back up and watched as his team ran to the two men; he threw the gun a few feet away from Jack. Rossi and Emily forcefully grabbed the man off the floor, deliberately hurting him, and walked him out of the barn. JJ, Morgan, Hotch and Poole all ran to Reid – but it was as if he hadn’t noticed them.

“Spence?” JJ asked. But Reid ignored her, he made his way through the 4 people crowding him and walked out of the barn, not once looking or acknowledging the existence of his friends.

“Hotch, what did he do to him?” Morgan asked with an uneven voice, and a knot in his stomach.

They all watched as Reid slowly walked with a limp as he held his ribs. “I don’t know,” Hotch breathed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not enough time to proof read, so sorry!

Reid hadn’t spoken a word since he had whispered in Jack’s ear. Not even when the medic forced him into the ambulance, not even when his friends asked if he wanted them there. And not even when he was examined by the doctor. He kept his gaze straight, his mouth locked and his mind focused on what Jack did. His friends, and even the doctors, were worried about him.

The team sat in the waiting room for the news on their friend, and the same doctor from the night before walked in. “Agents,” he said.

They all stood up and quickly walked up to the man, “déjà vu, right, Doc?” Morgan said. Morgan’s heart was thumping violently in his chest as his lips forced a somewhat smile upon his face.

The doctor smiled for a couple of seconds, before it dropped along with Morgan’s. “Doctor Reid has no cracked ribs, like we had originally thought. He was repeatedly, um,” the doctor began, before looking down to the floor. The team held their breaths as they all watched with wide eyes and wild hearts. The doctor took a deep breath, before looking back up with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, this was one of the worst cases I’ve seen in a while. He was repeatedly raped. Severely beaten.” His voice was serious and steady, but his face denied any sense of calmness – the doctor felt terrible for Reid, and seeing the faces of the people before him, made it worse, so much worse.

The team all stared at the doctor with wide, worried eyes. “What?” JJ whispered. JJ had saw the bed, but there was something in her mind telling her that it didn’t happen, that it wasn’t Reid’s blood – but hearing it from the doctor, it broke her heart. Thoughts were swarming around in her mind as everything around them then silence; it was only them. It was only them, the doctor, Reid and the man who caused this.

“I’m sorry. His physical wounds will heal, with the exception of scaring, but emotionally, I’m not sure. He hasn’t said a word since he came in, or even looked anywhere else other than straight ahead. I’ve treated Agent Reid before, and I’ve spoken to him. I highly suggest I’m the one who psychologically examines him,” the doctor said with a frown. His eyes were tracing around the group of FBI agents as his heart pounded.

JJ moved back and found a seat, she quickly sat down and her head fell into her hands. A few silent tears fell from her eyes, as Emily found herself doing the exact same. Rossi was standing still with his eyes closed, too afraid to open them, in case the tears fell. Morgan had tears threatening to fall, and was standing staring at the doctor in disbelief. And Hotch was staring at the doctor with his whole body shaking.

“He may not want visitors. But you can try?” The doctor spoke, finally, with a sympathetic smile.

“Can we?” JJ said with an uneven voice, looking up to the man.

“Yes, please, follow me.” He replied softly, pushing his hair back with a sad sigh.

JJ and Emily quickly stood, and themselves and Rossi quickly followed the doctor, before they all stopped and realised that Morgan nor Hotch had moved.

“Guys?” Emily asked, with tears rolling down her tear stained cheeks.

Hotch and Morgan stared with fearful expressions, tears threatening to escape. “Come on,” Rossi said to Hotch, as he softly grabbed his arm and pulled him towards Reid’s room. And Emily did the same with Morgan.

 

Once they were at the room, the doctor knocked softly before opening the door. He pushed his head through the small crack of the door, and looked in. “Doctor Reid, there are some people who want to see you.”

Reid made no movement or any acknowledgement about what the doctor had said, and so the doctor sighed and fully opened the door, allowing his friends in. “I’m going to keep him overnight for observation, and to see what we need to or do or what we can do to help.” The doctor said, before JJ thanked him and he walked out, leaving the team alone.

Once the door was shut, the 5 all turned slowly to face the man who lay staring in front of him. With shaking legs, they all walked up to his bedside. Rossi was the first to speak with a quiet, uneven voice, “how are you feeling, Reid?”

Reid didn’t reply, he kept his eyes fixated ahead of him. Rossi then slowly leant forward and placed his hand on Reid’s shoulder supportively. As soon as Rossi’s hand met Reid’s shoulder, Reid shook in pain violently, and closed his eyes. “Spencer?” Hotch asked quickly. Everyone braced themselves and stared intently at the boy on the bed, his eyes shut and lips pursed.

Hotch quickly moved otchHothvvdto where Rossi stood and removed his hand, “I’m sorry, Spencer,” Hotch said before carefully moving Reid’s gown from his shoulder. Hotch let out a pained breath, as well as the rest of the team, as they saw the printed bite mark on his shoulder. Reid then shot his eyes open and they fell onto his partners.

“Why didn’t you let him?” Reid whispered under his breath.

“What do you mean, Spencer?” Hotch asked, shocked at the hoarse voice that escaped his partner.

The team watched with scared eyes.

“Why didn’t you let him shoot me?” Reid replied, just as quiet as before.

Hotch took a step back in shock and stared at the man he loved. JJ let out a shaky breath, causing Reid to turn to look at her. “Jennifer.”

“Hey, Spence.” She cried softly.

“Why are you crying?” He whispered.

JJ smiled sadly and stroked Reid’s hair away from his eyes, “I’m just glad you’re here with us.”

Reid shuddered at the words, before turning his head to look straight ahead once again. “I’m glad you’re here with me,” Reid mumbled under his breath, as he friends worriedly watched him, “that’s what he said to me.”

Hotch growled in anger, “I’m gonna kill that bastard.” He turned and headed straight for the door, before he was quickly called back by Reid.

“Aaron, please don’t leave me.” Reid whimpered.

Hotch’s heart broke at the words and he quickly made his way back to Reid’s side, he slowly leant down and placed a soft kiss on the man’s forehead. Reid gulped, trying his hardest to swallow the lump in his throat. He was glad Hotch was there – he was glad all his friends were there.  Once Hotch’s lips were removed from his head, Reid looked to his left and saw Morgan standing in between JJ and Emily. He had tears in his eyes, and even a couple had escaped down to his cheeks.

“I’m okay, Derek.” Reid croaked.

JJ moved out of the way of Morgan, and Morgan stood as close as possible to the man. Another tear escaped his eye, before he leant down and hugged Reid. Reid jumped at the sudden impact. The team quickly took a step forward at the sudden movement to protect Reid, but he didn’t move. Derek clung tightly onto the man, and Reid slowly closed his eyes before raising both of his shaking arms to hug the man back. Reid buried his head into the crook of Derek’s neck, and he could feel the tears soaking his neck – but he didn’t care, he just wanted to be there for his best friend. “I’m so sorry, kid.” Derek muttered repeatedly.

 

They had decided to let Reid sleep, they knew he was slowly losing himself again – and they just wanted him to be okay, so the team all slept out in the waiting room, giving him the space he needed. No one wanted to leave him again. The next morning, Hotch had decided that it was best if they all went straight back home to D.C., and so they patiently waited for Reid’s doctor to tell them Reid was in the clear. Hotch and JJ were the first to awake, Morgan was also awake but that was because he hadn’t slept.

“How do you think he’s doing?” JJ asked quietly, as she didn’t want to wake Rossi or Emily.

Hotch gulped sadly, “he’ll be okay.” His eyes were trained securely on the door of the waiting room, his heart pounding. Hotch’s brain was working on overdrive, trying to think of the ways he could have helped Reid, but he was too distracted – the image of Reid in that barn was corrupting his mind, corrupting his thoughts, corrupting his heart.

“Did you guys see him when we first went into the room? It’s like he wasn’t there.” Morgan mumbled, he looked down to his hands thoughtfully, not being able to forget Reid’s face when they saw him with Jack. Morgan knew, _he just knew_ , those nightmares he had finally gotten over after all of these years, were going to come back. But this time, he wouldn’t be able to talk to Hotch, and especially not Gideon. He didn’t have anyone. The one person he thought would always be there, the one person that he thought would never get hurt, was lying in a hospital bed forever traumatized.

“I was so scared,” JJ replied with tears forming in her eyes.

Hotch and Morgan nodded in agreement and they all silently looked to the floor and thought about Reid. It wasn’t for another half an hour that Emily and Rossi stirred awake, and JJ and Morgan decided to make a run for coffee. “How are you holding up?” JJ asked, as they filled the to-go mugs. Regardless of how many times the agents had consumed hospital coffee, they could never get over the _vile_ taste. The coffee was always either too strong or not strong enough, which left the most horrendous taste in the agent’s mouths.

“I’m doing good. You?” Morgan lied, as he looked down to the black coffee which he poured.

“Morgan,” JJ said with a knowing tone, tilting her head to the side.

Morgan sighed sadly, before looking at the blonde woman. “I love him, JJ, and I just want to be there for him. But I’m too late.”

JJ blew out her breath from her nose and put a lid on two of the mugs, “you _can_ be there for him. And I know he wants you to be, right now, that’s all he wants. He doesn’t want to be stuck in a love triangle between his friend and boss, he loves you both. And now, he just needs his friends.”

Morgan nodded with a slight smile, and helped JJ carry the 5 cups of coffee back to their team. Once they arrived back in the waiting room, they saw the doctor talking to their friends. They all had glum expressions, and Morgan and JJ knew something was wrong. They quickly rushed over and stood near the doctor. “What’s going on?” JJ asked, handing out the coffee.

“Reid’s become unresponsive again.” Hotch replied with a straight face, though is face remained steady, his friends could see right through his eyes. Hotch tried so hard to be okay, to seem as if nothing was or could affect him – but it was. It was tearing him apart, and he just wanted Reid to assure him everything was going to be okay, he just wanted to hear Reid.

“Why?” Morgan asked.

“It’s Spencer’s way of dealing with the trauma, I’m not sure on how long this period will last. But we have tested all the possible tests, and Spencer is well enough to go home. If we have word from him, we can discharge him.” The doctor said with a sad tone, “he can have visitors, but I think it would be best if it’s only one at a time – we don’t want him overwhelmed more than he already is.”

“Thank you,” the team all said with a sad smile and nod.

The doctor nodded in response, before turning on his heel and shoving his hands into his pockets of his white coat, and walking away from the group, leaving the team stranded. But before anyone could speak, Captain Poole quickly rushed into the waiting room, “hi,” he breathed.

“Poole,” Hotch said, offering his hand out to the man. As the team of agents watched the meeting, their eyes all fell down to Hotch’s outstretched hand. It shook violently. His body was betraying his face, and everyone knew it.

“Agent. I Just came to check on Doctor Reid.” Poole replied shaking Hotch’s hand, then shaking Rossi’s and Morgan’s hand, and giving the two women a polite nod.

“He’s unresponsive at the moment, but he’s able to go home soon.” Emily replied, his eyes full of worry and concern, which Poole’s mirrored.

“It’s probably the hospital,” Poole looked around with an audible fearful gulp, “it’s such a depressing place.” And Poole was right, the hospital did shout melancholia. The walls were painted with a beige, sickly colour and the lights hung with a slow buzzing sound. Everything around them seemed so empty, and colourless.

Morgan tensed his jaw, “he never liked hospitals.”

“The sooner we get him home, the better.” Rossi said with a thoughtful nod.

“Have you all been to see him?” Poole asked.

“We did last night, he wasn’t great, but he was talking. We left him to sleep, but now the doctor is saying he’s not talking again.” JJ frowned sadly.

“It must be the way he copes. I don’t blame him, it’s absolutely awful what has happed to him. No one on this planet deserves that, especially not such an innocent soul like him,” Poole muttered sadly, with a frown and a shake of his head. He found the whole situation completely unjust. The team nodded along with him, and matched his frowns. “After everyone sees him, would it be alright if I quickly pop in? I just want to see him before I go.” Poole asked, shaking the thoughts of the world out of his mind, his British accent dripping through.

“Of course,” Hotch said with a smile plastered on his face. Hotch did feel a slight tinge of jealousy as the man desperately wanted to see _his_ boyfriend, but he knew it wasn’t the time nor the place.

“Thank you,” Poole smiled.

Hotch blinked at the man before he turned to face his team, “who wants to see him first?”

Morgan stood up straight and smiled slightly, “I think JJ needs to see him.”

JJ quickly shot a glance at Morgan, before smiling. Hotch nodded and the team, and Poole, watched as JJ walked out of the waiting room and towards Reid’s room. The rest of the team sat back down and waited patiently, and nervously, for their turn. Poole blinked at the ground for a moment, before excusing himself and walking towards the coffee machine. The team who remained seated, all took a gulp of their own coffee and thought silently on Reid, and if JJ could get to him.

 

JJ knocked softly on the door, she heard no reply but decided to push the door open. Once the door was wide enough for her to fit through, she looked into the room and saw Reid laying with his eyes wide open and fixated on the ceiling above him. He was breathing at a constant pace, but sweat was dripping down his forehead. JJ smiled sadly at the view of the obviously troubled young man, and she slowly walked into the room – closing the door behind her. Once JJ was standing as close as she could to Reid, she spoke softly, “hey, Spence.”

Reid made no movement to prove to JJ that he knew she was there, JJ didn’t know what to do or what to say. “Spence, it’s me, JJ. Your doctor said that you can come home,” her eyes tearing up, “but you need to tell him that you want to go home, Spence. He needs to see that you’re going to be okay.” JJ watched the boy’s face for any recognition, but none was made. His eyes were dull and bloodshot. His lips were stretched into a straight line and his skin tone was a sickly, pale complexion. JJ wished to see his smile, to hear a statistic, a statistic that sometimes people quite enjoyed and found interesting, though it was never admitted. A tear escaped her eye and rolled quickly down her cheek “please say something.”

She waited and waited, but still the boy didn’t reply. His eyes never moved from the crack in the ceiling, even JJ had stared at it for a couple of seconds before her eyes landed back onto the damaged boy. Soon enough, JJ sighed sadly. “The other’s want to see you now, but I’ll be back, okay? We can go home and watch Doctor Who and binge out on pizza. We’ll make a night of it, okay, Spencer?” She stood up and leant down, softly pressing a kiss to Reid’s forehead, “I love you.” JJ sighed sadly as he didn’t reply, and then walked out of the room, looking back to Reid as she opened the door. She didn’t want to leave him, but she knew that the rest of their friends also wanted to see him. As soon as she entered the waiting room, her friends stood. They watched with sad eyes as she wiped her tears, JJ shook her head, telling them all that they needed to know.

“Still nothing?” Morgan asked, his emotions splattering across his face.

“He won’t even look at me,” JJ said under her breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

 

And soon, it was Rossi’s turn. He had spoken to Reid, reminding him that there was a convention that Reid and Garcia were planning on going to; and that he couldn’t miss it. Rossi also tried his hardest to talk about something of interest for the boy, but he still didn’t move. He spoke of his books; knowing how much they interested the boy, he spoke of Halloween and how he was planning a party that year, and that he was definitely invited – though, only if he didn’t try to scare his guests.

Emily was next, and she tried her hardest to tell him that none of what happened was his fault, and that he shouldn’t blame himself. A few tears rolled down her cheek as she pleaded for Reid to talk to her, even just look at her. But he didn’t, he didn’t do anything. Reid was trapped in his own mind, and honestly, he felt safer there. Even with the cries and pleas from his friends, he didn’t want to risk getting hurt again.

Something in Reid wanted to scream and shout out to his friends, as he banged on the locked cage in his mind. He wanted to get out, he wanted help – but he felt too safe. He was locked and only the deepest part of him held the key. And that was until he heard Morgan’s voice.

“Reid?” Morgan’s voice cracked. Reid’s heart beat faster, and he knew Morgan could tell as the BPM monitor’s beeping quickened. “Reid, it’s me, Morgan.” Morgan spoke again, as he looked at the monitor before looking back at Reid. “I want you to be okay, kid. I need you to be okay, but I know that’s impossible right now. But we’re here for you. I’m here for you.” Reid felt his head spin and stomach churn. “Please wake up,” Morgan’s voice quietened as a tear rolled down his cheek, “I need you with me, Spencer. Please.” His heart broke at the sentence, but he didn’t know what to do. The voices inside Spencer’s heard screamed louder and there was lion banging on his chest, but nothing worked. He just wasn’t strong enough.

Morgan ran his hand over his head and sighed sadly, he looked to the door and saw it was tightly shut. “Okay, look,” Morgan said quickly, looking back to Reid, “I know this is unprofessional, and totally crossing a line. I also know that you’re with Hotch, and I’m so sorry for saying this. But I need to, I need to tell you – even if you can’t hear it.”

Reid’s heart thumped quicker, and so did Morgan’s. Morgan took another deep breath and swallowed his pride, and the lump in his throat. “I love you, kid.”

The BPM monitor beeped uncontrollably, as the noises echoed throughout the room. Morgan stared at the man before quickly jumping up and running to the door, throwing it open and shouted for a doctor. Morgan’s distressed voice attracted a lot of attention, including the attention from their team. They quickly ran up to Morgan, as he was pushed out of the room by the doctors.

“What happened?” Hotch asked quickly.

“I don’t know. I was talking to him and then he just lost it.” Morgan said loudly, staring into the room as the doctor and nurses crowded around the young man.

Hotch frowned sadly and walked up to the window with tears in his eyes, “please, Spencer.”

 

Reid’s eyes opened to the blinding lights of his hospital room, it took his ears a moment to focus on the sounds around him – and he soon heard the beeping and buzzing of the machines around him, but there was something else; chatter. He grumbled under the light and the chatter quickly stopped.

“Reid?” Hotch asked.

Reid slowly lifted his head and his eyes focused on the room. He saw Hotch, JJ, Emily, Rossi, Poole and Morgan. “Jello?” He asked, looking to his left and landing his eyes on the man beside him.

“Hey,” Hotch said as he breathed out a puff of air, with a smile and tears in his eyes, shaking his head, “no Jello, I’m sorry. We’ll get you some.”

“What happened?” Reid asked, sitting up so he could look around his friends more easily. His eyes stung and his head shook in excruciating pain.

“You reacted quite badly. How are you doing now?” Hotch asked.

Reid brushed off the question, “can I go home?”

Before Hotch, or anyone else in the room for that matter, could reply, his doctor walked in. “Yes, you can, Doctor Reid.” Everyone’s eyes fell onto the man in shock, before they all relaxed.

Reid looked to the doctor and smiled slightly, “thank you.”

“I’m Doctor Gregson, but before you can leave, I need to ask you some questions.” He spoke with a slight smile, but clipped voice.

Reid sighed inwardly and nodded. Doctor Gregson looked down to the questionnaire clipped onto his clipboard, before looking to the 6-people surrounding his patient. “Would you prefer to answer them alone?”

“Um,” Reid looked around to his friends before admitting defeat from the determined look on all their faces, they were family after all, “they can stay.”

The doctor nodded, putting his glasses on in their rightful place, “right, let’s get started then. But if you don’t mind,” he began, looking to Reid’s visitors, “for these type of questions, he may need some room.”

The group nodded and all muttered an, “of course,” before sitting down on the chairs in the room.

Reid smiled at his friends before his attention was brought back to the doctor, who now stood at the foot of his bed. “Doctor Reid, I need you to answer the questions truthfully and do not be embarrassed by your answers. I won’t be able to send you home, or clear you for your job, if you do not answer truthfully. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Reid nodded.

“There are 7 questions in total. The first one is, how much do you remember of the incident between you and the attacker?” He asked.

Reid blinked up at the man, “all of it.”

“Okay. Do you feel emotional towards the attack?” The doctor asked, writing down the previous answer.

Reid’s eyes quickly shot up to the crack in the ceiling before looking back down to the man in front of him, “I’m angry more than anything, but I don’t see it affecting my lifestyle more than it already has.” Reid replied thoughtfully, as he stared at the doctor and tried to ignore the looks from his friends.

The doctor nodded, “have you interacted sexually with a man before the assault?”

Reid’s cheeks reddened and his eyes quickly flickered to Hotch’s as a slight smile played on his lips. Reid smiled an embarrassed smile back, before looking to the doctor, “yes.” JJ and Emily snorted quietly and Hotch shot them a look, but they didn’t stop smiling as his look wasn’t angry – but more, happy.

Gregson noticed the newly-found tension in the room, but ignored it as it wasn’t any of his business. “When you now think of sexual intercourse, with either genders, are you repulsed of the thought?”

Hotch sat up in his seat subtly, though it wasn’t missed by the people in the room, and watched Reid narrow his eyes and bite his lip, “no,” he replied.

“When you think of the assault, what is the first thing that comes to mind?” Gregson asked.

Reid had no time to think and spat out the first thing that came to mind, “that it’s my fault.”

His friends, and even the doctor, looked up with worried eyes. Reid quickly shook his head and stammered, “no, I mean that I, that, I, uh…”

“Next question?” The doctor asked with sad eyes.

“Please,” Reid muttered quietly.

“Would you be willing to face your attacker if you were to testify in court?” He asked, looking back to the man in the bed.

Reid thought for a moment, before nodding, “yes.”

“Okay, and lastly, do you feel any pain in the,” he stopped and looked around to the group of people staring up at Reid, “ _areas_ where most of the assault took place?”

Reid’s cheeks reddened, “yes, both areas.”

The doctor jotted down Reid’s answer, before looking over his notes. He then let out a relieved sigh and looked up, pressing the clipboard to his chest, “that’s all. Thank you, Doctor Reid. I know they weren’t the easiest of questions, so I admire your honesty. And I’ll be back soon enough with the discharge papers.”

“Thank you,” Reid said to the man with a nod and a smile. Doctor Gregson smiled back and walked to the left side of Reid’s bed. He reached his hand out and Reid slowly took it.

“This wasn’t your fault.” The doctor said quietly, shaking Reid’s hand. He smiled in response, and shook the man’s hand back. The doctor then released Reid’s hand and looked to the group of friends, “look after him,” he warned before quickly walking out of the room.

“Thank God for that,” Reid mumbled once the doctor was gone and the door was shut. He threw back the blanket and quickly got out of bed on his right side.

His team, and Poole, quickly jumped up from their seats and shouted, “Reid!”

“What?” He exclaimed in shock, quickly looking down to the 3 sets of arms holding him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hotch ordered, his face was stern and his lips were pulled into a straight line, as his eyebrows furrowed.

“Um, that is a private matter.” Reid replied with wide eyes.

Hotch shook his head for an explanation, and so did the rest of the team. Reid ignored it and looked at Morgan, JJ and Poole as they all held his body protectively. “I have to use the bathroom,” he muttered.

“Oh,” the team said in sync, their faces and minds instantly relaxing.

“Yeah, so, excuse me.” Reid said, looking down to the arms that trapped him.

“Sorry,” Poole, JJ and Morgan all muttered, letting go of the man.

Reid shook his head in response and slowly limped his way to the bathroom, he could feel the stares burning holes into his back and head. Once he was in the bathroom, he closed the door and leant against the door with a sigh.

“He’s still limping.” Rossi said sadly.

“He will for a while,” Poole replied.

“But it’ll go away, right?” Emily asked, looking away from the door and to Poole.

Poole nodded, looking back to Emily, “yes, eventually.”

“Good.” Hotch muttered.

“Do you think he’ll want us all in here?” JJ asked.

“I don’t think he has any choice,” Rossi replied, gesturing towards Hotch.

They all looked to face Hotch and saw the look of motivation and loyalty on his face as he stared protectively at the door. “I want someone to be around him at all times. Even when he has time off work. And even if he declares in unnecessary.

“You can take care of the times after work hours, right, Hotch?” Emily asked with a smirk.

“Yes.” Hotch replied, not taking his eyes off the door.

“Won’t he be pissed with not being able to go to work as soon as we get back?” Morgan asked quietly.

“Most likely,” JJ replied, folding her arms across her chest

And with that, the door to the bathroom opened, and Reid walked, well limped, out. They all looked back at him and Poole quickly walked over to him, attracting a lot of _angry_ attention for himself. “You okay?” Poole asked Reid, as he locked his arm underneath his.

Reid quickly looked at Poole, and then at Hotch. Hotch folded his arms and sat back down in his chair, all with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Reid gulped and looked back at Poole, “I’m fine, thank you, Captain Poole.”

“Please, call me Chris.” He replied with his British accent dripping through.

Reid laughed awkwardly as they stood still, “right. Well, thanks but I think I can walk to the bed on my own.”

“I insist.” Poole replied, walking Reid to the bed.

Reid could feel all eyes glued onto him as he nervously thought of what to do. Once Reid was back in his bed, he noticed Poole’s arm still wrapped around his forearm. He looked down to it, and so did Poole. “I’m terribly sorry,” he said, before pulling his hand away.

“it’s okay,” Reid mumbled.

Reid could feel his neck and cheeks burn red as he noticed Poole smiling at him in the way Hotch did before he first kissed him, and he quickly turned his head away to look at Hotch with pleading eyes. Hotch chuckled quietly at the young man’s innocence, but he didn’t speak – Morgan did, instead. “Hey, Poole. I think you need to ask Reid a question before you do anything else.”

Poole turned around to look at Morgan, before realisation hit him and he nodded quickly, turning back to the face the now pale man. “So, Doctor Reid, I was wondering if anyone had their eye on you?”

Reid’s eyes widened at the man and he quickly looked at Hotch, who was trying his hardest not to laugh, and then quickly looking at the rest of his team for help, who were also trying not to laugh, before looking back to Poole. His breathing quickened and he could feel a headache form. But then he thought, he thought about how Hotch wasn’t helping him. So, his body calmed down and he slowly turned to look back at Hotch with a challenging glare, and Hotch’s smug look immediately fell.

“Considering no one’s objecting, I guess not.” Reid replied smugly, looking at Poole.

Hotch sat up quickly in his seat and stared at the man, but Reid’s eyes were glued onto Poole. Hotch knew what Reid was doing, but at that moment, he didn’t care that it was a game.

“Oh, that’s great. Would you care for my number?” Poole asked with a smile.

“Uh,” Reid didn’t know what to do, he had never gotten this far before, “sure.”

Poole took a pad and pencil out of his blazer pocket and proceeded to write down his number. Reid looked quickly at Hotch, who was staring at Poole as if he had killed every last person on the planet. His friends were also looking at Hotch with amused looks on their faces, including Morgan, they all wanted to see how he would react once Poole’s number was safely placed into Reid’s hand.

“Here,” Poole ripped the paper out of his pad and took Reid’s hand, softly placing the piece of paper into it with a smile.

“Thanks,” Reid smiled up at him, removing his hand from the man’s grip.

Poole smiled at the man, “you can call me anytime.”

That was it. That was Hotch’s breaking point. He steadied his breathing and straightened his lips, “I’ll make sure we give you a call.”

The man looked at Hotch with a confused face, as Reid and the others all braced themselves. “What do you mean?” Poole asked.

“Oh, I’m sorry. When you asked if anyone had their eye on him, you made the question quite unclear. See, me and Spencer, I have more than my eye on him.” Hotch said with a dark smile.

Poole furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and Hotch sighed. “We’re sleeping together.”

“And, there it is.” Morgan muttered, ignoring the burning sensation in his stomach and chest.

“Though, we’re not just sleeping together. If you must know, we…” Hotch trailed off as he was interrupted by Reid’s voice.

“Hotch, that’s enough. I think he has the idea.” Reid warned, staring at the man.

“I think we all get the idea,” Rossi mumbled.

Hotch smirked at Poole as he stared wide eyed at Hotch. Poole’s mouth was gaping open as he struggled to find words to say. Poole was embarrassed, very embarrassed. “Ah, well, right. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.”

Reid let out a relieved sigh, “It’s not your fault. Hotch likes to pretend nothing goes on.”

Poole looked at the man in the bed and smiled slightly, as he heard Hotch speak, “I, what?”

Reid laughed and looked back at Poole, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, Reid. But I do need to be getting back to my own team, I hope you feel better soon.” Poole smiled.

“Thank you,” he nodded in response and watched as Poole nodded at his friends before walking out and leaving the agents.

Once the door was shut, Reid quickly sat up and threw one of his pillows, that sat promptly behind him, at Hotch. Hotch quickly caught the pillow before it hit his face, and he lowered it with a blank face. “Was that necessary?”

“Yes.” Reid replied with a glare.

The team watched with amused looks at their boss and youngest friend. Even Morgan had a smile plastered on his face, he had usually been jealous when Reid and Hotch had one of their flirtatious arguments, but for once he didn’t care. He was just glad Reid was acting like himself.

“Do you want to tell me why?” Hotch asked.

“You scared him off,” Reid replied.

Hotch looked around to his friends, making sure they heard what he had heard, “I’m sorry for trying to keep other men away from my boyfriend.”

Reid then sat up nervously and looked at Hotch with a serious face, “wait, what?”

Realisation hit Hotch in the chest as he realised what he had said. And soon, the rest of their friends realised what the issue was. “You guys haven’t had the talk?” Emily asked.

“Um, no.” Reid muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“But how long has it been?” Rossi asked, looking over the bed to Hotch.

Hotch ran a hand through his hair, “5 months. I mean, we never really thought it was necessary.”

“And you haven’t had the talk?” Morgan butted in, shocked.

“It never came up.” Reid replied innocently, shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, now it has.” JJ prompted.

Reid’s heart raced, “you know, statistically, 73% of male homosexual relationships…” Reid began before getting interrupted by Emily.

“Reid, so help me God, you better have that conversation.” Emily broke in. She then stood up and held out her hand to Hotch; he stared at the hand in confusion, before Emily sighed and grabbed Hotch’s hand, pulling him up and towards Reid.

“What are you doing, Prentiss?” Hotch asked as he was softly pushed towards the younger man.

“Talk, now.” She ordered, crossing her arms over her chest.

JJ, Rossi and Morgan snorted in amusement at the two men, as they avoided eye contact awkwardly. Eventually JJ stood up next to Emily, “come on, let’s give them privacy.” The rest of the team nodded with smiles, and stood up. They all smiled, or winked, or wiggled their eyebrows at the men as they walked out, leaving them alone.

“So,” Hotch began, as he heard the door shut.

“So,” Reid repeated awkwardly.

 Hotch smiled and looked at the man, “Spencer?” He asked, trying to catch his attention.

Reid looked up and met his eyes, “yes?”

“What do you want to do?” Hotch asked.

“What do you mean?” Reid narrowed his eyes.

“Well, do you want to carry on the way that we are? Put a stop to it? Make it official? I want to know what you want to do.” Hotch spoke with sincerity laced in his voice.

Reid blinked up at the man, and saw the emotion written across his face. Hotch’s eyes were laced with worry and love, and his skin was a pale complexion, more pale than usual. Beads of sweat were forming on his hair line, and Reid could tell instantly that Hotch was worried about Reid’s answer, he could also tell that Hotch was worried about Reid’s health. His thoughts then wandered to all the times Hotch was there for him;

After the Hankel case, when his mother had fallen ill again, during the nightmares and long nights, even after Morgan. Hotch was always there, regardless of if it was during work hours or not, he was always just one call away. Hotch had even began turning up at Reid’s apartment, unannounced, with Thai or Chinese food, and then he would spend the next couple of days there. Reid had noticed that to his friends, or outsiders, that they looked like a couple – but it was never official, they had never once made it obvious to each other. They hadn’t even told each other that they loved each other. It had been 5 months and they had always avoided the conversations that made their _relationship_ real. But, now it was time – it was time that they grew up and became real.

“I love you, Aaron.” Reid said with a smile, looking into the man’s eyes.

Hotch stared at the man with tears forming in his eyes, and a smile cracking on his lips. His breathing quickened and his heart rate picked up, Hotch could feel his chest collapsing. And, God, was it the best feeling in the world.

“I love you, too, Spencer.” Hotch breathed with a wide smile.

Reid smiled at the response and lifted his arm, wrapping his hand around his boyfriend’s tie, before pulling him down and crashing his lips onto Hotch’s with a kiss. Hotch kissed the younger man back, before his thoughts were interrupted, he slowly pulled back and stroked the hair out of Reid’s face, and he looked back at him with happy eyes. Hotch sighed, “what about Morgan?”

Reid narrowed his eyes and thought again for a moment, before shaking his head, “what about him?”

“Come on, Spencer. We both know what I’m talking about.” Hotch replied.

Reid then turned his head to look at the window in his room, and saw his team staring back at him with grins and wide eyes. Reid groaned and threw his head back into his pillow and Hotch then looked at the window and stared at the group. His eyes, though, firstly fell onto Morgan. Morgan was tensing his jaw and the pain was evident in his eyes. Hotch then looked to the ground, before turning back to face Reid.

“Reid,” Hotch said with a straight face, causing Reid to look up at him, “do you love me, or do you love Morgan?”

Reid sat up with wide eyes and shook his head, “what?” His heart beating erratically.

“Come on, Reid. Just tell me the truth. I know how intense your feelings for Morgan were, feelings like that don’t just disappear. I understand if you can’t reciprocate my feelings for you, if you still feel for Morgan. I don’t want you to withhold information for my benefit, I just want you to be happy – regardless if that’s with me or with Morgan.” Hotch spoke, looking back to the window and at Morgan. Reid also looked back to Morgan, and so did the rest of the team. No one on the other side of the glass knew what was going on, no one knew why Reid and Hotch were staring at Morgan with thoughtful eyes. Reid sighed and Hotch quickly looked back at the younger man.

“I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships, the only relationship I have had is with facts. And so, when it comes to feelings – I don’t tend to put myself out there. So, when I first developed feelings for Morgan, I panicked. I denied it, I put it away into my mind and locked it up. I couldn’t deal with it, I couldn’t deal with homosexual feelings for my best friend, especially when I knew they wouldn’t be reciprocated. And that was when I noticed the way you changed around me, the way you acted around me was the same way I acted around Morgan. I read into it, analysing every move you made – and it took my mind off Morgan. He wasn’t on my mind every minute of the day, because the moments he wasn’t, you were. I concentrated on you, and only you. And then on September 26th, you took me home after a case and we went inside. You were nervous and I couldn’t tell why, and that’s when you said, ‘Reid, I’m sorry if I’ve been acting differently recently, I don’t mean to, I am sorry.’ And I said, ‘It’s okay, I don’t want you to feel as if you can’t be yourself around me’. Then you had that look in your eyes, the look that made me feel like I was the only one in the world that you looked at like that – and then you kissed me.” Reid stopped to take a breath, and looked up to Hotch.

Hotch was staring down at him with narrowed eyes and a tight-lipped smile, Reid smiled slightly at him before taking another breath. He spoke again, “what I’m trying to say is that you helped me. You made me forget the thing that was causing me the most pain. And now that Morgan has feelings for me, I can’t just forget what you did. He broke me, Hotch. Those words that he said echoed in my mind for days. But you were still there for me, you knew and yet you stayed. I could never let myself go through that again, I have allowed myself to completely fall in love with you. Morgan, yes, he will always have a place in my heart; but you are the one that fills it, Aaron. You, not Morgan. You’re the one I want to be in a relationship with. I love _you_.”

* * *

Reid was still haunted with the memories and images of what Jack Lester did. He woke up to nightmares of him every night, and saw his face every morning when he awoke. Reid was haunted by the man, and he desperately wanted it to end.

The worst nightmare he had ever encountered was on a particular night.

_“Come on, Spencer.” Jack breathed down his neck, sending shivers down Reid’s body. Reid was laying on the bed, trapped beneath the man with ropes also tying him down – he was trapped._

_Tears rolled down his cheeks as he begged Jack to let him go, “Jack, stop.”_

_Jack threw his hands around the man’s neck, “I’ve already warned you, Spencer. Do you want me to go back and pick your boy toy up, too?”_

_Reid whimpered under the man and closed his eyes, shaking his head. He did not want this to happen to Hotch, he didn’t even want Hotch to see him like this. So, he shut his eyes tighter and cried out in pain and repulsion as Jack proceeded to assault him. The assault felt as if it was going on forever, Reid felt as if he was going to be in pain forever. He prayed for it to stop, he prayed for help, but nothing came. Nothing happened. Nothing was happening other than what the sick, perverted man was doing to him._

Reid shot awake, gasping for breath. Tears falling down his cheeks as he cried out. He then felt a warm hand on his shoulder and he jumped away from it in fear.

“Spencer, it’s me.” Spoke the soothing voice.

Reid looked to Hotch beside him, and his breathing automatically evened. Hotch looked at the younger man and noticed his wide eyes, his erratic breathing, the tears falling from his eyes, and the sweat dropping down his forehead. He slowly reached forward for the man and pulled him towards him, hugging the younger man. “You’re okay.” Reid hugged the man back, and buried his head in his chest, wrapping his arms around the older man’s waist. Hotch kissed the top of Reid’s head and held him tightly, soothing the boy into a calm state. Once Reid had calmed almost completely, Hotch sighed and whispered, “another nightmare?”

Reid sniffled and buried his head closer towards his chest; he needed the comfort from his partner. He sighed and nodded, “this one was different.”

“How?” Hotch asked softly.

“This one was exactly what happened. Everything that happened in my dream, happened in reality,” Reid said quietly, shutting his eyes.

Hotch frowned and tightened his grip around the younger man, he allowed Reid’s tears to soak Hotch’s grey top. Himself and Reid had worn clothes in bed together every night since the attack. Hotch was too scared that intercourse would scare Reid, and remind him of what happened – and Reid didn’t want Hotch to think that he was a coping mechanism for his trauma. They had been close to crossing the line, but both pulled away once it got too far.

It had been nearly 3 weeks since the attack, and it was Reid’s last day of not going to work. Hotch had stayed with Reid nearly every night since – with the exception of the weekends when Jack was due to stay over. JJ or Emily, or even Garcia had stayed the nights that Hotch couldn’t. Reid had declared that he was fine and that he wasn’t in need of a “babysitter”, but the 3 women and Hotch knew he was lying. And honestly, Reid didn’t want to be alone – at all. He hated the idea of being all alone with the memories of what happened. But Reid had realised something, something that filled his gut with guilt – the person he wanted, no, _needed_ , to see the most, never came. Morgan. He never came to see him; he never came to see if he was okay. He had texted him nearly every day, though. Reid was so glad that he had contact with the man, even if it was a little amount.

The texts were very vague as they only read, _Hey, kid. I hope you’re doing ok and the others are taking care of you. I’ll see you soon, feel better._

And Reid would always reply the same, _Thanks, Derek. I hope you’re doing okay, too. I’ll see you soon._ And then they both went on with their day, Morgan going to work and Reid making coffee and breakfast.

But today was different, it was Reid’s last day and he was more nervous than ever. Yeah, he wanted to go back but Reid was scared that he wasn’t going to be able to profile the same again, or look at an unsub or a dead body the same again. He shuddered at the thought of not being the same and held the man beside him tighter. Himself and Hotch were still hanging tightly onto each other as they remained in bed. Hotch was too scared to let him go, he never wanted to see Reid so scared and vulnerable again, he wanted to remain locked away in bed together for the rest of their lives.

“I’m gonna put some coffee on. Do you want some?” Reid asked distractedly, mumbling into Hotch’s chest.

Hotch sighed and pressed a kiss into the younger man’s full head of hair, as he laid them both back down, “why don’t we just stay in bed for a little while younger?”

Reid chuckled under his breath, “sure.”

Hotch smiled and closed his eyes contently, taking in Reid’s scent. He was so glad he was there with him, to be able to hold him, kiss him, love him. But Hotch could tell there was something different about him; Reid was acting more distant than usual – at first, he thought it was just himself being insecure and worried about the younger man, but once JJ had said something, he knew it was true. The girls had also noticed that he was acting different with them, too. He wasn’t as focused on the conversations and was constantly in a world of his own. Emily, of course, had asked Reid if he was feeling okay and if there was anything she could do, but he blown her off and insisted that he was fine.

 

The day went by quite quickly. They hadn’t done anything of importance, and had just decided on a relaxing day before work. But before the day ended, Hotch had decided to stay the night with Reid, again, and had to make a quick stop at his own apartment for his work clothes and to pack a new go-bag for work. He asked if Reid wanted to come, but Reid insisted on staying home.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself?” Hotch asked, with furrowed eyebrows and a worried glare.

Reid nodded, “yes, I’ll be fine. Go.”

Hotch blinked at the man before sighing, he got up off Reid’s couch and pressed a soft kiss to the man’s forehead once he was standing upright. “I’ll be back soon. What are you going to do whilst I’m gone?”

“Read a book,” Reid shrugged, looking up to the man.

Hotch smiled slightly and nodded, before walking to the door and picking up his coat and bag full of clothes. Once his hand was on the door handle, he looked back to Reid, who was watching him. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Reid smiled, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Hotch said with a sigh before walking out of the apartment.

Once Reid was alone, he sighed and fell back into the couch. He closed his eyes and the silence engulfed him. He didn’t want to be alone; he didn’t want Hotch to leave – but he figured Hotch needed some alone time after looking after Reid for nearly 3 weeks. But his eyes then shot open in fear as he heard a noise, something had banged into his window. He quickly jumped up from his seat and stalked to the window where the noise came from, he pushed the curtain back and saw what it was. A rain drop. A damned rain drop. Reid sighed inwardly and walked back over to the couch, falling face first onto it. He groaned into the pillow and cursed at himself for getting so scared. But before he had time to do anything else, he felt his leg vibrate. He sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone. He turned to lay on his back and looked at what made his phone vibrate. Reid had a text – from Morgan.

**_Hey, kid. I know I’ve already sent my daily text. But I just wanted to check in and see how you were feeling about tomorrow? I’m here if you need to talk, you know that._ **

Reid felt something inside him turn as he began to type out a reply.

_Hi, thanks. I’m doing okay, can’t wait for something to do! I know this is completely against my nature, but I’m actually bored of reading the same books over and over again. I really need to buy some new ones._

He put his phone down on his chest, as he looked up to the ceiling and awaited Morgan’s reply, and in the matter of 48 seconds, it arrived.

**_Wow, that may be the quickest time you’ve ever replied to one of my texts. What, is Hotch making dinner? And yes, you do need some new books. Maybe some comic books?_ **

Reid laughed at the comic books statement, and eagerly replied.

_No, ha. Hotch has gone home to get some new clothes for work tomorrow. He’ll be back in about an hour and a half. Also, I will never, and mark my words, never get a comic book._

**_Is anyone with you at the minute, then? And I will, one day, make you buy a comic book._ **

_Nope, not at the moment. First time in weeks that I’ve actually been alone. You will never catch me buying a comic book, Morgan. Never._

**_Are you okay being by yourself? And before you answer that, remember that I know you and when you’re lying.  And, fine. If you don’t buy yourself a comic, then I’ll just buy one for you._ **

_I’m ok. Just a little worried, really. But I’ll be fine; thank you for asking, it really means a lot. And seriously, Morgan, I will never read it._

**_Have you had dinner yet? You will read a comic._ **

_Not yet. I figured me and Hotch would order something in later tonight. I will never read a comic._

Reid awaited Morgan’s reply, but it didn’t come. He waited 5 minutes for the reply, before setting his phone on his coffee table and getting up. He stalked over to his kitchen and made himself a glass of water. Once he cut the tap off, he leant back against the counter and swallowed a gulp of the drink. He listened to the rain tapping against the window as the moonlight slowly found its way into his apartment. Reid put the glass down and walked to the window, he opened the curtains and looked outside. He watched as the cars sped by and people walking with their friends – it seemed as if he was the only one alone on the whole planet. Reid felt sick as he remembered he was alone. All alone. Alone in a world that apparently hated him. He closed his eyes and his mind wandered to Jack Lester. The rain added a certain melancholia to his memories, as he felt Jack’s hot breath on his neck, as his hands roamed Reid’s trembling body. He heard the crude whispers in his left ear, as his own breath shuddered. Tears escaped Reid’s eyes as he dragged himself out of the memories. He closed his eyes momentarily before surrendering to the darkness and opening them, only to be welcomed to the darkness of his own apartment.

“Stop.” Reid told himself, as he wiped his face and moved away from the window. He quickly flicked the rest of the lights on, and with a shaky hand, he leant down and picked up his phone; he had a text from Hotch. Reid’s lips stretched into a warm smile as he unlocked his phone, and opened the message.

**_Hi. Is everything ok? I’m just waiting for these clothes to dry. Once I’m back, we can go out to get some food if you want. I won’t be too long, if you need anything, just text and I’ll come straight there._ **

Reid looked at the message with a thoughtful look as he thought of what to write, eventually he sat down and began to reply.

_Don’t worry, everything is fine. You don’t need to hurry back, there’s no rush. I fancy Thai, what about you?_

The reply came almost instantly.

**_Thai, definitely. Are you sure you’re ok?_ **

_Yay. And yes, I’m fine. Are you?_

**_As long as you are, I’m ok. But I do miss you._ **

_You’ve been gone for 38 minutes. How do you miss me?_

**_Don’t you miss me?_ **

_Yes. Very much so._

**_Well, then, Spencer. I rest my case._ **

_I love you._

**_I love you, so much._ **

_Text me when you’re on your way back and I’ll jump in the shower._

**_Why don’t we jump in the shower together?_ **

_Because, knowing you, we’ll have to shower again afterwards._

**_Ha, you’re no fun._ **

Reid was just about to reply when he heard a knock on his door. He looked at his door, before looking back down to his phone.

_Is that you?_

The reply, like before, came instantly.

**_Is what me?_ **

_At the door?_

**_No? Check who it is before you answer. Text me as soon as you know who it is._ **

Reid put his phone down on the table and slowly walked to the door, his mind flashing to Jack. _God, please don’t be Jack,_ he thought. His heart was slamming and jolting at his chest like the water slamming against the damn. He looked through the peephole and saw a familiar face. He let out a relieved sigh and quickly opened the door.

“I fancied Thai.” Morgan said with a grin, holding up a bag of food.

Reid looked at the man with a confused glare, and Morgan laughed, “you gonna let me in?”

“Huh?” Reid stammered, before moving out of the way of the man, letting him in, “yeah sure. Sorry.” Reid’s heart had only slowly begun to calm down, and his blood cells were finally once again able to supply the much needed oxygen around his body.

“I didn’t want to be alone, so I figured I’d get food and bring it by.” Morgan said, as he walked into Reid’s apartment and headed straight for the couch.

Reid awkwardly closed the door also heading for the couch, sitting on the other end from Morgan, “you brought food because you were alone?” Reid cocked his eyebrow and tilted his head, squinting his eyes.

Morgan looked up to Reid with sincere eyes, “I didn’t like the idea of you being alone,” he admitted.

Reid blinked at the man, before sighing thankfully. “Thank you,” Reid said with a nod. Morgan could see in his eyes how thankful he was, and so he replied with a nod and a very sincere smile. He was glad Reid was okay with him being there, but he was more glad it was them two, together, at last. Since that morning with Reid needing to borrow his clothes at the hotel, they hadn’t really spent a lot of time together, alone, just the two of them. And Morgan missed it, he missed it more than anything. He missed Reid, he missed his best friend.

But before either of them spoke another word, Reid’s phone buzzed. He picked it up off the table, next to the bag of food, and read the 3 texts from Hotch.

**_Did you see who it was?_ **

**_Is everything ok?_ **

**_Spencer?_ **

Reid chuckled, before looking up to Morgan, who was watching him. “I think Hotch thinks you’re someone who was planning to kill me.”

Morgan laughed and widened his eyes, “you better hurry and reply before he comes back and tries to kill _me._ ”

Reid chuckled back and typed out his reply.

_It’s only Morgan. He came to check up on me before tomorrow. He bought Thai, I’ll save you some._

* * *

It was nearing 11 pm, and the 3 men were too busy talking to notice. Once Hotch had arrived, the atmosphere was somewhat tense, but it soon returned to normal and they all dived into conversation – one they could all find interesting.

“Damn,” Morgan eventually said, looking to the time on his phone, “I best be going.”

Reid and Hotch then also noticed the time and cursed themselves for not noticing the time sooner. Morgan stood up and put his empty beer bottle into the bin, before Reid stood up. “You are not driving.”

Morgan turned around and saw the two men standing, facing him with warning glares, “what?” He asked Reid.

“You cannot drive. You had 4 bottles of beer, that is past the drinking limit.” Hotch answered, his voice sounded as if he were giving an order at work.

Morgan stared with disbelief at the sudden interrogation, “what?” He asked again. He looked at his friends and noticed how close Reid actually was to him, Hotch was still standing by the couch but Reid and Morgan’s bodies had somehow moved towards the door as they spoke.

Did you know that the amount of accidents that occur…” Reid began before being cut off by Morgan’s sigh and groan.

“Fine, I’ll catch a cab.” He rubbed his face.

“Do you have a go-bag in your car?” Hotch asked.

“Yes,” Morgan replied, unknowing of where the conversation was going.

Reid nodded, “then you can stay here.”

Morgan shook his head quietly, “Reid, no, I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. And I’m not taking a no for an answer. You can borrow some of my clothes for bed.” Reid said sternly, folding his arms over his chest.

Morgan was about to reply when he looked at Reid properly. He looked into his eyes and saw what he didn’t want to see. Reid was pleading, he wanted Morgan to stay – not only for Morgan’s benefit, but for his own. Reid was scared, he feared Jack and he feared going back to work. Morgan felt instantly bad for the man, and yearned to be there for him; just as much as Hotch was, “okay.”

Reid smiled and Hotch nodded, and sat back down on the couch. Morgan and Reid were still standing, Reid knew Morgan could see how he was feeling and he hated it – he hated seeming so vulnerable in front of the man. Morgan nodded, telling him that it was okay, and Reid smiled slightly. They both walked back over to the couch and arm chair, and sat.

They spoke some more and discussed the work, before Reid yawned. They had to be up at 7 and it was now 12. “Tired?” Hotch asked.

“Hm, a little.” Reid replied, rubbing his eyes. A _‘little’_ was an understatement and everyone knew it. Reid was exhausted. The purple bags under his eyes told everyone that. Morgan knew Reid hadn’t been sleeping well, and it wasn’t only because of Jack, Morgan knew it was also because he was scared of going back to work. And Hotch knew it too, he had subtly offered for Reid to take more time off, to wait until his sleeping patterns had repaired, but Reid of course blew him off. But Reid was tired, he was so tired.

Morgan and Hotch smiled at the innocent action of him rubbing his eyes, before Hotch stood up. “Say goodnight to Morgan,” he said as he stretched his arms out towards the tired man.

Reid titled his head in confusion, before he took his hands and was pulled up by the older man. Hotch gave him a look, telling him what to do. “I’m not a child, Aaron.”

Hotch repeated the look and Reid eventually gave up, he looked behind Hotch to Morgan, who was looking at with him softness and amusement in his eyes, “goodnight, Morgan.”

“Goodnight, kid.” Morgan said softly with a smile.

Hotch, still holding Reid, turned to face Morgan, “I’ll be back out soon,”

Morgan nodded and watched as Reid tiredly leant on Hotch, as he walked them to Reid’s bedroom. Once they were in the room, Hotch led Reid to the bed and softly put him down. He carefully and softly removed his clothes, leaving Reid in his underwear; he pulled the quilt from under him and placed it over him. Reid was already half asleep, and muttered his thanks.

“Goodnight, Spencer.” Hotch replied quietly, bending down and placing a soft kiss on the man’s lips.

Reid closed his eyes and smiled lazily, Hotch smiled and began to walk out before he was quickly pulled back by Reid grabbing his hand. He turned and saw Reid, still with his eyes closed. “I love you, Aaron, so much.” His voice was hoarse and croaky.

Hotch felt his stomach flip, and his heart skipped a beat. To him, Reid looked adorable. With his eyes closed, and a tired and lazy voice, he looked like an angel. “I love you, too, baby.”

Hotch raised Reid’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand and watched as Reid smiled, before his breath evened out and fell asleep. Hotch put his hand back on the bed, before he quietly walked out of the room.

“Everything okay?” Morgan asked once Hotch sat back down on the couch.

Hotch smiled slightly, thinking of Reid, “I think he’s a bit nervous about tomorrow.”

Morgan’s eyes fell to the floor, before he looked back up to Hotch, “I think he’s more than nervous, Hotch.”

“What do you mean?” Hotch asked.

He thought for a moment, before replying, “we were texting earlier, before I came over – and he seemed…off. He seemed too excited for going back to work at first, but then he changed; he said he felt worried about being alone. I just don’t think he’s okay.”

Hotch frowned as the man spoke, he thought he was being paranoid and worried when he thought that, but clearly it was right. “I don’t think so either. He’s changed, and we’ve all noticed it. I’d do anything for the old Reid back. The one who wasn’t so distant, and agitated, or the one who wouldn’t shudder at every touch.” Hotch replied sadly, with a distracted look on his face.

Morgan listened to what Hotch had said with a sad look. He knew Reid was bad, but not that bad. “Has he spoken to anyone?”

Hotch shook his head, “no. Other than being forced into a doctor’s office for a second opinion, that’s it.”

“Shouldn’t he have been made to see a therapist?” Morgan asked.

“Yes. But, Reid knew all the right answers to the right questions.” Hotch nodded sadly.

With a shake of his head, Morgan replied, “is there anything we can do?”

“Just be there when it’s time to listen.” Hotch answered.

“I really wish he gets better, Hotch. I don’t want him to be afraid of anything anymore. I hate seeing the fear and pain in his eyes,” he frowned.

“Me too,” Hotch said quietly, taking another sip of his beer distractedly.

 

Reid was the first to wake up, slamming his hand down on his alarm clock, shutting it up. He groaned before opening his eyes and looking to his left. He saw Hotch sleeping peacefully, and felt guilty that he had to wake him up. He slowly shook his right shoulder, “Hotch, we have to get up.”

Hotch didn’t move.

“Hotch, baby, come on.” Reid said a little louder, shaking his shoulder again.

Hotch groaned, pressing his head further into his pillow. “How much did you and Morgan drink?”

He groaned once more, turning onto his stomach, blocking out the light seeping through the bedroom window, “too much for a work night,” Hotch moaned.

Reid chuckled and got out of the bed, Hotch didn’t move. “We need to get up or we’re gonna be late,” Reid spoke.

“Give me a few more minutes,” Hotch replied into the pillow.

Reid sighed and gave up. “half an hour, and that’s it.” He slipped on a top, grey jogging bottoms and socks.

Hotch nodded into the pillow, and muttered an apparent _‘thank you’_ , Reid watched as he made no other movements and proceeded to walk out of the bedroom and straight into the kitchen – the coffee maker. As he headed towards the kitchen, he remembered the man sleeping on his couch. He grabbed Morgan’s shirt off the floor, and threw it towards the sleeping man. It made little, to no, effect and Reid chuckled as he looked at the man. Morgan was sleeping without his clothes, with the exception of his boxers, with his body tangled in a sheet. His left arm was dangling off the side of the couch, and he was snoring – loudly.

Reid walked to the front side of the couch and knelt down, prodding at Morgan’s face, “hey, wake up. Don’t make me throw water in your face.”

Morgan didn’t reply, and Reid sighed. He dropped his head and sighed once more, before he felt an arm on his. He looked up and saw Morgan, who was still asleep, raising his arm which rested securely on Reid’s upper arm. Reid’s skin tingled at the touch and he felt his neck redden, he slowly stood up, watching as the arm dropped to the floor.

“Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Reid muttered, heading for the kitchen.

He made himself a coffee, and drank it quickly. He was too excited for what he was about to do, to even care about the boiling liquid slip down his throat. Once he had finished his drink, he headed to the bathroom and began his shower. He slipped down into his boxers, before quietly walking out of the bathroom; he filled a plastic bowl with cold water – even adding a few ice cubes, and made his way to where Morgan slept. He cleared the area of any books or anything valuable, before taking a deep breath, he threw the water over Morgan, including the bowl, before running into the bathroom and locking the door. He heard the shouts and groans from Morgan, before hearing the panicked runs and questions from Hotch, as he ran into the living room. Reid chuckled loudly, before getting into the shower.

As he finished washing his hair, he heard a loud bang on the bathroom door. “Spencer Reid, I am going to kill you!” Morgan shouted.

Reid laughed once more, before he heard Hotch talk. “He also woke me, so I’m not gonna stop him, Spencer.”

“Hey, you’re supposed to stick up for me!” Reid shouted back.

“Not when you said I had an extra 30 minutes, but waking me up in 12 instead.” Hotch replied. Reid could tell from the strain in Hotch’s voice, he found the situation humorous as he tried to fight off a headache.

Morgan banged on the door once again, “get out here, Reid!”

“Leave me alone, I’m showering.” Reid laughed, stepping back into the water to allow the water to wash away any stray clots of shampoo or conditioner from his long hair. He ran his fingers through his hair as it fell just above his shoulders, _I need a haircut_ , he thought.

“I don’t give a damn if you were fucking a girl in there, get out here!” Morgan shouted, before muttering an apology to Hotch.

Reid laughed once more, before he realised he was finished in the shower. Fear almost suddenly washed over him, “what’s going to happen when I come out?” His voice boomed bravery and humour as he spoke, but his heart rate was slowly starting to increase with anxiety.

“You’re just going to have come out here and see, aren’t you?” Morgan purred.

Reid shut off the shower, and he felt his breathing quicken.

“Alright, this is enough. I think you’ve worried him enough,” he heard Hotch say to Morgan quietly. Hotch always was the one to save the day, no doubt about it.

Reid smiled as he listened carefully to the conversation on the other side of the door.

“Hotch there was ice,” Morgan moaned quietly.

“Yes, and I give you permission to get him back – but for now, we all need to get ready.” Hotch replied.

Morgan sighed before knocking weakly on the door, “you win for now, kid. But you better watch your back. Payback’s a bitch.”

Reid chuckled under his breath, before getting dressed and ready for work.


	6. Chapter 6

“We have a case,” Hotch shouted out to his friends and workmates in the bullpen.

They blinked up at him in shock, before they all quickly moved. JJ and Reid were talking at his desk, Morgan was sitting with Emily, and Rossi was with Hotch. They all made their way to the round table room, and saw Garcia standing in the room, files in hand.

“4 homicides in Albuquerque,” Garcia frowned.

They all took their seats at the table, Rossi sat between JJ and Morgan, and Reid sat between Morgan and Emily, as Hotch and Garcia stood, presenting the case. They all had a mug of coffee in front of them, regardless if they were standing or sitting – it was too early, they thought.

Garcia handed out the files to the team as Hotch spoke, “4 men, all 43 years old. No instant connection, all found wrapped in plastic, on the side of the road. They were all bound, and were killed by asphyxiation.”

“Were they alive before they were wrapped in the plastic?” JJ asked.

“By the saliva marks left on the plastic, I think so.” Hotch nodded.

Garcia shuddered at the images that she projected onto the screen in front of them. “They were found by random members of the public. But, they were disposed of at different times, in different places.” She said, before taking a gulp of her coffee. It was definitely too early for the soul destroying and disturbing images before her, she thought.

Hotch nodded, before adding, “all were dumped on a Thursday.”

Morgan furrowed his eyebrows, “it’s a Tuesday. Why are we only being told? We only have 2 days if the unsub is going to follow the pattern.”

“The officers thought they could deal with it,” Hotch replied, wondering the same question, he shrugged his shoulders and his eyebrows furrowed.

Reid re-read the file, before reaching forward for his coffee. He took a gulp and the liquid slid down his throat, before his eyes widened and his throat became dry and sore. He quickly slammed the mug down on the table as he coughed violently, throwing the back of his hand to cover his mouth, attracting attention to himself from his friends.

“Reid, you ok?” Hotch asked with wide eyes, as everyone turned in their seats to face the younger man.

Reid knew automatically what had happened – _who_ had happened. He cleared his throat before turning to face his left, staring straight at Morgan. Morgan was grinning widely. “You son of a bitch,” Reid muttered, with a strained voice.

“What’s happened now?” Emily asked, sighing as she rested back into her chair.

Hotch narrowed his eyes before reaching forward and picking up Reid’s mug of coffee, all but Reid and Morgan watched him, as he brought it to his lips and took a tiny sip. He didn’t react as he drank the liquid, he put the coffee down and sighed, “salt.”

“Morgan!” JJ moaned loudly, “you know how much sugar Reid puts in, what if that killed him?”

Morgan didn’t look away from Reid, as they challengingly glared at each other, “pretty boy shouldn’t have thrown ice cold water over me.”

Reid then looked away as he felt the attention become too much, “just wait.”

Morgan sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands together, “oh, it’s on, pretty boy.”

Hotch smiled slightly at Reid, as he spoke, “right. Well, wheels up in 20.”

The team nodded and stood, all looking briefly at Reid to make sure he was okay. They knew he wasn’t, they could tell instantly but they could also tell Reid was trying his hardest to seem okay, to seem like he was actually having fun with Morgan – but it wasn’t fooling anybody.

 

On the jet, they spoke more on the case – coming up with potential theories. Discussing the victim’s criminal records; they were all convicted of petty theft in their late teens – early twenties. But nothing on their records since then, showing the team that they had tried to turn their lives around. And they had, they were married or with a partner, one man was even expecting a child with his wife. Once they had landed, JJ had spoken to the families of the victims – Gary Leek, the most recent victim, was the man whose wife was expecting a child.

All families had said the same, the men were nice people, who no one hated or despised. They were well known for their generosity to certain charities. Of course, their first thought was that they all donated to the same charity, and that was their connection – but they all were separate charities. There were no connections.

“Maybe they’re just random blitz attacks?” Emily asked, as they all sat at a conference table in the police department. She sat back in her chair and frustratingly ran a hand through her hair.

“Victims of opportunity. They all have different characteristics; they don’t look the same. Maybe Emily’s right, they might have just been opportunities.” Morgan shrugged, with his elbows on the table as he thought. He knew they weren’t random attacks, they were too organised, but there was nothing he could think of that connected the victims.

Hotch shook his head, “they can’t be. They’re all Caucasian males, 43 years old. The age and race may be the only similarity, but the attacks are not random. They are planned, organised. The unsub watches them, learns their routines, and waits for them to be alone so he can attack. He abducts them on their way to work, and kills them before midday on Thursday. Which only means, he’s found his next victim.”

Rossi sighed, “we have to find the victim to find the unsub.”

It was then that the lead detective, Alex Harris, walked in. “Could I get you guys anything?” He asked, smiling widely at his new and temporary workmates. Alex was a well organised detective, he had worked hard to get into the position he was in. His black shirt was tucked into his black slim fit pants, whilst his blue tie hung neatly around his neck. There were marks around his nose, proving he had worn glasses for a reasonable number of years, to finally resort to contact lenses. The man had bright, emerald green eyes, with bow shaped lips so perfectly created, they could have been created with Gods hands himself. But, his cheekbones. His cheekbones would have sliced your finger if it was to slightly scrape them, with his jaw line as straight as the uncle at thanksgiving. Alex’s hair was messily cut short, and one stray piece occasionally found its own way down to the top of his well-plucked eyebrows.

Everyone looked around to each other, before Reid stood up, “could you show me to the coffee machine?”

The team smiled amusingly at Reid, as he flashed a look at Morgan, before Alex nodded and told Reid to follow him. As he walked out of the room, they all chuckled as they heard him ask, “you have sugar, right?”

“At least that’s not changed,” Emily smiled.

Hotch nodded with a slight smile, “he’ll be back to normal soon.”

Emily’s smile then widened, and everyone quickly noticed, waiting for her to explain. “It’s seem as though Hotch has more competition.”

Hotch furrowed his eyebrows in confusion along with everyone else, “sorry?” He asked.

She gestured her head towards the glass wall of the room, which overlooked the precinct. The team’s eyes followed hers, and they were soon looking at Alex as he laughed and smiled at Reid, showing his perfect set of white teeth. “Come on, who wouldn’t try it with him?” Emily purred as she stared at Alex.

Hotch turned back to face Emily, “there’s no way Reid would go for someone like that.”

“What makes you so sure?” JJ asked with a smile, sitting back in the chair as she looked back to Hotch.

The man thought for a moment, as everyone turned to look at him with amused smiles. They each enjoyed seeing Hotch jealous, it reminded them of how Hotch did indeed have emotions. But it also reminded them that Reid was loved, and that being with Hotch was a good thing for the younger man.

Hotch sat back in his chair and let out an exasperated sigh, “I will not hesitate to shoot him if he gets too close.”

The team laughed at Hotch, before looking back to Alex and Reid. Alex was helping Reid how to use the coffee machine, and was explaining how their machine was different _and better_ than any other machine in any other precinct or station. They all shared a couple seconds of silence as they thought of Reid, before they got back to work. Silent thoughts emitted through them all as they tried to work out the unsub’s train of thought, until they heard Reid’s little laugh. The team looked around at each other, before looking to the window of the room and saw Reid talking to Alex, as they both held a cup of coffee. “Did he just laugh?” Emily asked. She quickly looked towards Hotch, realising if he was jealous, it was her fault. She saw his tense jaw, but happy eyes.

“I think so,” Rossi smiled.

Reid, feeling the stares, looked into the conference room and smiled awkwardly at his team, before turning back to Alex. He thanked him for the coffee and Alex stretched out his hand. The team gulped nervously in fear at the sight, they knew Reid disliked the touch of another person before the incident, but after the incident, it became worse, much worse. Reid looked down to the hand, and tensed his jaw before, with a shaky hand, shaking Alex’s.

“Good kid,” Morgan said proudly.

Hotch smiled at the sight, and breathed out a relieved sigh as Reid smiled at Alex, before he removed his hand from his grasp and headed back to the conference room. Once Reid was back in his seat, with a cup of coffee in hand, he looked around to his friends and saw they were all proudly staring at him.

“What?” Reid asked, his heart fluttered nervously in his chest; but it was a good nervous, an accomplishing nervous.

“We love you,” JJ replied with a wide smile, as she rested her chin on the backs of her hands as she rested her elbows on the table.

Reid furrowed his eyebrows before taking a gulp of his coffee, once his cup was away from his lips, he replied, “thanks.”

JJ laughed and Morgan smiled, as he ruffled Reid’s hair. Reid’s free hand swatted at Morgan’s, as the team watched with happy eyes. They could see the old Reid again, even if it was just for a moment.

 

They were still sitting around the table, Chinese food containers surrounding them. The team had concluded that the unsub was bound to interject himself into the investigation, just to ensure he wouldn’t be caught. But, also that the victims were killed for the crimes they had committed. However, once again, their crimes were not connected.

Alex then knocked on the door, and slowly came in. The agents all looked up to the door and saw the man with tired and eyes and a drawn smile, “I’m sending some of my men home. I hope that’s okay?”

Hotch looked down to his watch, before nodding, “of course. I think we’re going to head back to the hotel now, too. We need fresh eyes to go over the case.”

Alex smiled with a nod, before looking down to Reid, “Agent Reid, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Reid blinked up at the man, before standing up, “of course.” He looked around to his friends quickly, as they watched him, before he followed the man out of the room.

Eyes were quickly placed onto Hotch, as guilt erupted through the members of the BAU. “We were joking earlier, Hotch. I’m sure there actually isn’t anything to worry about,” Emily said with a forced smile.

The man looked to Emily and nodded, “Alex is an attractive male. If Reid and I were not together, I wouldn’t see why he wouldn’t go further with Alex. But we are together, and I highly doubt Reid would intentionally hurt me in that way.” Smiles were shot at Hotch, and the guilt quickly fizzled away.

The room’s wall that was adjoined to the precinct was glass, and so the team could easily watch and hear the two men talk as they only stood a couple of metres from the room.

“Is everything okay?” Reid asked.

Alex thought for a moment, “actually, no. I’m worried that I’m going to wake up on Thursday morning to find another body. And it’s going to be my fault. I didn’t think we needed any help, but I left it too late. And now, this next man’s death, is on me.” His lip quivered nervously as he looked at the taller yet younger man; Alex looked terrified, devastated.

Reid shook his head once he finished talking, “no, Detective. This isn’t your fault. Whatever happens, it’s the unsub’s fault, not yours. You can’t blame yourself for another’s actions.”

“Have you seen cases like these before?” Alex asked, looking down to the floor.

“Yes,” Reid replied with eyes looking straight at the man in front of him.

“How did the officers, or detectives, take it?” He asked with pleading eyes. The green embers around his small pupils shone brightly.

“Some like you. Others knew that it wasn’t their fault,” Reid spoke with soft eyes, as his head slowly tilted to the left.

Alex stared at Reid, before nodding with a smile, “thank you.”

“It’s okay,” Reid smiled.

“I won’t shake your hand again,” Alex chuckled, “I can tell you’re not a big fan of touching.”

Reid chuckled with a nod, “thank you.”

“I’ll let you get back to your team, I bet they’re missing you.” Alex spoke as a smile pulled at his lips.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Reid mumbled quietly. Alex narrowed his eyes in a questioning manner, Reid took the hint and replied, “I was off for 3 weeks.”

“Ah,” Alex said with a nod, before looking to the conference room, and then back at Reid, “I definitely think they missed you, and still are missing you.”

Reid furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, before looking to his friends in the room – they quickly ducked and looked away as Reid’s eyes fell on them. Alex laughed and patted Reid’s left shoulder, before walking away – forgetting about Reid’s issue. Reid could feel the mark on his shoulder burn, he could feel the bite mark gnaw at his skin.

Reid froze in shock, looking down to the floor. His heart raced and his breath got stuck in his throat. He could feel, once again, his team’s eyes on him. Reid swallowed the fearful lump in his throat, and his eyes wandered up to Hotch’s. Reid could feel his heart rate quicken and his breath became trapped in his lungs.

“Shit,” Hotch muttered loudly, before quickly dropping his phone on the table and rushing out of the room.

Hotch rushed over to Reid, and quickly rushed him into the bathroom. “I tried, Hotch. I did.” Reid’s breathing was erratic and his eyes were as wide as ever. Hotch held him tightly and stared deeply into his eyes, they were both alone standing in the bathroom, whilst Reid looked as if memories were entering his mind from every direction.

“I know, Spencer. I just need you to calm down for me, okay. Please?” Hotch asked calmly. Reid nodded, but he couldn’t calm down. He tried, but he couldn’t. His breathing quickened, and Hotch realised Reid was having a panic attack. “Sit, Spencer. Sit down, you’re having a panic attack.”

He nodded and slid down to the floor, he allowed Hotch to softly push his head down in between his knees. Hotch rubbed calming circles on Reid’s back as his breathing eventually evened, and his head defogged. Once Reid was sure he would be able to lean back without breaking into another panic, he leant back and rested his head against the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Spencer. It wasn’t your fault,” Hotch spoke softly with a smile, he stared at the man with warm and loving eyes.

Reid opened his eyes and looked at the man before him, “I love you,” Reid said.

Hotch smiled, “I love you, too.”

“Thank you,” Reid smiled sadly.

“Will you be okay to walk?” Hotch asked, as he straightened his back, ignoring the tight notches resting uncomfortably in his back.

Reid nodded, “I think so.”

Hotch helped the man up, before pressing a firm kiss on his forehead. Reid smiled at him as he pulled away, and they both walked out of the bathroom and back into the conference room. Hotch and Reid were both glad to be out of the bathroom, of course due to the circumstances they were in there; but also, because the bathroom’s light shone so bright, they may as well have been on a stage with 5 spotlights aiming right at them.  

“Everything alright?” Emily asked, as everyone watched the two men walk back into the room with worried eyes. They knew Reid was bad, but not _panic attack_ bad.

“Yes, thank you.” Reid nodded, clearing his throat and smiling at his team. Reid was embarrassed, but he knew they understood – he just didn’t want them to think he couldn’t carry on with his job. He was more than capable, he thought, to carry on with his job as everyone else did.

“Is everyone ready to head back to the hotel?” Hotch asked, his eyes flashing back between his friends and Reid.

All 5 agents nodded at their boss. Hotch’s eyes were drawn, tired. He was exhausted and everyone could see it – but they also could all see that Hotch would never leave Reid, he was so in love with Reid and he would do anything for him. Once all things were collected and packed away, each member of the tired team headed out of their private room and headed out to the main precinct. Each agent looked around and said their goodbyes before all making their way to the main exit; suddenly, the team were all stopped by a familiar voice shouting out Reid’s name. Reid quickly spun around and his eyes met Harris’, along with the rest of the team.

 “Agent Reid,” he breathed out, once he was stood in front of Reid, though as distracted he was, Harris didn’t notice the fear in Reid’s eyes and the way he fearfully took a step behind Hotch, “I just wanted to thank you for what you said.”

“That’s okay,” Reid replied quietly. Reid’s heartrate had begun to increase and he could feel the anxiety slowly begin to swallow him once again. He took another, subtle, step back behind Hotch.

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked, his breathing still uneven, though it wasn’t obvious why as the man clearly worked out – regularly.

“We’re all just a bit tired,” Morgan said defensively from behind the man.

As Alex looked around the agents, he noticed how close they were all standing beside Reid. He saw Hotch was standing in front of Reid, as Reid stood behind his arm closely. Whilst, Emily, JJ and Rossi stood protectively to his left, as Morgan stood behind the younger man. Alex looked at Morgan behind Reid, before nodding with a smile, “of course, sorry. I’ll let you go back to your hotel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The team nodded at the man, before he walked away. They all watched with protective eyes as the man walked; they all felt inclined to protect their youngest friend from any potential threats. Even though, Alex was hardly a threat, they all still felt the need to protect Reid from him.

“Guys?” Reid asked, noticing his friends all staring at Alex. His heart was still beating rapidly, and he didn’t know if it was from seeing Alex so soon after his panic attack or how close Morgan and Hotch were standing near him. Reid didn’t know if it was Morgan _or_ Hotch.

“Right,” Hotch said, looking to Reid and then his friends, “everyone ready?”

The team looked at Hotch and then nodded, before following him and Reid out of the building and to the 2 black SUVs waiting for them. Once they walked outside, the sharp wind stung their cheeks. The black night sky was illuminated with the dazzling of the stars. The wind whistled in their ears and sped passed them to the tall trees near the police department, they were swaying and the branches creaked violently. There were no cars on the road, making the group feel isolated. They all braced themselves as the shrieking wind struck them again, before JJ, Reid and Hotch headed for the first car, whilst the other 3 headed for the second car. Both car rides were silent; they all, excluding Hotch and Rossi as they drove, watched the world beside them speed by. Every so often their road would be illuminated by a street light, but they were mostly depending on the SUVs headlights. And that made the drive more peaceful, more thoughtful. Regardless if they were driving or not, each member of the team all had a thought in their head that they continued to dwell on, their thoughts all becoming clear as they listened to purring of the engine on the smooth roads.

Rossi drove the second car; he drove carefully – though his mind was somewhere else. He thought of how the case was going nowhere and that they probably were expecting another body on Thursday morning. And that was also the thought on Emily’s mind, she was hoping that they would at least have found something out about the unsub. Something productive, something that they could give Garcia to help narrow their suspect pool down. Emily thought of how there was no chance of them finding anything else out about the unsub, they had exhausted all possible theories and ideas – and none helped them. Alex had no suspects, and therefore, neither did the BAU.  Of course, she thought, they had already questioned the victim’s families and partners, but none of them were capable of murder; especially not the murders of 4 men.

Morgan, who shared the car with Emily and Rossi, also sat in silence as he looked out his window, and thought. He was in the back seat, and felt as if he had more privacy. His mind was occupied with thoughts of Reid. Morgan felt as if Reid was constantly in his mind, and his life. Everything he did revolved around Reid. He even picked up extra sugar, just in case Reid came over for a coffee one day. But at the certain moment of time, the thought buzzing around Morgan’s mind was Reid’s broken looking eyes. The dull, soulless, broken looking eyes. The eyes that used to hold the world with brightness, compassion and huge chocolate orbs. But now, Reid looked at everything with fear that it was going to hurt him – and Morgan couldn’t blame him. He, too, wouldn’t trust anyone or anything again if he went through what Reid went through. Morgan thought about how Reid looked at Alex. He was so scared, terrified even, but regardless, he still shook his hand. At that moment, Morgan thought, even if it was just for a few seconds, that Reid was going to be okay and back to himself. But he was soon proven wrong.

JJ shared the car with Reid and Hotch, and sat in the back seat. She was leaning to look out of her window but her eyes were closed. She listened to purr of the car, and the wind howling outside. The atmosphere calmed the woman as she thought of home. JJ didn’t know why the first thought she had was of home, but it was. JJ thought of the warm coffee she had when she woke up, and the smells of the sandwich shop that she went into every day for either breakfast, lunch or sometimes even dinner. She thought of the rain that tapped on her bedroom windows as she tried to sleep, and the perfume she wore. Home.

Hotch was driving, but his mind was thoroughly occupied with Reid. Hotch thought of all the times he had to hold the younger man to calm down his panic attacks, or how many times he had to reassure him that he loved him. Hotch hated seeing Reid so _broken_ , there were no other words he could think of to describe Reid’s mental state. But he knew that he Reid wouldn’t let it show in his work, meaning he couldn’t make him take more time off. Hotch thought of how Reid was still willing to allow Hotch to touch him, maybe not sexually yet but he was still able to hold him, to hug him, kiss him, be there for him. He was so glad Reid had chosen him. But, there was still something, Hotch still had a feeling that Reid had some sort of feeling towards Morgan. He thought this because no one ever forgets their first love, regardless of the position. Everyone’s first love is incredible. It’s the first experience of every feeling rolled into one; lust, anger, happiness, sadness, confusion, greed, jealousy, love. No one forgets their first love, it’s impossible. Just as Hotch was with Hayley, he would never forget Hayley, but he didn’t have to see her every day, and he had a lot more time to get over her then Reid did with Morgan.

Reid sat in the front passenger seat. His head was leaning against the window as he listened to his own breath, every time he wasn’t focused on something, Jack entered his mind. And he couldn’t bare it any longer, so he told himself that he was to focus on something at all times. He couldn’t hear his voice, or see his face again. Reid quickly refocused on his breathing and counted all the times his chest rose. Once he grew bored of his own breathing, he turned quickly to face Hotch. He could tell Hotch was deep in thought as he drove, and he quickly spat out the first thing that came to mind, “there are 5.25 million accidents a year that involve driving. Around 43,000 people die a year, and 2.9 million people are injured.”

Hotch was dragged out his thoughts as he heard Reid’s voice, JJ also. “What?” Hotch asked with a chuckle, as he looked over to Reid.

“What I’m saying is, you should concentrate on the road,” Reid replied, his right hand fiddling nervously with his seatbelt as his other tapped on his knee.

“I was,” Hotch said looking back to the long stretch of a road, “until you said that.”

JJ laughed from the back, and Reid turned to face her, “do you want to know a fact about the person who sits in the back during the crash?”

She shook her head violently, “no, please, no.”

Hotch chuckled at her response, and Reid smiled as he turned back in his seat to face the front.

 

Soon enough, they were at the hotel. They all got out of the 2 cars and met at the exit of the parking lot. They group, excluding Reid, felt a rush of déjà vu. They remembered that it was a night like this that Reid got back into contact with Jack. It was also the night they all met him, and didn’t figure him out. It was the night his team felt they failed Reid.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” Rossi said, everyone agreed knowing they wanted and thought the same.

Reid looked around his friends and froze on the spot, “you all look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The rest of the team all looked at each other knowingly, before looking at Reid. Hotch took a step towards the man and put a hand on his shoulder, “it’s just been a long day and a hard case. We’re all just really tired.”

Reid was too tired to put much thought into it, and nodded. Hotch dropped his hand from Reid’s shoulder and they all walked into the hotel. They all piled into the elevator, and Morgan made sure he kept away from the buttons. Their floor was the second floor, so the ride was a quick one – and they were all too tired to even try and make a conversation. 

“Goodnight. See you all in the morning,” Hotch said, as they made their way to their rooms.

“Goodnight,” everyone mumbled.

Hotch and Reid had separate rooms, even though they were next to each other, and Morgan’s room was next to Reid’s. Everyone went into their rooms, all except Hotch and Reid who stood outside their doors, and Reid’s door was open. “Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight?” Hotch asked.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me, Hotch,” Reid replied with a frown. After their conversation in the car about car accidents, Reid entered his mind and explored his thoughts on the relationship he shared with Hotch. Many thoughts were flooding his mind, but one especially stuck out; Hotch was always there for Reid, regardless of how small the problem was or what the time was, Hotch was always there, taking care of him. And that thought radiated guilt throughout Reid’s body. He didn’t want to be such a burden, especially not for Hotch.

Hotch blinked at the younger man in shock, before shaking his head with a frown, “I don’t feel like that at all. I’m pretty sure you can take yourself. But I love you, and I want to be there for you.”

Reid searched his brain for a reply, but he couldn’t think of one, for a first. His head was thumping and his chest hurt, so he did the only thing he knew how to – run. He turned away from Hotch and quickly walked into his room, slamming the door behind him. He leant against the door, and closed his eyes as he listened to his own breathing. After half a minute, he heard Hotch’s door slowly open and then close. And that’s when it hit him. Hotch just told him he loved him, and he slammed the door in his face. That was the one thing Reid begged Hotch not to do to him during the past 3 weeks, and instead, he did it to him. Reid groaned loudly and banged his closed fist back at the door, before walking away from the door and heading for his bed. He sat down on the edge and took his phone out of his trouser pocket. He unlocked it and began typing a message to Hotch. _I am so sorry, I love you_ , but before he sent it, he erased it. Reid knew he messed up and a text couldn’t fix that. “I’m such an idiot,” he muttered loudly, as he threw his phone behind him on the bed and his head fell into his hands.

“That’s right, kid.” Said a voice.

Reid shot up and looked around his room, but no one was there. “What the hell?” He asked, his heart beating erratically in his chest as panic started to emit through the boy.

“The walls are super thin,” said the voice again.

He walked to the right side of the room and to the wall, “Morgan?” He asked.

“That’s me,” he laughed.

“Can you possibly not listen into my room?” Reid asked, shocked by the whole situation, though as shocked as he was, his nerves calmed at the sound of Morgan’s voice.

“I could, but then you’d have to stop being so loud,” Morgan laughed.

Before Reid could reply, he heard another voice, “that means you’d have to stop being so loud, too, Morgan.”

“Was that Hotch?” Morgan howled in laughter.

Reid groaned loudly, throwing his head into his hands, “I’m going to have to get a new room.” He heard Morgan’s loud laugh, and Hotch’s light chuckle. “I’m going for a shower, please don’t have any conversations through my room. Text each other if you have to, but please don’t talk.” Reid spoke loudly.

“Yes, sir.” Morgan replied, still laughing.

As soon as Reid was about to enter the bathroom, he heard his phone go off. He rushed back into his room and picked his phone up off the bed. “Reid,” he answered.

“Hi, baby boy.” Spoke Garcia.

“Hey,” Reid said with a confused tone.

“After all this time, I don’t think we’ve had _the_ conversation,” she replied.

“What conversation?” Reid asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“You know, _the_ conversation – the battle of Spencer Reid’s heart.” Garcia spoke with a wicked smile.

Reid groaned and fell back onto his bed, “this really isn’t the time.”

Garcia made a noise of exasperation, “you said that last time!”

“I know, but trust me, it definitely isn’t now,” he spoke, he knew that both of the men in the rooms next to him could hear his side of conversation, and he definitely wasn’t in the mood for any more drama, “how about when I’m back in D.C., we go out and get some coffee and talk about it? For as long as you want.”

“O.M.G.” Garcia squealed excitedly, “deal! A definite done deal.”

Reid grimaced at the squeal, “alright. Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Goodnight, Reid!”

“You too,” Reid sighed, before Garcia ended the call. He sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, his head sunk into his hands as he groaned loudly. He was so damn annoyed with all the questions and people constantly wanting to know what was going on in his life.

“Who was that?” Morgan asked through the wall.

Reid looked to the right side of his room. “none of your business.”

“Alright, alright. I was only asking,” Morgan replied. Reid knew instantly, just by the sound of Morgan’s voice, a smile was plastered along his lips.

His phone then vibrated in his hand, he looked down and saw he had a text from Hotch. **_Is everything ok? X_**

He sighed at the text before putting it down onto his bed and walking into the bathroom, and starting the shower. By the thinness of the walls, Reid knew Hotch could hear his shower. Reid felt guilty for what he had done to him by the door, and then for ignoring his text but he felt _too_ bad to make it up to him.

 

Reid was right, Hotch did hear the shower. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, with his phone dancing in his fingers, but once he heard Reid’s shower start, he put the phone down beside him with a sigh. On one hand, he was glad the walls were so thin, so he could check up on Reid; but he also disliked the walls being thin as _everyone_ around them could hear everything if the volume was as at a specific level. But that wasn’t the thing playing on Hotch’s mind; it was how Reid closed the door on his face. He knew Reid wasn’t feeling okay and needed time to get better, but he just wished he let him in all the way to help him, and not distance himself away from him. And then the phone call, Hotch wished he knew who he was talking to – especially considering Reid had decided to meet up with the _stranger_. Hotch sighed and laid back onto his back, he just wanted to be back near Reid; to have his scent surround him.

So, Hotch laid there, waiting for Reid’s shower to finish before he could text him again.

Reid definitely took his time in the shower. He spent most of the time, standing and thinking as the water washed the nasty thoughts and notches out of his back, relaxing his muscles. He sighed into the warmth of the water, before realising he had finished. Reid didn’t want to get out, he wanted to stay in there forever. But he knew he was being ridiculous, he knew that he was only trying to avoid Hotch and everyone else. So, with another sigh, he shut off the shower and got out. Reid grabbed the white towel hanging on the door, and wrapped it around his waist, before walking out of the bathroom and into his bedroom.

“Nice shower?” Morgan asked through the wall.

Reid rolled his eyes and muttered, loud enough for Morgan to hear, “shut up.” Morgan laughed and Reid heard his bed squeak against the wall, “goodnight, Morgan.”

“You know, Reid, if you really want to keep talking to me, we might as well get rid of the wall between us,” Morgan flirted, forgetting that Hotch could also hear the conversation.

“Yeah, we could. But, if I wanted someone to share my room with someone, wouldn’t I ask my boyfriend?” Reid smiled.

Morgan sucked a breath in, “oh, you break my heart, pretty boy.”

He let out a chuckle, as he dropped his towel and slipped on the underwear and grey joggers that he left on his bed. He sat down and picked his phone up to a text from Hotch. **_If you need me, I’m right here. Don’t be ashamed to ask for me. You know I only want to be with you. I love you. X_**

Reid frowned sadly, he missed not being with Hotch, “I love you, too.”

“That better not be for me, pretty boy,” Morgan spoke with a confident tone.

“Only because you want it to be, Morgan,” Reid teased.

Morgan laughed, “yeah, right. Hotch would shoot me.”

It was then that Hotch finally spoke, “damn right I would.”

Reid shook his head and chuckled, as Morgan howled in laughter. “I’m going bed, goodnight guys,” Reid said with a smile.

“Goodnight, kid,” Morgan replied.

“Goodnight, Reid,” Hotch said with a soft voice. He shuddered at the softness of Hotch’s voice. He needed him, he needed Hotch’s comfort. His soothing voice as he helped him sleep, the circles he rubbed on his back. Reid missed, and needed his boyfriend – the man he loved.

Reid got into his bed, and flicked the lights off. Hotch was right, he was too ashamed to ask for the man he loved. He laid there, staring up at the bland ceiling. He was tired, so tired, but every time Reid tried to close his eyes, they were shot back open. An hour passed and it was soon 2 am. He huffed and turned onto his side, but the bed was too cold. He wrapped the blanket tighter around him, but it failed. Reid then realised what it was and what he needed – or, who he needed. He turned back over to his back and grabbed his phone from the bedside table.

_I need you._

The young man put the phone back and flicked the lights back on, before sitting up. He fidgeted with his hands as he waited nervously. And soon enough, a door being opened and closed was heard. Before a couple of footsteps, and were then stopped outside of Reid’s door. Reid jumped up and stalked over to the door, before looking through the peephole. He saw him; Hotch. Reid’s heart paced and a smile forced its way onto his lips. He opened the door as quietly as possible and looked at the man who was also wearing grey joggers, along with a tight _ish_ black top, with socks.

“Hey,” Reid said quietly, just above a whisper.

Hotch nodded, “hi.”

Reid opened the door wider, and Hotch walked in. He made sure the door closed just as quiet as the way he opened it. They both stood awkwardly in the room, not knowing what to say or what to do. But soon enough, Hotch spoke, “I’m sorry about before.”

Reid shook his head quickly, “no, please don’t apologise. It’s my fault; I’m the one who overreacted.”

“No, I shouldn’t have pushed your boundaries,” Hotch frowned.

“Who else will?” Reid smiled.

Hotch chuckled and leant forwards, wrapping his arms around the younger man. Reid smiled at the needed comfort and wrapped his arms around the man. They hugged tightly for a moment, before Hotch pulled away. Without saying a word, he took the younger man’s hand and pulled him to the bed. “What was wrong?” Hotch asked, as they got in the bed, “was it Jack?”

Reid shook his head sadly, “no, I just missed you.”

Hotch smiled back at the man, and slowly raised his hand to stroke the younger man’s cheek, “I missed you, too.”

As they lay there, both staring into each other’s eyes with slight smiles on their faces, everything around them was forgotten; Jack, the case, Morgan in the next room, everything. And that was evident to Morgan, _very evident_ , as heard the moans and groans coming from the two men. The man laid in his bed, horrified as he heard the 2 men in the room. He always pushed the thought of Hotch and Reid having sex out of his mind, but actually hearing it broke his heart. Morgan tried his hardest to drown the noises out, but it was impossible. He stared up at the ceiling with his heart in his stomach, leaving an empty hole in his chest, with tears in his eyes as others rolled down his face. Soon enough, his cries weren’t able to remain silent. Morgan placed a hand over his mouth, trying his hardest to stifle his sobs, but it wasn’t working; he turned to his side and grabbed the pillow next to him, and pulled it into his chest. He hugged the pillow tightly as he buried his face into it, gasping for breath and banging his fist into it and the bed as he tried his hardest to bury the pain.

 

 

“How did everyone sleep?” Hotch asked as they all ate breakfast.

“Fine,” all but two replied.

Morgan didn’t dare look up from his plate, he had no appetite and had barely said a word all morning. “Morgan?” Hotch asked.

He looked up with all the courage he had, “yeah?”

“Is everything okay?” He asked.

Everyone then looked to Morgan with confused looks, “yeah, I’m fine. The bed wasn’t as comfortable as I hoped,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hotch nodded and they all went back to their food, whilst Morgan played with what was on his plate. The team had to leave for the station in 20 minutes, but he wished for nothing more than to go back to work and just distract himself from what was going on in his mind.

Reid was happy. He was happier than he had been in a long time, 3 weeks to be exact, and he only had Hotch to thank for that. But something in his gut was churning, and he didn’t know why – he felt as if something was wrong, or something was about to go wrong. If only he looked directly in front of him, and he would have saw the pain etched on Morgan’s face.

After a few minutes, all except Morgan, had clear plates. “Everyone ready?” Morgan asked.

“Are you?” Hotch asked, looking at his plate then back up to Morgan.

Morgan blinked at the man before nodding, “yeah. I’m not hungry.”

Hotch kept his eyes on the man for a moment, watching him, before nodding, “let’s get going, then.” The team all nodded and stood up, thanking the staff before walking out of the hotel and to their cars. “Reid, I want you and Rossi to go back to the most recent victims house. Look over everything, don’t leave anything unturned. We need to find _something_ that will lead to a suspect,” Hotch spoke.

Rossi and Reid nodded, and headed to the first SUV. Before Emily asked, “Hotch, can I go? I’d like to talk to the wife again.”

He thought for a moment, before nodding, “of course.”

Emily smiled and quickly caught up to the two men, and told them what was going on. Hotch, JJ and Morgan watched as Reid let the woman sit in the front as Rossi drove. Hotch scoffed softly, as Emily playfully poked Reid’s face, as he swatted the hand away and got into the car.

“Good luck, Spence,” JJ chuckled lightly.

Hotch smiled at JJ, and the remaining 3 then all headed to their own SUV. Hotch getting into the driver’s seat, Morgan beside him in the passenger seat, and JJ in the back.

 

 

And soon enough, they were all once again back in the conference room in the station.  They had made little progress. The team were talking about the information they already had, and had come to the conclusion that most evidence from the victims shown that they were _all_ having affairs.

“Maybe it’s an unsub going after people who sin?” Emily asked.

“Religious killings?” Hotch asked.

Emily shrugged, “maybe. _Thou shall not commit adultery; thou shall not steal_.”

“They’re too organised to be a killer trying to please God. But, you may be onto something,” Rossi nodded, with thoughtful eyes, “the unsub might be going after victims who had committed crimes in the past, and tried to turn their lives around. But what if it’s also about the affairs? The unsub might be going after these men because of the wrong decisions they’ve made?”

“So, we need to protect ex-criminals who are cheating on their partners?” Emily cocked her eyebrow “we can start with my ex.”

The team smirked at her comment, before returning back to Rossi’s idea. “Maybe you’re right,” Hotch spoke, “I think it’s time to give our profile.”

 

They gave their profile to the police officers, they silently made notes and asked questions where appropriate. Of course, to them, they only noted the _important_ parts, such as; the unsub being someone who had knowledge of past criminal records, someone who worked for the government and had access to where the men lived and their routines, someone who lived somewhat in the middle of all the dump sites.

Once the profile was given out, Hotch thanked the officers and watched as they all stood up and proceeded to research for the unsub with the new information they were given. Hotch and the rest of the agents, made their way back to the conference room to try and narrow their pool of suspects, with the help of Garcia. Before Alex stopped them, by once again asking for Reid. They turned around and saw as Alex quickly walked to them with a mug in his hand, Reid took a step forward and stood in front of the group, “Harris?” He asked.

“Please call me Alex. Everyone calls my dad Harris,” Alex nodded before pushing the steaming mug towards Reid, “I know you like coffee – with a lot of sugar, but try this.”

Reid narrowed his eyes suspiciously, before warily taking the mug, “it’s not poisoned, is it?”

JJ snickered from behind at Reid’s question. And Alex smiled, “it’s not poison. I know we’re all super busy on the case, and you look particularly tired and stressed. This will help.”

Morgan, from behind, was reminded of why Reid was so tired and his mood quickly shifted, once again. But he kept a straight face, as his eyes wandered sadly to the floor. Reid eyed Alex, as he grinned at him, before he sighed and took a sip of the drink. He felt the hot, sweet liquid slide down his throat and he enjoyed the taste – a lot. “This is actually really good. What is it?” Reid asked, in surprise, lowering the mug. Hotch was staring at Reid, before his glare fixed securely on Alex.

Alex laughed, “it’s a secret recipe, sorry.”

“Aw, come on, you can’t give this to me and not tell me what it is.” Reid grinned. He could feel eyes staring into the back of his head, but he couldn’t understand why.

“Sorry,” Alex smiled and winked, before walking away, leaving Reid staring at the back of his head.

He turned around to face the rest of the team with narrow and confused eyes, “did he just…” He began before Hotch cut him off.

“Flirt with you? Yes,” Hotch replied with a straight face, his eyes staring after Alex as he proudly walked away.

“Right,” Reid replied quietly before taking another sip of the hot drink.

“Hey, can I have some of that?” Emily asked, looking into the mug with intrigued eyes.

“No way, find your own detective who has a secret recipe,” Reid said, pulling the mug closely to his chest.

The team chuckled at Reid, before walking into the conference room and calling Garcia – quickly getting back to work. But none of the results that came back fit their profile, and they were stuck, once again. As they worked, trying their hardest to avoid all dead ends, JJ spoke, “Spence, did you honestly have no idea Alex was flirting with you?”

Reid looked up to the blonde woman, who sat next to him, before shaking his head, “no.”

“How could you not tell?” Emily then asked, as she joined in on the conversation, sitting down next to JJ. The women briefly smiled at each other before they both looked back to Reid.

The younger man thought for a moment as he squinted his eyes and looked at the women, “I guess because it never happens, I don’t notice it when it does.”

Hotch scoffed in the back, as he was staring at the board. Morgan and Rossi had joined those at the table at that point to join in the conversation, but all heads turned to face Hotch. “What?” Reid asked, sitting back in his chair.

Hotch turned around to face his team and an amused smile was ghosted on his lips, “it took you 2 and a half months to realise I had feelings for you.”

“Damn, Spence,” JJ whined, looking back at her friend.

“On my behalf,” Reid said pointedly as he looked around his friends before his eyes remained back on Hotch, “you never once made it clear. How was I supposed to know, that _my boss_ had feelings for me?”

“The prodigy has a point, Aaron. You are his boss, the thought wouldn’t have crossed his mind,” Rossi replied with a nod.

It was then JJ’s turn to but in, “but 2 and a half months? Nothing can go unnoticed for that long.” Her elbows were leaning on the table as she spoke to Rossi.

“Really?” Morgan asked, as he sat next to Emily. He looked at JJ with a cocked eyebrow, as his eyes flickered between her and Emily.

JJ’s eyes widened and her cheeks reddened, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you, Emily?” Morgan asked with a smile, turning his whole body in his chair to face Emily.

“Nope,” Emily replied quickly, looking down to the case file, “no idea at all.”

Morgan’s eyes remained locked on the two women with smiles, before Rossi cleared his throat. “Anyway,” he began, “Reid, what I think Aaron is trying to say, is that he’s jealous.”

“What?” Reid and Hotch asked in sync as they stared at Rossi with wide eyes.

Tension was instantly removed from the women and Morgan, as they grinned and chuckled at the 3 men. “Hotch isn’t jealous,” Reid shook his head adamantly.

“Really?” Rossi asked with a cocked eyebrow and a knowing smile.

Reid looked at the man, before slowly turning to look at Hotch with furrowed eyebrows. He looked up to the man and saw how Hotch was staring at the back of Rossi’s head with stern eyes and a tense jaw. His face was tight, his left hand was clenched into a tight fist. Reid watched him for another second before concluding his thoughts, “you’re jealous.”

Hotch tore his eyes away from Rossi’s head, as everyone then turned to face him, as he looked at Reid, “have you noticed every time a personal subject comes up, we’re always around our team?” Reid’s lips formed a small smile, as his eyes asked Hotch the question, before his mouth gave him the chance.

 “Alex is an attractive man, who’s more suitably based in your age group. He has a clear interest in you, and I doubt he still wouldn’t try to pursue you if he knew we were together,” Hotch spoke with a tight face, his back straight and eyes pinned on Reid.

Reid suddenly felt very sorry for Hotch. The man was insecure. Reid sighed, “yes, Alex is attractive. And yes, he is more my age, and yes, it’s obvious he always gets what he wants – regardless of it being an object or partner. But, he is not you. If I wanted to be with someone else, I would. I’d rather be sitting here, convincing you that Alex means nothing more to me than any other detective we have worked with, than out there with him,” Reid took a deep breath as he looked around and realised he was rambling, “what I mean is, that I love you. And I don’t want to be with anyone else other than you. So there truly isn’t need for you to be jealous.”

Eyebrows were raised and mouths were slightly left ajar as the heard Reid speak, spilling out his thoughts in front of his friends. But Reid’s eyes remained glued onto Hotch, and his remained glued onto Reid. A small smile then moved his way up Hotch’s eyes as it reached his eyes, before he tore his eyes away from the younger man, and he turned back around to face the board.

Reid smiled to himself and his eyes also found their way back down to the table where his case file sat. He opened it up and began to read it once more, completely ignoring and avoiding everyone else as they stared at him.

 

 

 “Hotch, can I go and check the most recent dump site? I might have missed something,” Reid asked eventually.

Hotch looked up to the man with wide eyes, “take someone with you.”

“I know you don’t like us going out into the field alone, but I need some air and I think better alone,” Reid shook his head.

He watched the man with steady, but worried eyes. He thought for a moment, he didn’t want Reid to go out by himself but he knew Reid had to learn how to become his own person once again. “At least have someone drive you?”

But before Reid could decline Hotch’s offer, a voice spoke from the door, “I will.”

They all turned to face, once again, Alex. “Sorry?” Hotch asked.

“I’ll drive him, I don’t mind,” Alex shrugged.

“It’s not necessary, thank you, though,” Reid smiled.

Alex shook his head, “don’t be silly. I insist.”

Reid looked at the man for a moment, before sighing in defeat, “only if you tell me what the drink was?”

He laughed at the response, “I’ll think about it. Give me two minutes to bring my car around.”

Reid nodded, and watched as the man walked out of the room and towards the exit of the building. Once he was out of sight, Reid turned in his seat to face his friends – who were all staring at him with raised eyebrows. “What?” He asked.

“You’ll go with him, but not me?” Hotch asked, leaning back in his seat.

“It’s a ride,” Reid replied plainly.

“One that you were quite adamant about not having a couple of minutes ago,” he replied.

“Oh, please don’t get loud again,” Morgan muttered, resting his head in his hands.

Hotch and Reid, along with everyone else, then looked at Morgan with wide eyes. “What?” Reid and Hotch asked in sync.

Morgan sighed restlessly before looking up at the two men, “I told you the walls were really thin,”

Reid’s cheeks reddened and his mouth dried up, “right, well, I’m leaving. Right now. Yeah, right now. I need to go, now.”

Hotch’s cheeks were burning a slight crimson colour as his eyes were glued onto Morgan, whilst the rest of the team stifled their laughter. Before Reid clumsily stood up and quickly headed to the door, before Morgan swallowed his sadness – and guilt from exposing the two men. “Hey, Reid?” He called.

Reid quickly turned around awkwardly with wide eyes, “yeah?” His voice was unusually high.

“Be careful, and keep something around for protection,” Morgan smiled.

His cheeks became even more red and his eyes widened even more, his voice even higher, “what?”

“I mean with Alex. There’s a killer about,” Morgan replied.

The team then burst out into laughter, including Hotch, as they watched Reid, obviously embarrassed, quickly walk out of the room and made his way to the exit.

“That was mean, Morgan,” Emily laughed.

“The kid knows I was joking,” Morgan laughed, before looking at Hotch who was had a slight smile against his lips, “though, I was only joking at the end.”

Hotch perked up and looked at Morgan with once again wide eyes, “so you really…”

“Yup,” Morgan grinned darkly.

 

 

Reid got into the car, with his cheeks still red, smiling at Alex.

“Everything ok?” Alex asked, noticing the red cheeks.

Reid nodded quickly, “yeah. Just the wind.” He nodded back, and started the car, with his heart thumping against his chest. Reid noticed Alex’s fingers drumming nervously against the wheel as he drove, and the way his chest arose quickly. “Are _you_ ok?”

Alex quickly looked back at Reid before gulping – he seemed almost _guilty._ “Yeah, thanks.”

Reid smiled slightly at the man before they both looked away. After 40 minutes, Reid looked out of the window and noticed something different. They weren’t heading towards the dump site. He then looked back to Alex and saw something in his lap, handcuffs. His mind then flickered back to the victims and saw the strange indentations on their wrists, they knew the victims were bound – but they never thought it was anything more than rope, but now Reid realised they were handcuffed. Everything began to piece together in his mind, and he suddenly became aware of the situation. “I’m just going to ring my team to tell them we’re on the way to the scene,” Reid said with a smile.

Alex thought for a moment before nodding, and concentrated back on the road ahead of him. With a steady hand, Reid got out his phone and rang the first number that he thought of. He heard the ringing in his ear, before it was _finally_ picked up.

“Reid?” Hotch asked.

“Hey, Aaron, we’re on the way to the site now. Heading north,” Reid said with an excited voice.

“Reid, what’s going on?” Hotch asked, looking to the rest of the team before putting the call on loud speaker, he knew something was wrong.

“Please tell Derek that I found the joke about handcuffs not very funny, they would be too tight on my wrists,” he forced out a chuckle.

Morgan then spoke with his heart jumping against his chest, “is it Alex?”

“I can confirm that,” Reid replied.

“Oh, God,” Emily replied worriedly.

“Is there anyone else in the car?” Hotch asked.

“I’m afraid I can’t confirm that,” Reid steadily spoke.

“Are you heading towards the dump site?” Morgan asked.

Reid looked out of the window, and then quickly faced Alex, “Hey, Alex, how far are we from the site?”

“About 20 minutes,” Alex answered plainly.

“It’s only a 15-minute drive from here, Hotch. They should be there already,” JJ said with a worried voice.

Reid then looked behind him to the back seats and saw a plastic sheet. He tried his hardest not to show the fear and worry in his face or voice, as he turned back to face the front. “Oh, sir, can you also remind Derek that we need to take the plastic back to my seat when we’re back in D.C.?”

“The plastic is in the back seat,” Morgan groaned fearfully.

“Spencer, stay calm. We’re on our way, okay?” Hotch spoke softly, before the whole team quickly stood up and Morgan dialled Garcia’s number to track Reid’s call. “I need you to keep talking to me okay, Reid. Garcia needs more time to track the call.”

Reid’s breathing quickened, “I understand.” But then he noticed that the car was stopping, he faced Alex, “this isn’t the site, Alex.” They had stopped in the middle of nowhere, with only grass and an empty road surrounding them.

“I know,” he spoke calmly, “I need you to put the phone down.”

“I’m sorry?” Reid asked, trying to seem as normal as possible.

Alex then sighed before lunging forward and pulling Reid’s gun out of his holster and Reid yelped in shock. “Reid?” Hotch asked loudly through the phone.

Reid slowly lowered his phone to the side of his leg, but still close enough so Hotch and the others could hear the call. “That’s my gun, Alex. I need my gun.”

“There’s no around for you to shoot,” he stated, examining the revolver closely.

“I know and I don’t plan to shoot anyone, but I need it. Can I have it back?” Reid asked calmly.

Alex looked up to Reid with dark eyes, “get out of the car.”

“Why?” He asked.

The man was evidently getting stressed and angry with Reid, he scratched the top of his own head with Reid’s gun, before turning to point it at Reid, “get out or I will shoot you.”

“Okay,” Reid spoke slowly and softly, raising his phone-free hand, “I’m getting out.”

Reid slowly got out of the car, still holding the phone tightly in his right hand. He couldn’t hear anything through the call, meaning Hotch and Garcia had muted themselves from Reid’s call, and could only speak to each other. His heart was thumping against his chest as he stood on the ground, and watched as Alex also got out of the car, though keeping the gun pointed at Reid. Usually in these circumstances, Reid was good at keeping himself calm and then also calming the unsub, but after Jack, he couldn’t. He didn’t want the same thing to happen again, and the 6 people who listened to what was going on also knew that.

“Kneel,” Alex ordered, standing in front of Reid.

Reid’s heart thumped harder as his mind flashed to Jack. Alex waved the gun at Reid, before Reid slowly got onto his knees, secretly placing the phone on the floor.

_The 5 people in the car listened to what was going on, and their hearts also thumped. “What’s he going to do?” JJ asked._

_“I don’t know,” Hotch breathed, as Morgan pushed the accelerator down harder._

Reid watched the man with fearful eyes, “can you put the gun away?”

“Why, does it scare you, Agent Reid?” Alex asked, holding Reid’s face.

 “No, but I’d be more inclined to talk if there wasn’t a gun pointed in my face,” he mumbled, as the grip on his chin and cheeks tightened.

“Isn’t there anything else you’d want to do other than talk?” Alex asked slowly.

_“Please, God, no,” Emily muttered._

_“He won’t, will he?” Morgan asked fearfully, looking to Hotch._

_“It wasn’t in his profile?” Hotch said, breathing harder._

“What do you want to do, Alex?” Reid asked. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to push all the memories of what Jack did out of his mind, he wanted to push the thoughts of what Alex _might_ do out of his mind.

“I mean; we could always start with this?” He said slowly, putting the gun in his pocket.

_The team held their breaths as they couldn’t hear anything. No noise was coming out of the phone. But then, they all jumped as a loud smack and a groan came from the phone._

Reid fell onto his left side, and held his cheek from where Alex punched him. He immediately recognised the familiar taste of blood in his mouth, but before he could react, he was pulled up by his hair. He groaned painfully, and was met with Alex’s dark eyes. “That was a good start, right?”

Reid didn’t reply, but glared at Alex before he spoke again. “You know, I found your file. You never stole, which was a downer for me – but you did cheat.”

“What?” Reid asked weakly.

“Once you set foot in my station, I knew. I could tell by the way you looked at him. It wasn’t hard to guess. But then I read that you had _sex_ with another man, how could you?” Alex spoke with such emotion.

“I never cheated on him,” Reid breathed.

“Last time I checked, having sex with someone other than your partner _is_ cheating,” he frowned sarcastically, “even if it was rape.” Reid’s eyes fluttered at the word, and bile rose in his throat. “What did he do, Agent Reid?” Alex asked, coming closer to Reid’s face.

“Nothing,” Reid mumbled.

“It’s not that you don’t want me to know, it’s the people on the phone that you don’t want to tell. Isn’t that right?” He looked at the phone on the floor knowingly, before looking back to Reid.

Reid’s breathing quickened even more in fear, “I don’t want to tell you.”

He shook his head angrily, before tightening his grip on Reid’s brown hair and punching his right cheek once more. “Tell me!” He shouted.

Reid closed his eyes tightly and pursed his lips, expecting another blow from the man as he refused to tell him what he wanted. Even though Reid was a profiler, and a genius, he didn’t want to tell Alex anything – even when he knew it would save his life. Instead of getting hit, he felt the familiar cold steel pressed onto his forehead. He opened his eyes and saw Alex holding his own revolver to his forehead, “tell me what happened.” Alex’s voice was low, dark, and just evil.

“Fine,” Reid whispered.

He removed the revolver, and stared widely at Reid. He took a big gulp and began his story, “me and Jack were friends, we had been friends since we were kids, we grew up in Las Vegas together. And then when we were older, we developed a relationship. We hoped it would last, but once Jack was old enough, he moved. He left without a reason, and just moved to Texas. I figured it was because he was confused and wasn’t emotionally invested in the relationship as I was. But then there was a case in Texas around a couple of months ago, and Jack saw me on the news. He got my number and wanted to meet, he just told me he wanted to talk, to apologise. So, I agreed, but then I saw my team and realised that it was wrong of me to meet an ex-partner when I was seeing someone, someone who I loved, so I cancelled. But then he told me he loved me. Anyway, more than 3 weeks ago, there was a new case. A weird one, and I got drugged. I was abducted from the hospital, and when I woke up I was in a cell. And Jack was there. He told me things, and I realised he was the unsub for the case we were working on, he did it all for me. And then he took me to the house and to his room. He tied me to the bed, and took off my clothes; at first, he was soft, gentle, even, but when I asked him to stop and just talk, he got angry – he bit me, all over my chest, and my shoulders. He bit me until I was bleeding and that aroused him even more, and then he raped me.

‘When he was done, he asked me if I was okay. But I didn’t reply, and so he got worried – he untied me from the bed and shook me until I said I was okay. Then he tied me back up and cleaned the blood from the bite marks, and what was dripping down my leg. And then he did it all over again. But this time it was different, he was saying things. Telling me what he was going to do to me. And then when I resisted or told him to stop, he did. And then he told me that if I stopped him again, he’d get Hotch and do it to him. So, I let him carry on. After the fourth time, he untied me, dressed me and carried me out to the barn. He put me on my knees and forced himself into my mouth, and soon after that, my team came. They saved me, and they saved me again in the hospital when I tried so hard to disassociate myself from everything; but honestly, I’d rather be dead than having to wake up every night from nightmares from what he did, and seeing the scars which he left. Or seeing him in the mirror, all over me. Because right now, I’d rather be dead.” By the time Reid had finished, he had tears spilling down his face.

Alex was staring at the man with emotion, his mouth was ajar and his grip on Reid’s hair had loosened. He struggled to find the words, but once he did, they stumbled out nervously, “that was never in the file.”

“What wasn’t?” Reid replied quietly, tears still falling.

“It said in the file that it was only once, and that it was only for a few minutes before your team stopped him,” he said barely above a whisper.

“I asked them to write that. I didn’t want everyone knowing what happened to me,” Reid whimpered.

Alex then looked at Reid’s phone on the floor and his eyes widened in… _guilt? Remorse?_ “You hadn’t told your friends, and now they know. All because of me.”

Reid closed his eyes and his head dropped, his breath hitched in his throat as he cried, “kill me please,” he begged.

“No,” Alex said, letting go of Reid and taking a step back, and dropping the gun on the floor.

“You were going to. Please just kill me,” Reid begged again.

But before Alex could reply, sirens were heard. And then a familiar black SUV, along with several police cars and an ambulance, parked right beside them. Reid fell further to the floor and cradled his head as more tears fell. His team slowly got out of the car and all eyes were glued onto Reid. However, Rossi took the initiative and grabbed Alex and held him tightly with his hands behind his back; he handed him over to Morgan and Morgan quickly took him to one of the police cars, but before he put him inside, Alex spoke. “In his story, he said Jack blackmailed him with Hotch.”

“They love each other,” Morgan said, anger burning within him at Alex.

“But that’s the thing. When I mentioned earlier that I saw the way Reid looked at _him_ , I meant the man he loved. But, he wasn’t looking at Hotch that way – it was you.” Alex stared back at the man.

The anger surging through Morgan increased, and he threw Alex into the car, slamming the door behind him, before walking back to his team – who were still standing away from Reid, staring at the damaged man.

Eventually, Hotch slowly walked over to the man. He knelt beside him and rubbed circles onto Reid’s back. Reid sat up and looked at the man with red, tearful eyes. “Aaron?” He gulped.

A tear fell from Hotch’s eye as he nodded, “I’m so sorry, Spencer.”

“I never wanted you to find out what happened to me,” Reid replied barely above a whisper, with a hoarse voice.

Hotch reached forward and stroked the bruise forming on Reid’s right cheek, “I love you. I care about what happened, and I want to help you.”

“There’s nothing anyone can do to help, Aaron,” he whispered, as his eyes fell to the floor.

“Spencer…” He began, before being cut off by a paramedic, he dropped his hand from Reid’s face.

“Agent Reid? I need to take you back to the hospital,” the woman said with a soft voice, crouching down in front of Reid.

“I’m fine,” Reid said to the woman.

“We still need to look you over? We just want to make sure you’re okay,” she smiled sadly. Reid blinked at her before nodding at the woman. “Great. Can you stand?” She asked.

He thought for a moment, before sighing, “no.”

“Why?” The woman asked alarmed.

Hotch and the team held their breaths as they thought about what they could have missed over the call, before Reid answered quietly, “because I think I’m going to pass out.” And with that, he did. The last thing he heard was the panicked cry from Morgan, as he ran towards him, catching his head before he hit the ground.

 

JJ and Emily waited in Reid’s hospital room for him to wake up. The room was fairly big and well lit, but Reid’s body had a dark orb around him, and the two women could sense it. They were talking quietly amongst each other as they both sat on the same side of the room, to the right of Reid’s bed and next to the window.

“Do you think he’d want some Jello for when he wakes up?” Emily asked quietly.

“Definitely,” Reid groaned with his eyes still closed. Reid could feel his body stiffen with aches as his head stung in every way possible.

Emily and JJ quickly jumped up and stood next to Reid’s bed, “Spence,” JJ said with a breath.

He opened his eyes and met JJ’s soft, tearful eyes and warm smile. “What happened?” He asked.

“You passed out, the doc ran you for some tests but you’re fine. We can take you home as soon as you're ready,” Emily smiled.

Reid nodded at the woman before he looked back at JJ, sensing she was about to ask something, and he sat up. “Do you want to see the others?”

He thought for a moment before shaking his head sadly, “is it okay if it’s just you two for a while? You can tell them I’m awake though, just to ease their minds.”

“Of course, Spence,” JJ smiled and Emily nodded at the two before rubbing Reid’s chin softly and walking out of the room to tell the rest of the group. Reid then smiled sadly up at the blonde woman, and she took his hand supportively.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” JJ asked quietly.

“I’m not sure yet,” he said, staring blankly at the blanket across his body.

“That’s fine, Spence. Just know I’m here if you want to talk, you know where I am,” the blonde woman replied, getting Reid’s attention.

“Thank you, JJ,” Reid smiled, and gripped JJ’s hand tighter.

 

Emily walked into the waiting room and as soon as her friends saw her, they quickly stood up to meet her. “Is everything okay?” Hotch asked quickly. He was terribly worried and wanted nothing more than just to hear Reid was okay.

Emily let out a relieved sigh, “he’s fine.” Tears were entering her eyes as she looked at the worried men in front of her; though, she was unaware if the tears were sad or happy.

“He is?”  Morgan asked with a relieved voice.

“Yes. He just woke up and I’m sure he wants to go home,” the woman smiled.

“Can we see him?” Rossi asked. Rossi was also very worried, he felt terrible for Reid, and even somewhat responsible for what he had gone through.

A frown played upon Emily’s face, “he just wants to talk to me and JJ for a while.”

“He doesn’t want to see us?” Morgan asked, he was confused. He didn’t get why Reid didn’t want to see the rest of his friends, especially when he knew how worried they must have been.

“It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you. I think he just feels more comfortable talking to women at this point of time, he just needs a little while to readjust,” Emily replied, her eyes scanning the men in front of her with guilt. She hated telling them that Reid didn’t want to see them, especially knowing what she knew about what Hotch and Morgan felt for the younger man.

Realisation hit the 3 men as Emily spoke, they realised that JJ and Emily were of the gender that didn’t frighten or trigger Reid. “We understand,” Hotch nodded.

Rossi and Morgan also nodded at the woman with a sympathetic smile, watching her as she then walked away from the men and headed back to Reid’s room.

“Come on, we’ll see him on the jet, let’s go pack up,” Hotch spoke turning back to face Rossi and Morgan as they stared after Emily with lost looks.

 

The jet was cold, and JJ and Reid sat on either side of the couch, sharing a blue blanket. They were talking and laughing, as Emily read her book on the chair opposite the couch, as they waited for the 3 men. They were taking their time, a very long time, as they not only had to pack their own bags – but JJ’s, Emily’s and Reid’s, too. Of course, the men had offered – but now they deeply regretted it. The women had so many unnecessary things, make up, way too much extra clothes, and a lot of jewellery – some the men guaranteed they had never worn before. And then Hotch, Morgan and Rossi all went into Reid’s room and packed his stuff. Reid had the reasonable amount of stuff, only the stuff he needed. “This kid sure does know how to pack,” Rossi nodded at the organised fashion of how Reid kept his stuff.

“The only thing not organised is his books, I’m guessing,” Morgan scoffed.

Hotch chuckled as he neatly packed Reid’s shirt into the bag, “they are after I make him tidy them up.”

Rossi and Morgan chuckled lightly at Hotch’s remark, and they all silently carried on with the packing and cleaning. Eventually, they were climbing the steps of the jet. The 3 men were all incredibly nervous to see Reid again after the phone call they all heard. They felt guilty, and also responsible for what Jack did to Reid – _and_ how Alex abducted him. Morgan was in front, Hotch in the middle and Rossi at the back, Rossi patted Hotch’s back in support as they climbed the steps. And then they all entered the jet. They heard JJ’s soft and quiet voice, as they boarded.

“Hey,” Morgan said softly, and JJ and Emily turned to face the men, as Reid was facing away.

JJ quickly brought her finger to her lips and shushed the man, before pointing to Reid, “he’s asleep,” she whispered. Morgan walked to the seat next to the window with the table in front of him, before looking at Reid, and Hotch and Rossi followed.

“How long did you want to take?” Emily asked, as the men sat around the table.

“How much stuff do want to bring to a case?” Morgan asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Emily and JJ laughed quietly, before the atmosphere became serious. “How is he?” Rossi asked.

“Coping. I don’t think he wants to talk about it, it’s his way of dealing with it all,” Emily replied.

“Will it work?” Morgan asked.

“Yes,” Reid replied, just like in the hospital, with his eyes closed.

The team jumped in shock at the sudden noise from the man, who was supposedly asleep. “How many times do you want to do that today?” JJ asked, still shocked.

Reid kept his eyes firmly closed and spoke with a low, calm voice, “maybe you should stop letting me sleep then.”

“Maybe you should stop looking so adorable when you sleep then,” Emily teased, leaning forward and pinching his cheek.

Reid swatted the hand away and opened his eyes, staring at the woman. His gaze was stony, but also soft. “Was that necessary?”

“Yes,” Emily smiled, leaning back in her chair.

The youngest agent then sat up, letting the blanket fall to around his hips. He looked at JJ, who had moved to the chair opposite Emily, and smiled at her. She smiled softly back, but Reid then turned to see the 3 men staring at him. “Hi,” he muttered nervously.

“How you doing?” Rossi asked with a soft voice.

“Good. Thanks for asking,” Reid smiled.

“You sure, kid?” Morgan then asked. Morgan was sitting in chair opposite Rossi, next to the aisle, and was turned in his seat to look at Reid.

Reid nodded before thanking the man. His eyes then landed on Hotch, and Hotch was staring back at him with a worried and fearful expression. But before Reid could speak, the pilot asked them to belt up before take-off. Morgan moved over to the seat next to him, and Reid stood up; he was about to sit on the chair away from the rest of the group, before Morgan gestured for him to sit next to him. He thought for a second or two, before nodding and taking a seat next to the man, and opposite Rossi, who sat next to Hotch.

“Comfy, boys? I have a feeling there’s gonna be a storm,” Emily spoke.

“I hope not,” Rossi mumbled.

Reid smirked, and everyone belted themselves up. And not a minute later, they took off. Once they were able to take their belts off, Reid stood up, his back cracking as he did. The group sucked in a breath at the cracking and all turned to face Reid. “Damn,” Morgan winced.

Reid rubbed his back painfully, before smiling, “I’m getting old.”

“Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England,” Rossi mumbled sarcastically, as he looked back down to his book.

He smiled at the man, before walking to the coffee machine at the back of the jet. “Anybody want some?” Reid asked, popping out of the doorway to look at his friends. Hotch nodded in reply, before watching as Rossi let him get out of his seat. Hotch then walked to where Reid was, and stood next to him. “Coffee?” Reid asked again nervously, turning back to face the coffee machine.

“Reid, can we talk?” Hotch asked quietly.

“What about?” Reid questioned, pressing the button on the machine.

Hotch sighed and reached forward, putting his hand over Reid’s as his fingers tapped nervously against the worktop. Reid stopped tapping, as he felt Hotch’s hand over his, he looked down to the hands before looking up sadly to Hotch. “Please, not here.”

“Reid, please just let me say this one thing,” Hotch pleaded with his eyes.

He sighed in defeat, before slightly nodding. Hotch thanked the man by also nodding, “when I saw you in the barn, you looked terrified. And then when you tackled Jack, I saw your eyes, they looked _dead_ and _empty_. You looked so empty, Reid, and I just wanted to help you. Then, in the hospital you disappeared – you didn’t talk, look at anyone, you were frozen – and it broke my heart. And then again, when I heard what you said on the call, it broke my heart all over again. Hearing your voice as you spoke to Alex,” Hotch froze, he shook his head as tears fell out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, “I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t breathe, especially when you said that you let him because you didn’t want him to hurt me. I would have pleasantly let him hurt me 100 times over, if he let you go. I would die for you, Spencer. And hearing you say that you’d rather be dead – I can’t live without you. I love you so much, I love you too much to ever not have you in my life.” Hotch was freely crying at this point, he was quiet enough that the rest of the team couldn’t hear them talk, but he was loud enough for Reid to hear.

Reid was also crying, though his cries was silent. He removed his hand from under Hotch’s, and raised it to softly land on Hotch’s cheek. Hotch leaned into the touch, and closed his eyes. Reid wiped the tears away before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you. I was upset and said things I didn’t mean. I don’t want to leave you either, Hotch, I couldn’t ever do that to you – or to myself.”

Hotch opened his eyes and stared into Reid’s, “marry me?”

Reid widened his eyes in panic, and he quickly stopped crying, as his hand also dropped from Hotch’s cheek. “What?”

“Marry me,” he asked again, louder, as he also stopped crying.

_The team quickly shot up to look at the 2 men standing by the coffee machine. They all then looked around to each other with wide eyes and open mouths, “what did he just say?” Emily hissed._

_“He just proposed,” JJ gasped._

_The women quickly stood up and headed to where the other two men sat, and sat opposite them, with the table in between. “Guys?” JJ asked with a panicked voice._

_Morgan was staring at the two with painful eyes, “oh, God.”_

_Rossi looked at Morgan with guilty eyes, “Morgan. Are you okay?”_

_“I can’t breathe,” he gasped. Morgan’s heart was breaking, it was shattering right in front of his friends and no one could do anything other than watch._

Reid stared at Hotch and his breathing became erratic, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to say. But fortunately for him, the coffee machine beeped, and so did the speaker for the plane. “ _Can everyone please take their seats and belt up. There is a storm approaching._ ”

Hotch and Reid sighed, before Hotch turned around and sat where Emily originally sat. Reid didn’t follow, as he quickly filled his mug with coffee and _then_ walked back into where the others sat. Everyone’s eyes were on him, but he ignored the stares and walked to the other side of the jet, sitting far enough away from the team. Everyone belted up, and waited for the turbulence and rain. The atmosphere on the plane was awkward and _very_ tense. Morgan was seething with anger, and the 3 around the table could sense it. Emily and JJ smiled at Morgan every so often to try and calm him, but it wasn’t working. Reid was _reading_ a book in the corner of the jet, trying to calm his mind. His thoughts were all over the place and his eyes were staring blankly at the pages of the book; his breathing had finally calmed down but his heart definitely hadn’t.

And Hotch, he had finally crashed. He realised what he had done, and he realised how _stupid_ he had acted. It was only nearing 4 months since the relationship started, and he had already proposed. Hotch knew that he loved Reid and wanted their relationship to last a long time, Hotch could also see spending his life with Reid, but he knew 4 months was too quick. He sighed stressfully, and closed his eyes – waiting patiently for the flight to end.

 

The team awkwardly stood in the elevator, no one had really said anything since the flight. No one honestly knew what to say. The doors then _pinged_ open, and Reid was the first to exit, quickly walking out and towards his desk. The rest froze for a second, before then also walking out of the elevator and making their own way to their own desks or offices.

Everyone had papers to finish and reports to write up, so talk amongst the group was _very_ limited. They knew they all couldn’t leave until the most recent case was written up, so they all tried their hardest to write it up as quickly as possible so they could all go and unwind at home. But as Reid neared the end of the report, a voice called his name. He looked up and saw Strauss standing in the doorway of the glass doors, “can I speak to you in my office quickly?”

“Of course,” Reid said with a slight smile. She nodded and walked out of the room, and towards her office. Reid took this as his cue to follow the woman, and quickly stood up. He turned and saw JJ, Emily and Morgan all staring up at him from their desks with confused looks. Reid then turned behind him and also saw Rossi and Hotch standing on the balcony, looking down to him with the same look. “If I get it for something you all did, I will take you all down with me,” he muttered loudly to all of his friends, before walking away from his desk and towards the doors.

He heard them snigger behind him as he opened the doors, before walking out and to Strauss’ office. Once Reid reached her office, he knocked on the door and watched as she beckoned him in.

“Doctor Reid, please take a seat,” she spoke, taking her own seat and pointing to the one opposite her, in front of her desk. Reid awkwardly walked into her office, and took the offered seat, waiting for Strauss to tell him what the _talk_ was all about. And soon enough, she began, “what happened today?”

“Sorry?” Reid asked.

“I want you to show me you’re well enough to carry on working,” Strauss nodded.

“Is there an issue with the way I’m working?” Reid narrowed his eyes in confusion.

“No, of course not. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” a sympathetic smile playing upon her lips. 

“I’m fine, thank you. I’m doing a lot better,” he smiled.

Strauss watched him for a moment, “I would just like you to know that if you do need some time off, you can come and ask me for a longer break rather than asking Agent Hotchner. _We_ are all a team, and I want you to know I am someone you can talk to.”

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Reid replied sincerely.

She smiled before it dropped, “there is another thing,” her thin lips then turned upright into an amused grin, “I heard Agent Morgan was particularly rough with Alex Harris in the interrogation room.”

“He was?” Reid asked, shocked.

“Yes,” Strauss smiled.

“That’s strange,” his eyes thoughtful.

She looked knowingly at the man, “is it?” Reid was confused by the question, before Strauss’ eyes softened, “you are allowed to leave.”

“Thank you,” he nodded with a smile, before standing up and heading towards the door of her office. Once he reached the doors, he turned to Strauss and sincerely thanked her again. She nodded in response and went back to her work, and Reid walked back to his desk and back to his own work. Once he walked through the glass doors, all the eyes of his friends were on him, Hotch and Rossi were still on the balcony, leaning against the metal frame. They stood up straight once they saw Reid walk in.

He headed straight for Morgan’s desk, and leant down to him, “can I talk to you for a second?” He asked quietly.

Morgan looked up to Reid and watched him for a moment before speaking, “sure.”

Reid nodded and stood up straight, and led Morgan to where the coffee machine sat. Reid prepared himself a cup of coffee and he spoke quiet enough so the rest of the team couldn’t hear their conversation, “so I heard you handled Alex quite roughly.”

Morgan looked at Reid in confusion, before speaking, just as quiet, “he deserved it.”

“Maybe so. But rough enough for it to be reported back to Strauss?” Reid replied.

He narrowed his eyes, “yes it was. That scum bag deserves everything that comes to him.”

“Morgan, that isn’t our place to decide,” Reid said with a stern voice.

“What, so any other man can just come and take you away?” Morgan hissed in a whisper.

Reid stared at the man in shock, suddenly realising that Morgan wasn’t only talking about Alex. “This is about Hotch, isn’t it?” Reid could feel his head spin and his heart race violently in his chest, fear erupted through him as he awaited the darker man’s reply.

Morgan looked to Hotch, as he stared at them, before looking back at Reid. Morgan’s eyes saddened, “are you going to say yes?” His voice was hurt, broken. Morgan looked and felt heart broken, and everyone could see it, especially Reid.

Reid’s breath caught in his throat, “Morgan, you can’t ask me that,” he shook his head and his eyes also saddened. Reid felt terrible for what he was doing, he could see how hurt Morgan was yet he knew that whatever he said, it wouldn’t help either of their situations.

“Then answer me this,” Morgan began, tensing his jaw, “will the answer hurt me?”

He thought for a moment before turning around and going back to the coffee machine, and pouring the coffee in the mug. “No,” he whispered, barely audible. He could feel the guilt punching him in the gut, but he was too exhausted. Everything that happened in the last month was finally beginning to take its toll.

Morgan nodded, with his heart banging wildly against his chest, before walking back to his desk, leaving Reid alone. Reid put his hands onto of the counter and pushed his weight down onto his hands, as he looked down and sighed. Soon enough, the stares burning into the back of his skull became too much, he stood up straight and picked up his mug of coffee before walking away to his desk – as all of his friends turned away and looked at something else as he turned. He sat back down at his desk and took a big gulp of coffee before continuing his report, and so did the rest of the team; Hotch and Rossi also returned to their own offices.  

 

Reid had finished first, unsurprisingly, and his mind was set on talking to Hotch. He threw his stuff into his bag before standing up, pushing his chair under his desk and headed quickly towards Hotch’s office. He gathered his courage, swallowed his pride, and knocked softly on the door.

“Come in,” Hotch said from behind the closed door. Reid opened the door, and saw Hotch sitting behind his desk, Hotch immediately sat up in his seat and dropped his pen once his eyes landed on Reid. “Reid, come in, please.”

He nodded and walked into the room, sitting down on the chair in front of Hotch’s desk, “are you finished?” Reid asked, nodding towards the report.

“Just about. What’s wrong?” He asked with a knowing look, and a nervous voice.

“We need to talk about what happened on the flight,” Reid replied, fiddling with his hands in his lap, as his eyes skimmed over the man’s desk and then back up to Hotch.

Hotch sighed, and sat back in his chair, “I should never have asked you that. I’m sorry. It was out of line, and it’s too soon. I took advantage of our vulnerability, I’m so sorry, Reid.”

Reid stared at the man with small, worried eyes. “I love you, Hotch, but I’m not ready for _marriage_. I’m still dealing with all that has happened this past month, but I can’t make that big of a jump when I’m still so unaware of who I am. But, if you truly feel as if you are ready for that jump, then I don’t think we should carry on with what we’re doing. I don’t want to hurt you; you mean too much to me. I love you, so much, but I can’t be with you if I know I’m going to hurt you.”

Hotch’s eyes widened, and his mouth fell ajar. He tried to speak but the words were stuck in his throat, he felt bile rise and his stomach churned. He shook his head quickly, but Reid sighed and stood up, before walking to the door of the office and walking out. Tears were forming in both of the men’s eyes, and once Hotch saw Reid walk down to bullpen, Hotch jumped out of his seat and ran out of his office. Luckily for them, no one other than their team was in the whole room, “Spencer! I don’t want to marry you!” He shouted, as he gripped tightly onto the metal frame.

Reid was at his desk, and froze as he heard Hotch. He slowly turned back around and stared at the man, as he then heard the squeaks of the chairs around him turning to face the noises, and Rossi coming out of his office. “Then why did you ask?” Reid asked loudly, throwing his bag down onto his chair.

“Because I love you, because I don’t want to lose you,” Hotch shouted down to the man.

Reid viciously rubbed his face before sighing angrily, “Aaron, you can’t just ask me to marry you because you don’t want to lose me! Have you seen the jobs we have, there are constant risks!”

“Wouldn’t that make someone want to get married? Or do you not want to get married to me because of your feelings for someone else?” Hotch exclaimed, anger rising in his blood.

Reid sighed loudly and angrily once more, running his hand through his hair, his voice was quieter this time, “I can’t do this. I’m sick of this argument with you, Aaron.”

“Then tell me the truth,” Hotch groaned loudly, his hands gripping tighter around the frame.

Realisation of where they were then hit Reid. He looked away from an angry Hotch to see Rossi standing outside of his office with scared eyes, he then turned and saw Emily, JJ, Morgan and Garcia all staring at the 2 men with fearful and worried glares. Reid then turned slowly back to face Hotch, “Aaron, look where we are. Tell me this is the place you want to have this conversation?”

Hotch’s eyes never left Reid, and he shook his head, “I don’t care, Spencer. I don’t care if Strauss is listening, or even the Director. I only care about you. So, _you_ tell me if this conversation is worth having at all, or have you given up on that too?”

“I haven’t given up on you, Aaron,” Reid sighed, “I want to be with you, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Hurting each other is inevitable. But, there is no way in _hell_ I’m giving up on you, ever. I love you, and I have loved you for a long time – and if you want to be with someone else, and this is your way of trying to leave me, then say it. Tell me if you have feelings for him, Spencer, because I don’t want you to be unhappy with me, when you can be happier with him.” Hotch’s voice was uneven with pain and sorrow.

Reid stared at the man, but he couldn’t focus. The ticking of his watch and the clock in the room became louder, the news on the TV filled his eardrums, the loud breathing of his friends filled his head, and the coldness of the room tingled his skin, and caused the hair on his arms and neck to stand up. Everything was too loud, and it filled his senses. Reid couldn’t focus on anything but the loud noise and coldness. And then all of a sudden, his phone rang. His mind suddenly refocused and he stared up at Hotch, before sighing and reaching down to his bag to retrieve his phone. He quickly answered the call, “Reid.”

“Hello, is this Doctor Spencer Reid?” The voice asked.

“Yes. May I ask who’s speaking?” Reid asked, as he looked down to his desk.

The woman spoke nervously, “I’m Kate Baker, and I was in charge of keeping Jack Lester attained.”

Reid’s heart paced at the name, and he gulped loudly. Fear was sent through Reid’s body as he heard the name, but then his attention was brought to another word, a word that caused so much fear, “what do you mean as in _was_?”

Baker was evidently new at her job, and she felt a tinge of responsibility for breaking the news to Reid, as she believed what she was about to tell him, was her fault. Her voice was quiet, scared, and even sorry. “He broke out and left a message that he was coming to find you.”

Reid froze on the spot, before he looked up to Hotch. The rain thumping on the windows quickened, and the anger in Hotch’s eyes were replaced with confusion and worry, and he shook his head at Reid, asking what was wrong. “He’s out?” Reid asked.

“I’m so sorry. I asked if I could break the news to the BAU, and to you myself, Doctor Reid. I am terribly sorry, and we are trying our hardest to find him,” Baker gulped.

He closed his eyes, before muttering quietly into the phone, “thank you for letting us know. I will tell my team as soon as I can get a hold of them.” And with that, he ended the call.

“Reid?” Rossi asked, walking up to the metal frame on the balcony.

Reid opened his eyes and stared at his desk. But before he could reply, Garcia’s phone rang. She quickly answered it, but she didn’t have time to ask who it was, as Baker quickly spilled the news to Garcia. “Oh my, God.” Garcia breathed out loudly, before she looked around at her team, who were all (excluding Reid) staring at her. The call was soon ended, and Garcia looked at Reid with tears in her eyes. “Reid, are you okay?” She cried quietly.

Reid still didn’t reply, and his eyes were glued onto his desk, and his mouth was pursed shut. “Garcia, what is going on?” Rossi asked sternly.

Garcia gulped loudly, staring at Rossi, “Jack Lester broke out of his cell...”

Strauss then came storming into the room, with her phone tightly in her hand. “Doctor Reid,” she spoke sternly. Reid blinked repeatedly, before he silently turned to face the angry woman. “Can you please tell me why a friend of yours is ringing me, instead of you?” She asked, shoving the phone towards the man.

Silently, Reid shakily raised his hand and took the phone, pressing it lightly to his ear. “Hello?” He croaked.

“Why did you get me arrested, Spencer?” The voice asked.

The voice sent shivers down Reid’s spine, and his legs lost balance. He stumbled back and his desk caught his fall, and he leant his whole body on the desk. The team, though Strauss was confused and blatantly unaware, knew what was going on and quickly ran to Reid, Garcia ran to her room to track the call. “What is going on?” Strauss asked loudly.

“Jack Lester escaped,” Rossi replied quietly to the woman.

“Is that him?” Strauss asked fearfully.

Reid looked up to the woman with scared eyes, and nodded. “You broke the law, Jack. You had to be arrested.” He replied to the man on the other line, before putting the call on loudspeaker, allowing the team to also hear the call.

“If you truly loved me, you would have been on my side. Not theirs,” Jack replied darkly.

“I know. But what you did was wrong. You understand that, don’t you, Jack?” Reid asked with a thumping heart and a shaky voice.

“I want you back, Spencer,” Jack hissed.

Reid whimpered silently, and JJ put her hand on Reid’s forearm, telling him he was going to be okay. He shook his head at JJ, telling _her_ that he couldn’t do it for much longer. “You’re going to have to turn yourself in for that to happen.”

Jack laughed loudly into the phone, “come find me, Spencer. I know how much you love the games, how much you loved the biting.”

Morgan walked away from the rest of the team and kicked the floor angrily and bit his tongue, stopping himself from screaming and shouting at the man. Hotch was tensing his jaw and standing closely next to Reid, not only for Reid but also for himself. Reid shuddered at the word _biting_ , and closed his eyes as he forced the memories out of mind. “You find me first, Jack.”

“Oh, you’re finally willing to participate? You’re not going to cry out for your boss to help you this time, are you? You’re not going to beg for Agent Hotchner to save you, to help you, to kill you?” His voice rung over the groups head, emitting thoughts and worry from them all.

Hotch and Reid caught eyes once Jack finished what he had saying. Reid shook his head apologetically, and Hotch’s eyes saddened. “Turn yourself in, Jack, please.”

“I will,” Jack breathed, “but first I need to see you.”

“Where?” Reid asked quickly.

“In my room,” Jack replied before abruptly ending the call.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd add two chapters in one night. I'm sorry for taking so long each time I need to update...But, I've nearly finished! Only a couple of more chapters to go and it'll be done. 
> 
> Also, considering I have an exam tomorrow morning, I've not had time to proof read (again).

 “Doctor Reid, I am not allowing you to meet this man,” Strauss muttered sternly. They were standing in the round table room; Reid was ordered to sit in a chair as the rest all looked down to him.

“It is the only way he will turn himself in,” Reid replied, shaking his head.

Hotch had a straight, tight lipped frown. “Reid, it’s too dangerous.”

“You will all be there to make sure nothing happens. I trust you, and I need you to trust me, too,” Reid replied, but his eyes then fell to the floor, as he realised his team was staring at him, telling him to tell them the truth. “I need this. I need to know why he did what he did.”

“Reid, you’re a profiler, you know why he did it,” Morgan shook his head defensively.

“Please, Hotch? You know more than anyone how badly this man affected me. I need to see him,” Reid pleaded with his eyes.

Hotch thought for a moment, before he turned to look at Strauss. “We will have the house surrounded, we will keep him safe.”

Strauss shook her head slowly as she thought, before she sighed in defeat and looked at Reid, “I want to see you back here safe and well, Doctor Reid. I do not want to hear of your fourth hospital visit.”

“Of course,” Reid nodded quickly, “thank you.”

The woman sighed once more before walking out of the room, and back to her own office. Eyes were all then piercingly placed back onto Reid, the team all stared with concern. “Are you sure you’re up for his?” Hotch asked quietly.

“I am,” he nodded strongly.

 “Then let’s get you ready,” Rossi nodded. Morgan sighed angrily at what he said, and ran his hand over his head. He didn’t want Reid to go, or to go to see Jack, and neither did JJ. They were in the same mind set, and their blood was boiling with anger and worry.

Emily was extremely worried, but she remained professional and kept her eye on the job – she would have done the same. Hotch’s heart was banging violently against his chest, and his veins felt like sandpaper. His head was spinning with worry, and his heart was thumping with guilt.

Rossi was trying his hardest to conceal his fear, as his eyes remained steadily on Reid. Reid was staring back at him; he wasn’t concealing his worry or fear as much as Rossi. He then nodded in response to the man, and stood up.

 

Once they stepped off the jet in Georgia, they all headed to the 2 SUVs assigned them. Hotch, Reid and JJ all shared one SUV whilst the other 3 shared the other. As soon as they set off for where they needed to go, which was the police station they worked at for the original case – they agreed to help the BAU, considering how much they helped them, the team were all in a conference call, including Garcia, as they all went over the plan. “Are you sure you’re ready for this, Reid?” Garcia asked, silencing and creating tension for the rest of the group.

Reid looked to the phone quickly, and felt the eyes of JJ and Hotch on him. “Yes, Garcia.”

“Are you sure because we can change the plan?” Hotch asked, looking back to Reid and then back to the road ahead of him.

“I’ll be fine,” Reid nodded and looked out of his window. He was sitting in the back seat and was trying his hardest to avoid the gaze of his two friends. Because, truthfully, he wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to see him; his heart was beating violently in his chest as he thought about what Jack did to him – about what Jack _will_ do to him.  Reid heard Hotch sigh before resting back in his seat and his concentration was then brought back to the call. “Is everyone clear on what we need to do?”

Everyone muttered an agreement, and the call was then cut. Each driver of the SUVs pushed down on the accelerator, quickening their pace as they drove to the station. No one liked the idea of what Reid was going to do, they all knew it wasn’t fair. How many people had to see their attackers outside of jail to simply send them back? And then go through the court case, seeing him again, watching as his evil eyes followed them with every movement they made.

Christopher Poole was leaning against the wall, next to the steps leading up to the station, with his left leg crossed over his right. His hair was shining brightly in the sun, and his sunglasses fit firmly on his face, as it diverted the bright sun away from her eyes. Poole was wearing a grey three-piece suit, and his lips were pursed. His phone was being tossed around in each hand as he waited for the 2 black SUVs. And soon enough, they pulled up in front of where he stood. The agents looked out of the window to him, and they all then noticed how Poole’s hair was naturally blond, but not _that_ blond – he dyed it. Poole stared into each of the windows of the cars, and a welcoming smile played upon his lips. The agents all got out of the SUVs and walked towards him, and Poole pushed himself off the wall as they did so. “Agents,” he greeted happily, his British accent spilling through, as he removed his sun glasses.

“Nice to see you again,” JJ smiled, shaking the man’s hand.

“It’s a shame it’s under these circumstances,” Hotch frowned, as he then shook Poole’s hand.

Poole agreed and smiled, as he shook the rest of the agent’s hands, but stopped in his tracks once Reid came into view. “Doctor Reid,” he smiled. Reid gave an awkward and shy wave, with a small smile. He certainly wasn’t in the mood for small talk, and Poole could see that. “Right, shall we get started?” Poole asked, looking back to the rest of the agents.

“Yes, unfortunately we don’t have a lot of time,” Rossi frowned.

Poole nodded, and then turned and stalked up the stairs and towards the building, as the rest of the agents followed. Poole led them all into the station and the agents all received a few knowing, and greeting nods from the rest of the officers – which they returned; they were all led into the same conference room they were in before. “My men are all ready for you, just give us word and we’ll set off. We’ll do anything to ensure this piece of scum gets locked away, and stays locked away.”

“Thank you, so much,” Hotch said with an appreciative nod.

But then before Poole could reply, there was a ringing noise coming from Reid. Everyone’s eyes turned to face him, and Reid gulped at the unwanted attention. “Excuse me,” he said with a quiet voice, before reaching into his bag and pulling out his phone. Eyes were all still on him, as he answered the call. “Doctor Reid,” he answered.

“Spencer,” the voice grumbled.

Reid’s eyebrows pinched up and his eyes widened, he was scared. Terribly scared. “Hello, Jack.”

His team, and Poole, all gulped and stared protectively at the man, and Reid put the call on loud speaker. “I’m here in Georgia, Jack. I’m ready to come see you.”

“Then I think you should know something,” Jack smiled.

“What?” Reid asked.

“If you pull any tricks, or try to pull anything on me – I’ll kill this little girl,” he growled with a dark voice.

All eyes and faces became alert and worried, there was a hostage. A little girl. “You have a hostage?” Reid blurted out, his fight or flight reaction soon came in to play.

“Yes. And I’ll kill her if you’re not here in half an hour,” Jack lowered his voice, as if he was hiding his statement from something, from someone.

Reid angrily ran a hand through his hair, “okay. I’ll be there in half an hour. Do not hurt that girl, Jack. I’m warning you, if you lay a hand on her, I will never see you again.”

“Tell Aaron I said hello, will you?” Jack asked darkly.

“Keep him out of this,” Reid growled.

“Fine. Then tell _Derek_ I said hello,” he chuckled grimly.

“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Reid grumbled, his blood oozing with anger, as he abruptly ended the call.

Everyone was silent as they watched the anger surge through Reid. “Are you okay, kid?” Rossi asked with concern, taking a step towards the younger agent.

His eyes skimmed over the room thoughtfully, as his breathing was scattered. “We need to change the plan, there’s a hostage involved.”

“Reid’s right. Our priority is getting the hostage out of that house,” Hotch nodded.

“I’ll gather my men, we’re all ears,” Poole spat out, before rushing out of the room.

All eyes were still on Reid, as they watched intently as he tried to even out his breathing. “What?” Reid spat out.

“You’re having another panic attack,” Hotch replied calmly.

“What? No, I’m not!” Reid exclaimed. His breathing quickened than before, and he felt his pulse thumping.

Hotch sighed and rubbed his forehead, trying to calm himself. The rest of the team gulped fearfully and worry erupt through their veins. “Reid, sit down,” Hotch warned loudly.

“I am fine!” Reid growled angrily.

“No, you’re not. Now, sit down and let me help you,” Hotch spoke with a straight face.

Reid lost control of his breathing, and his eyes were locked onto Hotch. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, he was having a panic attack. And now it was getting worse, it was getting a lot worse. But Reid knew he didn’t have time for this, so he closed his eyes and thought of something else. He thought of the man he loved, he thought of Hotch. His eyes then shot open and he stared directly at him, “I love you.”

“Shit,” Hotch hissed quietly, as he bit his lip before lunging forward and pulling Reid into his arms, holding him tightly against himself.  “I love you, too, Spencer. So much.”

 

Reid slowly got out of the car with a shaky breath, as his shaking legs strained to hold his weight. He held the door tightly as he stared ahead at the house. Jack’s house.

“Spencer, are you sure?” Hotch asked with a soft voice, as he stood next to Reid. Hotch’s hand was pressed lightly against Reid’s back, giving him the mental and physical support he needed.

Reid took a deep breath and tore his eyes away from the house to turn his head to look at his boyfriend. “Yes, I’m sure. There’s a little girl in there, I need to get her away from him,” Reid stared at Hotch with determined eyes and a tight-lipped smile.

Hotch watched the younger man speak and he smiled proudly. He was so proud of Reid, he was about to face the man that tore his world apart in just under a day – just to save one little girl. He nodded at Reid, “okay. We’ll be right here waiting for your signal. Get yourself and the girl out as soon as possible. And that is an order.”

The younger agent smiled at Hotch’s stern tone and the fear inside of him decreased the slightest amount. “I love you,” Reid spoke with a soft voice and smile; causing Hotch’s heart rate to increase rapidly.

He smiled back at the man and leant forward pressing a soft, subtle kiss on Reid’s forehead. “I love you, too,” he whispered into Reid’s hair.

As Hotch pulled away, and pulled his hand away from his back, the rest of their team came around to their side to join them. They all stared and smiled sadly at Reid, as no one knew what to say to their damaged, yet brave friend.

“Do you need anything before you go in?” Hotch asked quietly, gaining nods from the rest of the group.

“Uh, yes, I do,” Reid began, and watched as his friends eagerly took a step closer towards Reid, “could you all not look at me as if I’m not going to come back?”

“Of course you’re going to come back. Who would annoy us on the jet if you weren’t around?” Rossi spoke, taking a step forward and putting his hand supportively on Reid’s shoulder.

Reid smiled sadly at the man and nodded, before looking around to his group of friends. “You’ll be right here?”

“We won’t move unless you need us, kid,” Morgan spoke with a sad voice.

The younger agent took another deep breath before thanking Morgan. “Right, let’s get this finished with,” Reid rubbed his hands on his trousers and looked down to his chest and remembered that he wasn’t wearing his bulletproof vest – though, his gun was safely tucked away in his right sock, hidden by his trousers. As he looked back up, he saw JJ’s tearful eyes and Emily’s twitching hands. “I’ll be fine, I’ll get the hostage and come straight back out. I promise,” he said with a smile.

“We love you,” JJ croaked, as she wiped a tear away as it fell down her cheek.

He smiled, “I love you.” As he spoke, his eyes quickly fell away from JJ and onto Morgan for half a second – before he realised and he quickly brought his attention back onto JJ. And luckily, no one noticed, no one but Morgan and Emily. Reid didn’t know why but he felt a sudden urge to hug Morgan, to beg him not to let him go into that house. For the first time in months, he suddenly felt like he needed him all over again.

And then, with a nod, everyone took a step back from Reid, giving him the space he needed to leave. He carefully and bravely took a step forward and away from the SUV, away from his friends. But as he took another step, he was quickly pulled back. He shot around to see Hotch holding his hand with tearful eyes and a fearful look. “Aaron?” Reid asked with a confused tone.

“Please come back to me,” Hotch begged.

He looked at the man with a shocked look, before Hotch watched his lips form a smile. “Of course I will,” Reid spoke softly, lifting Hotch’s hand and pressing a soft kiss onto the back of his hand.

Hotch stared at the man he loved before slowly letting go of his hand and watching him walk away – walk to the man who destroyed him. As he watched him walk away, he felt as if every bone in his body was breaking, he felt as if his heart was tugging towards Reid but his legs wouldn’t follow. His whole body was aching as he watched the man he loved walk towards the house. That wretched house.

 

“Come on, you can do this,” Reid muttered to himself as he walked, “don’t turn around.” Every cell in his body was screaming at him to turn around, to go back to Hotch and just go home. To curl on the couch with a good book and a cup of coffee, with Hotch holding him safely between his legs as his fingers soothingly ran across his collar bone and arms. Reid’s breathing quickened as he neared the house, the memories of that day were quickly re-entering his mind, and he begged for it to stop. He knew that if they didn’t stop, his flight or fight response would kick in – and it wouldn’t be the one he needed, or the girl needed.

 

_“Okay, he’s in,” Rossi said with a steady voice to the group. Rossi was standing by the side of the car, as the rest of the team leant against the SUV facing away from the house. They couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Reid go into the house alone._

Reid slowly pushed the creaking door open and stared wearingly into the house, “Jack?”

“Spencer!” Shouted an excited voice from the lounge. His voice caused Reid’s nerves to erupt inside of him, as his stomach churned and his head thumped.

Reid slowly and steadily walked fully into the house, leaving the door slightly open. His heart was thumping in his chest; he felt as if there were a herd of hares ready to pounce at any minute out of his chest. As Reid slowly walked down the hall, and turned left into the lounge, he saw, sitting by the fireplace on the couch, was Jack. And the girl, around 15, was sitting closely next to him with silent tears streaming down her face. Reid gulped and nodded slowly towards the girl. “I’m here, now let her go.”

Jack stared at Reid with wild eyes, before looking down to the girl and a smile erupted slowly onto his face. The girl stared continuously at Reid as she felt Jack stare at her.

The girl had shoulder length brown hair, and she wore glasses which highly cooperated with her well-done makeup. Reid could tell automatically the girl was different from anyone else at her school, she was an outcast – but people still liked her. She never got involved with the wrong people, she was getting the best grades she could, her friends were the ones she would never forget, her future was bright. She didn’t deserve this, Reid thought. “Jack, let her go. I’m here now,” he took a step closer into the room with his hands upright in front of him.

Jack snapped up to look at Reid, and his eyes sparkled. His smile grew and his nose crinkled, “let’s play a game.”

“Okay, what game?” Reid asked calmly, he wanted nothing more than to get himself and the girl out of there.

“Never have I ever,” Jack grinned.

“Okay, up to 5,” Reid breathed, as his mind raced to recall the rules of the game. Reid could feel bile rise in his throat as he looked at the revolting man, the man who destroyed his soul, the man who was looming over a 15 year old girl.

“The last one out has to stay with me,” Jack purred, as he brushed the girl’s hair off her shoulder. “Lexie, this is Spencer.”

Reid looked back down to the shaking girl, “hi, Lexie. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she spoke quietly with a shaky voice. Reid smiled at Lexie sympathetically and nodded at the girl.

“Right,” Jack began, “Spencer, take Lexie and sit on the other side of the room.”

He nodded, and slowly walked to where Lexie and Jack sat, before carefully reaching out his hand for Lexie to take. With a shaking hand, Lexie quickly grabbed hold on to Reid and got up, away from the reptile named Jack. Reid held tightly onto the girl and they both sat down on the couch opposite Jack. As Reid looked back to Jack, he saw there was a gun in his hand – and he realised he must have been pointing it right into Lexie’s back.

“5 fingers up,” Jack instructed with wide, excited eyes.

The pair both raised a hand and kept their eyes locked on Jack, awaiting their next instruction. “Never have I ever,” Jack began with a thoughtful look splattered across his face, “had sex with a man.”

Reid glared at the man and his stomach flipped, as he put a finger down. And so did Lexie. Reid took a double glance at Lexie, completely shocked by the revelation.

“Lexie, you better not be lying to me,” Jack warned, as he pointed the gun at the young girl.

“My uncle when I was 12,” she mumbled quietly, looking down to the floor.

Reid’s heart shattered in his chest, and he reached for the girl’s free hand, and held it tightly once more – telling her she was going to be okay. She looked up to Reid with tearful eyes and smiled thankfully, as she held onto his hand just as tight.

“Right. Well, never have I ever held someone as they took their last breath?” Jack asked, leaning forward in his seat.

Reid put his second finger down as he challengingly glared at Jack. But, in the corner of his eye he noticed Lexie still had 4 fingers up. If he was to lose first, she would have to stay with him – and by the way Lexie was gripping onto his hand, she knew it too.

“Never have I ever perfected winged eyeliner?” Jack asked, with a wink towards Lexie.

Lexie gulped as she put down her second finger; they both remained with 3 fingers.

 

_“What is he doing?” JJ muttered to herself. They all listened intently to their ear pieces as they awaited Reid’s signal, “why is he playing a game with them?”_

_“It’s his way of putting fear into Lexie and Reid,” Rossi replied._

_They were anxiously waiting, as they leant on the bonnet of the SUV, all staring towards the house. More police cars were silently starting to arrive, though they hid themselves amongst the trees._

_“How much longer do you think they’re going to take?” Emily asked, as she nervously picked and bit her nails._

_“I’m not sure,” Rossi replied quietly._

Reid looked to Lexie and saw they both only had one finger left. It all depended on this – but, Reid would rather die than leave Lexie alone with him. Jack was staring at the ceiling, thinking of his last question. “You’re going to be okay,” Reid whispered, barely audible that Lexie wouldn’t have heard it if she wasn’t looking at him.

“I’ve got it,” Jack yelped excitedly, he stood up and pointed his gun at Reid and Lexie, “never have I ever fallen in love with my best friend.”

Reid’s heart fell into his stomach. He didn’t know what to do. He knew his team could hear what was going on – Hotch could hear, but he also knew Jack could tell when Reid was lying. But, then he didn’t want to leave Lexie. Reid thought for a moment before subtly squeezing Lexie’s hand, and as he released, she put her last finger down.

“Well, well, well. Here I was thinking Doctor Reid was in love,” Jack sat down in his chair with a thoughtful and menacing glare.

“I’m not in love with my _best friend_ ,” Reid spoke. He felt his insides swell and thump rapidly against his whole body.

Jack stared at Reid and his glare turned cold. “It looks like we have to let Lexie go,” he growled.

Reid nodded, and Lexie quietly let out a deep breath as she whimpered. Reid knew what he did was the right thing, it was either Lexie or no one at all. He would not have left that girl there by herself, with that vile creature. But, something was bugging him – Reid couldn’t figure out if he was lying or telling the truth when Jack asked the last question. Was he in love with his best friend? Had he been in love with him the whole time? But, if it was true, then what did he feel with Hotch? Because Reid knew he felt something for Hotch, of course he did! But what extent was it compared to Morgan?

“Spencer?” Lexie whispered, dragging Reid out of his thoughts. Reid snapped into motion and saw Lexie staring at him with wide, worried eyes as Jack stared at him with a smile that erupted fear out of Reid.

“Sorry, yes. Let’s get you out of here,” Reid smiled down towards Lexie.

Lexie smiled up at Reid, and she looked expectantly towards Jack, as she pleaded with her eyes for him to let her go, “please let me go?” She gulped.

Jack stared at the girl and squinted his eyes at her, “on one condition.” Lexie and Reid felt their hearts thump loudly in their chests as they waited for his _condition_ , “I want Spencer to tell me who he’s in love with.”

 

_“Well, that should be easy – right?” JJ asked, as she looked around her friends. Though, she didn’t get the answers she was expecting – everyone lowered their heads as they looked down to the ground or at their hands. “Guys?” She asked._

_“Reid doesn’t lie when someone’s life depends on it,” Hotch answered, looking straight up and at JJ._

_“What do you mean?” JJ asked, “what have I missed?”_

_Everyone else then looked up to JJ, as they realised she had clearly been left out of the loop. Emily tilted her head at the blonde woman, “where have you been? I thought you were Reid’s best friend.” They all realised that Morgan and Hotch obviously knew the full story, but Emily and Rossi also knew the full story due to how close they were with the other men. JJ knew a small fraction of the story since the day in the parking lot, the day they met Jack, but nothing else had been revealed to the poor woman._

_“I am? And that’s why he said he wasn’t in love with me,” JJ replied with a nod._

_Hotch sighed and once again looked down to the floor, “Reid has two best friends.”_

_“Who?” JJ asked with furrowed eyebrows, as she looked around her friends. But, she once again didn’t get a reply. And that was when it dawned on her, all of the arguments Reid and Hotch were having, the note from Jack to do with Hotch and Morgan as they protected Reid in hospital. Everything up to that moment finally made sense. “Oh, God,” she muttered to herself as he looked at Morgan and then back to the house._

_“And there it is,” Rossi replied quietly._

_But before anyone else could speak, they heard Reid’s voice in their earpieces._

“Aaron Hotchner,” Reid replied with a straight face, his heart was beating so loud he was sure Jack could hear it.

“Aaron Hotchner, are you sure?” Jack asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Reid thought for a moment as he looked down to the floor, “I’m sure.”

“And what happened to Derek Morgan?” Jack asked, knowing fully well what he was doing to the man.

Reid gulped and calmed his mind, “yes, I was in love with him. I was in love with him for a very long time, for as long as I can remember. And sometimes I even think I still do, and sometimes I persuade the people around me I do – but he broke my heart. I know he didn’t mean to, he would never do that intentionally to anyone. But he did, he broke my heart constantly. Every time I smelt a new perfume on his body, or every time I saw him flirt with someone at the BAU, every time he spoke to me about his most current sexual partner, every time he ignored me; he broke my heart over and over again. And then Hotch came, he helped me. He made me feel wanted, special. I was no longer thinking of Morgan every minute of the day. Yes, it took me a long time to get over Morgan but I am, I am in love with Aaron Hotchner.”

“God,” Jack breathed, as his mouth gaped open and closed, he didn’t know what to say or what to do. He somewhat felt bad for the man, “Spencer, I feel sorry for you.”

“I’m not going to talk anymore until Lexie is let go,” Reid spoke proudly, stretching his back, as he sat up straight.

Jack stared at the man for a moment, before sighing. “Fine, come on Lexie.” He stood up, waving the gun at the girl.

Lexie, with shaking legs, stood up and slowly let go of Reid’s hand. Reid kept his eyes glued onto the girl as she stood and started to walk towards Jack. Before she quickly turned back around and walked back towards Reid, as she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. The agent was surprised at the action, but quickly hugged her back, just as tight. “Go towards the trees, my friends will help you,” he whispered quietly into her ear.

As she removed her arms from around the man, she nodded at him and then turned back around to Jack, as he walked her out of the house. Reid closed his eyes and sighed sadly as he realised he was all alone – alone with the man who killed his spirit, who tortured him, who raped him.

As soon as he heard the door close, the slow and deafening footsteps soon followed. _“Reid, get out of there! We have Lexie.”_ He heard Morgan’s voice in his ear.

“Come on, Spencer. Now that Lexie is gone, we can talk as grownups,” Jack smiled and spoke slowly, as he came around the corner into the lounge.

“Why do you feel sorry for me?” Reid asked, leaning forward in his seat, as he leant his elbows on his knees.

“Because you truly are a confused man,” he laughed, sitting back down where he originally sat.

Reid felt his heart rate increase, he knew it was about what he said about Hotch and Morgan. What did he think? What did he know? “Why?” He asked, as sweat started to form on his brow line.

Nerves were erupting throughout him as he waited for Jack to reply, he wanted – no, needed, to know what he was referring to. But then, as he waited, Jack laughed. His laughter echoed throughout the whole house. “You’re not in love with him!” He howled.

“In love with who?” Reid asked, frowning as his voice trembled.

Jack shook his head, as he stood up, tutting as he did so, “Spencer Reid, you are the smartest person I know, but you can be so stupid.” He slowly walked over to where Reid sat, and sat closely down next to him.

Reid gulped loudly and his breathing quickened, “I don’t know what you mean,” his voice trembled in his throat and his mind became foggy. Reid could feel his pulse erratically thumping against every cell in his body, and his heart was smashing against his ribcage. He could feel Jack’s knee as it sat softly next to his, as he also felt Jack’s hot breath against his arms as Reid continued to sit as he had done since he re-entered the room.

“Spencer, say it,” Jack breathed quietly.

“Say what?” Reid asked fearfully.

“Say you don’t love him,” Jack whispered, as he slowly leant towards Reid.

Reid slowly backed away and his back hit the back of the couch, as he stared at Jack. “Who? Who don’t I love?”

“Kiss me, and I’ll tell you,” Jack muttered, pushing his own hair back.

“Jack, I – I want to go home,” Reid whispered quietly.

Jack sat back and away from Reid, “Spencer, you can go home whenever you want to.”

Reid stared at the man and pondered for a moment, before gulping loudly. “You’re lying,” Reid’s voice cracked.

“Of course I’m lying!” Jack laughed loudly, before throwing himself towards Reid, locking him in his place, as he forced his tongue into the man’s mouth.

Reid jumped in his seat and forcefully threw his fists against the man’s chest, “Hotch!” The boy screamed for him repeatedly, as he pushed and groaned at Jack. But Jack was stronger, he held onto the squirming boy under his grip and his spare hand found its way up to Reid’s neck.

Jack leant back, still holding Reid’s throat, “choose, Spencer.”

He stared at Jack with confused, worried eyes. Fear was trembling and oozing out of him. “Choose?” Reid questioned, his voice breaking.

“Aaron Hotchner or Derek Morgan?” Jack asked with a cackle, staring down the boy under him. But before the boy could reply or interject, Jack held his throat tighter and dug his knee deeply into his pelvis. “But, I don’t want your precious boyfriends to know who you’ve chosen just yet. So, if you blink once, it’s Aaron. Twice, it’s Derek. It’s time to finally choose, Spencer, don’t waste it.”

 

“We’ve got to get him out of there!” Hotch shouted, as himself and his friends heard the commotion through their ear pieces. He quickly jumped from his place before arming his gun and stared at his friends who stared back at him with worried glares, “he needs us,” Hotch spat out with tearful eyes.

They all nodded quickly, as JJ offered to stay with Lexie, before the rest of their team sprinted towards the house. Their feet slammed onto the ground as they powered themselves to the house, their ears were filled with Reid begging for Hotch to help. The team quickly reached the house, and banged on the door repeatedly. But it wouldn’t open. Morgan kicked, and kicked but it wouldn’t open. Emily shouted at him to stand back and repeatedly shot at the handle, but it still didn’t open. Hotch ran around to the windows and shot at them, but the _damn bulletproof windows_ stopped the bullets from smashing the windows.

“Reid!” Hotch shouted as he kicked the front door again.

Morgan and Rossi ran around the back and tried their hardest to get in that way – but they were completely locked out. That was until Morgan dislocated his shoulder, as he barged his way into the house through the back door. Himself and Rossi ran into the house, and their hearts broke as they saw Reid on the couch. Jack was getting himself up off the couch, and wiping blood away from his mouth, Reid’s blood. Reid was sitting with his shirt half-open, and his trousers were evidently just put back on in a rush. There was blood dripping down from his mouth, and from the re-opened scars on his chest.

Morgan ran up to Jack, slamming him hard into the wall. “What did you do?” He screamed. But instead of replying, Jack simply laughed in his face, showing his perfect set of teeth. Anger seethed through Morgan, and he quickly threw his first against his cheek, and kneed him in the groin, before then throwing him once again back against the wall. “What the fuck did you do to him?” He screamed again, holding his jaw tightly.

“JJ, we need an ambulance in here right away,” Morgan heard Rossi say. Morgan quickly turned around and saw Rossi holding Reid’s stomach furiously with his hands – blood covered hands.

“Rossi?” Morgan asked with a gasp. Rossi looked up to Morgan with worried eyes but his attention was quickly brought back to Reid as he coughed and spluttered violently.

“Breathe, Reid. You’re going to be fine, you’re fine,” Rossi repeated.

Morgan turned back to face Jack, and watched as he slowly raised his right arm with a smile, revealing a blood covered steak knife. “If I can’t have him, no one can.”

“Morgan, get him out of here,” Rossi exclaimed, as he shot around to look at Morgan. “Now!”

Morgan nodded quickly before throwing the knife out of Jack’s hands, and quickly marching him out of the room and out of the house, through the back door. But as he reached the door, 6 FBI agents, and Poole reached them and offered to take Jack. Morgan hesitated, before nodding, trusting the 7 men. As they took Jack away, several paramedics ran past the man – and that’s when everything hit Morgan. His legs stumbled quickly, and he fell to the floor on his knees. His breath was caught in his throat, and his vision became foggy and blurry. Bile rose in his stomach, and he then heard someone call his name. Hotch.

“Morgan?” Hotch shouted, as he came running towards the man, “Morgan, what’s going on?”

Morgan looked up to the man with teary eyes and a broken look slapped across his face, “Hotch, I’m sorry.”

Hotch stared at the man and shook his head, “no.” He shook his head more violently in disbelief, “no! Spencer!” He ran towards the door, before he was stopped by a paramedic, “let me in, I’m an FBI agent!”

“Aaron, stay out there!” Rossi shouted from inside the house.

“Dave, no! Please! Let me see him,” he begged as tears fell down cheeks.

“Aaron, let the paramedics do their job! Stay out there with Morgan, make sure Jack is secure,” Rossi shouted loudly, as the stress got the better of him.

Hotch stared at the paramedic who blocked him from going inside the house and watched as his sad eyes stared right back at him. Hotch could automatically tell the man felt sorry for him, and wanted nothing more than to let him in – but he had to follow the instructed rules. Hotch nodded at the man and took a deep breath before taking a step back, and walking over to where Morgan was still sitting. As he stared at the grass beneath his feet, he slowly crouched down to the ground next to Morgan. 

Both men sat in silence, staring at the grass ahead of them as paramedics ran in and out of the house, as well as all the lights from the cars that flashed around them. But nothing tore the men away from staring at the dry, green patch of grass. That was until they noticed 2 women walking up to them – Emily and JJ. They looked at the men, before then slowly taking a seat on the ground next to them. Emily sat next to Morgan, as JJ sat next to Hotch. And there they sat, all waiting for the news that Reid was going to be okay, he had to be okay.

 

Soon enough, several men ran out of the house, pushing the stretcher that carried Reid. The team jumped up from the ground and quickly caught up with the stretcher. As soon as they saw him, they heard Reid violently cough and groan. “Is he okay?” Hotch asked.

“We’ll do everything we can to make sure he will be – but you’re trying your hardest to be okay, aren’t you, Doctor Reid?” A tall man asked, as he pushed the stretcher from Reid’s head side.

Reid groaned in pain, but he opened his eyes and stared at the paramedic, “I don’t understand why everyone is asking me to be okay. There isn’t particularly a big deal surrounding my wound, I could give you the statistics on me living or dying if you’d like?”

Reid’s team smiled through teary eyes as he spoke, he was fine, he was going to be fine.

“How about we call a bet?” The man asked, as he smiled, “if you live with no complications, I’ll give you $50. But if everything is not okay, I’ll let your friends know when I’m on call, and may or may not take the longest route possible if your friends need me to _help_ the person who did this to you?”

The youngest agent laughed weakly, as he closed his eyes once more, his head falling to his left side, facing his friends. “Deal,” Reid replied barely audible.

“Spencer?” Hotch asked.

Reid didn’t reply, nor respond in any type of way. “Hurry, he’s lost a lot of blood!” The paramedic shouted, as they reached the ambulance, and they quickly safely transferred Reid to the safety of the ambulance.

“What’s going on?” Morgan asked loudly to the paramedic, as his friends quickly stood behind him – as they stood outside of the ambulance, watching with horror and fear struck across their faces.

“Uh,” the paramedic muttered impatiently, “he’s suffered from 2 stab wounds, 1 to the spleen and the other to the liver. There are clear signs of sexual assault, fractured ribs and the possibility of a fractured pelvis.”

The team stared in horror, “oh, God,” Emily muttered.

“Can we come with him?” JJ’s voiced cracked.

The paramedic looked at his friends before sighing, “I’m sorry, we have to go. You can meet him at the hospital,” he quickly jumped into the ambulance with Reid and looked at the remaining team as the doors were closed on them – and then they were quickly sped away; leaving the team alone.

 

The rain on the hospital roof and windows were deafening. The rain was pounding, and the wind was howling as it crawled in through the windows and doors, covering everything in its path. The hospital was quiet, lonely.

Every so often, Hotch and his team would see a visitor or doctor walk past they empty waiting room. But they were alone, they were truly alone. Every footstep they heard, sounded like Reid’s or his doctor’s.

The team were sitting silently waiting for news, they sat in the same seats as last time, they sat in the same positions as last time, they sat there waiting for Reid after his encounter with Jack like last time. Hotch was feeling every emotion he never wished to feel. Everything inside of him was aching, every bone felt brittle, every cell felt explosive, every heartbeat felt like it was the last. He sat silently in his chair, but everything inside of him definitely wasn’t silent. His brain was screaming at him, telling him all of this happened in 5 minutes. It took Jack 5 minutes to do this to them. “5 minutes,” he muttered, attracting his friends’ attention.

“What?” Rossi asked.

Hotch looked up to Rossi and saw all his friends staring at him, “It took Jack 5 minutes to do this to us,” he sighed, “look at us. We help catch criminals for a living, we save lives – and here we are, destroyed after what one man did to us in 5 minutes.”

“5 minutes is either a very short amount of time, or a very long amount of time,” Rossi said thoughtfully.

As everyone ingested what the two men had said, Reid’s doctor came strolling through with a solemn look on his face. As the agents saw the man, they all jumped up and immediate panic ruptured their bodies. “What’s happened?” Emily spat out.

“Is he okay?” Morgan asked.

And soon enough, they were all asking questions – all at the same time. The doctor was trying his hardest to look and address each agent, but he got nowhere. “Doctor Reid is fine!” He exclaimed loudly.

“He is?” JJ replied with a relieved sigh, along with everyone else as they fell silent.

The doctor smiled at the newly found silence, and nodded, “yes, he is fine.”

“What happened to him?” Hotch asked.

The doctor’s smile fell from his lips, as he gulped, “when I say he’s fine, I mean he is no longer in critical condition.”

“What do you mean?” Morgan asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Doctor Reid was very, badly injured. He has 2 fractured ribs, a fractured pelvis, a concussion, and mild internal injuries; which we will need to observe overnight,” Doctor Gregson replied, pushing his glasses back into his hair.

“I thought you said he was fine?” JJ asked with teary eyes, sitting back in her seat, as everyone’s eyes followed.

The doctor sighed sadly, “he will be.”

“How is his mental state?” Rossi asked, reminding everyone that it was Reid’s mental well-being that mattered most to him.

“He’s responsive, which is a good sign. He’s tired right now, but he was smiling at one of our nurses before I left,” Gregson smiled.

“Can we see him?” Emily asked.

He looked down to his watch that sat securely on his wrist before puckering his lips, “I don’t see why not.”

The team smiled at the man, before allowing him to lead to them to Reid’s room – the same room he was in before. As they walked through the hospital, they noticed it seemed to get quieter and lonelier, it was only 7 pm. Where was everyone?

Doctor Gregson shown the team the door, before himself and the team walked in. Reid was laying in his bed, as he stared at the ceiling as the nurse checked his IV and monitors. When the younger agent noticed the sudden change in amount of people in the room, his eyes fell to the door and he saw his team, his friends.

_“Hi,” he croaked._

The team stared at him with wide, fearful eyes. “Spence,” JJ cried quietly, as she ran up to the man and carefully but quickly hugged him.

Reid ignored the pain surging through his body as he hugged the petite woman back, closing his eyes as he did so. He could feel the tears burning against his eyelids, but he refused to let them fall, and so he squeezed his eyes shut tighter. “Spence, I’m so sorry,” JJ whispered tearfully in his ear as she hugged the pained man.

_“It’s okay, JJ,” he replied._

JJ pulled away from the man, and they both looked at each other, happy to see each other safe once again. Reid then looked back to the door and saw no one else had moved, they all stood staring at him with worried eyes. And they were right to be worried.

“Spencer?” Doctor Gregson spoke, walking towards Reid.

_“Yes?” Reid asked, frowning._

“Can you hear me?” He asked.

_“Of course I can hear you?” Reid scoffed._

Gregson moved closer to Reid, replacing JJ’s place. “Spencer, are you aware you aren’t responding verbally?”

_“Yes, I am. What are you talking about?” Reid frowned and shook his head._

“Spencer, I’m going to need you to blink for me, okay? Can you do that?” Gregson asked calmly.

_“Why are you asking me to blink? Listen to my voice? I’m speaking! Why can’t you hear me?” Panic was arising through Reid._

Everyone’s eyes shot to the BPM monitor and saw Reid’s increased heart rate and blood pressure. “Spencer, I need you to calm down. We will help you, everything will be okay. Now, I want you to blink once for yes, and two for no. I know you can nod, but I want you to keep your head perfectly still. Do you understand?”

Reid blinked once in response.

“Excellent,” Gregson smiled, “do you know why you are here, can you remember?”

Reid thought for a moment, before blinking, once.

“Do you know who these people in the room are?” He asked.

Reid looked towards the end of the room and saw his friends, as he blinked.

“Good, that’s good. As soon as we can, we’re going to take you up for an MRI, okay? Do you have any questions about the MRI or to do with anything else?” The doctor asked, his voice soft and calming as Reid felt his heart rate normalize.

The young agent thought for a moment, before blinking. _“Where’s Lexie, is she okay?”_

“Is it about the scan?” He asked thoughtfully. Reid blinked twice. “Is it about the incident?” Gregson asked once more, as Reid then blinked once.

_“Lexie!”_

“Do you want to know about Jack?” Gregson asked. But still Reid blinked twice, and this went on for a few minutes – even his friends started to ask questions to help.

Reid got bored of getting asked the same damn questions, and so he closed his eyes and begged for his voice to work. Unlike before, Reid tensed his jaw and tried his hardest to stretch his tongue. He tried and tried for it to work, and eventually, a small groan escaped his throat. Everyone fell silent as they stared at the man in the bed. They watched as his mouth slowly opened, only a small part of the way. He groaned once again as he tried to form the word, he pursed his lips and blew out a small breath. His quite groans turned into small, unrecognisable sounds.

“Breathe, Reid. You can do this, I know you can,” Hotch spoke with a soft voice, as he pushed Reid’s hair away from his eyes.

Reid looked up to Hotch and tears filled his eyes. He didn’t know why he was crying – he knew it wasn’t over Jack, or his speech impediment. But he was crying; he was crying because he felt guilty. “L…” Reid formed, as his mouth opened partially and his tongue sat on the roof of his mouth.

“Love?” JJ asked.

“L – L…” Reid strained, closing his eyes in pain.

“Lock?” Emily asked.

“Lex…” Reid stammered repeatedly as he _spoke_.

Morgan smiled, “Lexie. He wants to know about Lexie.”

Reid’s eyes snapped open and he looked at Morgan with a half-formed smile on his lips, before slowly nodding.

Everyone smiled tearfully at Morgan, before looking back to Reid. “Lexie’s fine, she’s back with her parents. She’s going to be fine,” JJ smiled.

The younger agent relaxed in his bed as he smiled, as he thought of Lexie – and suddenly everything that had happened to him didn’t seem so bad, he saved Lexie. He saved Lexie from what happened to him.

“Well done, kid,” Morgan smiled, walking up to the side of Reid. Reid smiled gratefully towards the man, as his doctor then came back into his view.

“So, Doctor Reid, it wouldn’t take a genius to know your speech impediment is due to the stress. But we will need to keep you here tonight for observation, just to make sure everything is okay.” Reid nodded in response as the doctor spoke again, “I want you to carefully and slowly practice on your speech, because I will need to clarify your mental state for your job – again.”

“We’ll help him, he’ll be back on his feet in no time,” Rossi spoke.

The rest of his team nodded and the doctor watched as his friends stood their ground beside Reid, and he smiled. “You have good friends,” Gregson said to Reid, as he supportively patted Reid’s hand before walking out of the room – leaving the team alone.

As soon as the door was shut, Reid quickly shot his head to look at Morgan, and gestured with his hands repeatedly. Everyone stared at him alarmingly, “do you want me to call the doc back in?” Morgan asked.

Reid shook his head quickly, before raising his thumb and little finger to his ear and shook his hand violently as he stared at the man. “Phone?” Morgan asked, gaining a quick nod from Reid.

The team looked around the room for Reid’s phone, but it wasn’t there. “It’s not here, Reid?” Rossi said.

Emily quickly reached into her pocket, and took out her phone, “here, use mine?”

The younger man smiled at the woman and nodded gratefully before taking the phone out of her hand. Everyone looked at each other, confused, before looking back to the man in the bed.

Reid typed furiously on the phone,

_Hi, it’s Reid. I’m fine and so you don’t need to worry and come all the way out here – I’ll see you back in Quantico soon. So, there really isn’t any need for you to come; please, don’t come. I don’t want you to worry! The team are taking care of me, I promise you can help when I’m home._

As he clicked send, he let out a relieved sigh and rested his head back in the pillow, closing his eyes as he gave Emily her phone back. She slowly looked at Reid, before taking back the phone and looking at the message. As she read it, a grin formed on her face.

“Seriously?” She spoke with a laugh.

With closed eyes, he smiled.

“What?” Morgan asked.

Emily ignored his question, “Reid, you’re too late.”

Reid’s eyes shot open and he stared at Emily, shaking his head slowly. “I’m sorry,” Emily laughed.

“What’s going on?” Rossi asked, as everyone stared at the two.

“Reid asked a very worried person not to come and help – but he’s too late,” Emily smiled as she looked up to the rest of the group, as Reid once again closed his eyes and rubbed his temples with his 2 fingers on each hand.

“Who?” JJ asked, squinting her eyes.

But then, as expected, the door swung open and in came a red-faced Garcia, with 3 bags on her flailing arms. “Oh! My baby!” She squealed, running in to the room.

The rest of the team failed at their attempts of hiding the realisation that hit their faces, as they watched Garcia push Emily and Rossi out of her way, as she ran towards Reid. She quickly leant down and pressed kisses all over the man’s face. Hotch and Morgan laughed silently into their fists, which were clenched against their lips. Whilst JJ, Emily and Rossi laughed freely at the sudden change of pace – and the squirming of Reid.

“How are you? Your doctor said you couldn’t talk? I got your text, but I’m here! I’m never leaving you again! You understand, wonder boy?” Garcia spoke quickly, as she stood up straight, revealing Reid’s lipstick covered face.

Reid stared at the woman in shock, as the room fell silent. Everyone stifled their laughter as they stared at the man’s face.

“It’s nice to see you too, Garcia,” Reid spoke with shock still written in his eyes.

Mouth’s fell open and shock replaced laughter, tears spilled down Garcia’s cheeks, she turned around to face the rest of the group, “he’s talking! And he didn’t stutter,” Garcia turned back around to face Reid who was frowning.

“I spoke?” Reid asked, before his eyes widened, “I spoke. I’m talking! It’s not in my head,” he smiled widely.

“You’re talking,” Hotch laughed with tears spilling. Reid looked at the man and smiled, before leaning forward and pulling the man down to a hug. The men both closed their eyes and hugged each other tightly, “I love you,” Hotch whispered.

The rest of the team smiled at the couple, and nodded as they silently agreed to give them space. As they all walked out, Morgan kept his eyes on Reid’s sudden calm and happy demeanour as he hugged Hotch. As he took one last look, he concluded his thoughts and closed the door – giving the couple their privacy.

As they sat back down in the waiting room, all eyes fell onto Morgan. “What?” He asked.

The remaining members of the team, all sat closely together on the opposite side to Morgan, and stared knowingly at the confused man. “We know it’s a rule that we never pry into each other’s social lives, but when it’s to do with 3 members of our team – we’d love to know what it’s about and how we could help,” Garcia spoke calmly.

Morgan scoffed, and rested his elbows on the armrests of his seat, “seriously?”

“Morgan, let us help,” JJ spoke softly.

The man sighed and rubbed his face with his left hand, before sighing once more, but this time in defeat. “Fine,” he spoke, looking back up to his friends, as he began his side of the story.

 

Once he had finished, everyone, not including Emily as she had heard it all before, stared at the man with ajar mouths and wide eyes. As they, slowly, processed the information, JJ spoke quietly, “so, you’re in love with Reid? And he _was_ in love with you, but you didn’t know and so then he and Hotch fell in love?”

Morgan nodded, “basically.”

“But, who did he choose when Jack asked him to?” JJ asked quietly, as everyone looked at her and silently thought of who Reid might have chosen.

Suddenly, the quiet and empty hospital, became loud, very loud. They all jumped up as they saw Gregson sprint past the waiting room, with several other doctors and nurses following him. Morgan watched as they ran past and straight towards Reid’s room. Shouts then emerged, shouts from Hotch. Everything in their vision became red. Why was Hotch shouting? Why were the doctors running? Why were they running to Reid?

The team looked at each other, before sprinting off towards Reid’s room. As they reached the room, they saw 2 nurses holding Hotch as he cried violently outside of the room, trying his hardest to get back into the room. Through the window, they could see Gregson and 2 other doctors lowering Reid’s bed, as Gregson pushed on his chest as he shouted for a crash cart. Everything the team saw was in slow motion – everything happened so slowly, as they could hear their pulses scream throughout their ears.

Once they reached the room, they aimed straight for the window as they stared at Reid. JJ slowly looked to Hotch and watched as he slid down the back of the wall, crying. Her attention was then brought back to Reid as she realised the only beats on the BPM monitor were from Gregson as he pushed on Reid’s chest. Her hand found its way in front of her mouth as she cried into it.

She watched as the doctor, opposite Gregson, dropped his head, and told Gregson to call it. “No!” Morgan shouted, “try one more time! Please, don’t call it yet.” Gregson looked at Morgan for a couple of seconds, and nodded at the man, before turning back to the doctor and shaking his head, asking _again_ for a crash cart.

Garcia stared and her whole body shook, she felt sick to the core. Tears were spilling down her cheeks constantly, and her breath was crawling out of her lungs. She prayed; God, did she pray. Prayers were spitting out of her mind, as they flew away into the abyss. Garcia stared at her friend, and saw his pale body laying limp, his eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. But he wasn’t peaceful, she thought, he was dead.

Rossi stared at the boy, the boy he had seen grow. Reid had been through a lot, and Rossi was glad he was able to share them with him. Rossi knew he could never replace Gideon, but Rossi loved Reid as if he was family – they were family. He was crying openly as he saw the boy on the bed, he prayed and prayed for God to bring him back; to bring their Reid back.

Emily was staring with dead eyes and a still body, she had been through a lot, she had seen a lot but she had never felt anything as deeply as this. Her whole body had become numb. Everything she saw and heard was too slow – it needed to speed up! Reid getting better needed to speed up!

Morgan’s hands were resting on his head as he stared into the room, tears were slowly falling down his cheeks as his chest burned. He felt as if someone had ran into his chest with an explosive hammer. His legs shook and his lips trembled, “please, please, please” he cried quietly.

Gregson then looked towards the window and saw all of Reid’s friends, including Hotch. Guilt was spat at him, as he shook his head, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Hotch whispered.

Gregson, slowly removed himself away from Reid and so did everyone else. He looked down to his watch, and called it. “Time of death: 22:56.”

“No,” Hotch cried, as his legs stumbled, causing him to fall to the floor on his knees again.

Hearts were shattered, legs were shaking, tears were falling – but the silence returned. The hospital became empty and quiet.

No noise, nothing. Nothing was happening. Everyone stood still, incapable of moving, incapable of removing their eyes from the lonely boy. Eyes were closing, souls were disappearing.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm afraid to say we're coming to an end. One more chapter and I'm finished :(  
> I have had so much fun writing this, and the lovely comments left have made it so much easier for me to carry on. When I first started writing this, a lot of things were going wrong for me but coming back to this and seeing how many people were reading what I had wrote and seeing how people enjoyed it, it made my life a little easier.  
> So, I just want to say thank you. 
> 
> Also, I may be starting a new piece of writing soon, and I hope to be keeping it updated a lot more quicker than this one! 
> 
> I know this isn't a long chapter, but I know my final one will be.
> 
> And hey, you guys should totally follow my tumblr ;) @thisruinedme32

“He’s alive?” Garcia asked, her voice hoarse and eyes wide.

Doctor Gregson looked around at the wide-eyed faces staring up at him. All agents had tears spilling down their cheeks, fearful yet hopeful looks slapped across their faces, “he’s alive,” the Doctor nodded with a slight smile.

Sighs were emitted with tearful gasps. “Can we see him?” JJ asked with a strained voice, tears still falling at a slower pace.

“Now,” the Doctor sighed and looked to his watch, before looking back up to the agents, “it’s against regulations. But sure, only this once.”

The agents silently nodded but they were in too much shock. Reid was back. The man they all loved, the man they watched die, was alive. Reid was alive. Gregson noticed how all agents were still standing still and stationary, and offered to give them a few moments for the shock to settle before going to see Reid. “Thank you,” Rossi said with a grateful smile and a nod.

As Doctor Gregson smiled and walked away, the agents looked to each other. “Guys, what do we do?” Emily asked quietly.

Hotch could feel his eyes and throat sting violently, his whole body was shaking. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest, but for the first time in a long time, he didn’t care. Hotch didn’t care that all his friends could see his emotions, he was feeling too much to hide it. He looked to Emily and with a shaky voice he spoke, “we need to be there for Reid. He’s going to be confused, in a lot of pain and he’s going to be feeling a lot more worse than before.”

“You think he’s going to want to see us?” JJ asked Hotch. JJ was terrified, she loved Reid, so much. But seeing him on that bed as he was declared dead, scared the hell out of JJ. Her heart fell into her stomach and it was slowly lifting back into place.

Hotch thought for a moment, as he looked down to the floor. _Would he want to see them?_ He thought. Reid liked isolation. He pushed everyone away when there was a problem, he hated the attention and he hated people asking if he was okay. But then, Hotch thought of Reid on that bed. His dead body. He was declared dead, they called his time of death. It broke Hotch’s heart. He could feel his heart shatter into a thousand pieces and he was pretty sure it could never be fixed. The image of his pale, dead body would forever be engraved in his brain. Hotch loved Reid more than anything but he didn’t know what to do anymore – was he even good enough for Reid? Was he the right person to take care of him, to be there for him, to protect him? “He might not want to, he’s going to want to push us away and tell everyone he’s okay. But we’re his friends and we’re not leaving him, not anymore.” Hotch spoke calmly to his team, but his whole body shook.

As everyone nodded and took deep breaths, Rossi asked, “is everyone ready?”

“You guys go ahead, I need a few more minutes,” Morgan spoke quietly. Everyone looked towards him with worried eyes but before anyone could say anything else, he spoke again, “I’m fine. I just need a minute, seriously you guys go. He needs you all at the minute, I’ll be in soon.”

The team all stared with solemn looks before patting Morgan’s shoulder supportively and walking towards the exit of the waiting room. Hotch was the last to exit and the last to leave Morgan alone, as when he reached the doors, he turned around to face Morgan, “he’s going to need you too, Morgan. Probably more than any of us.”

Morgan eyed his boss with narrow yet shocked eyes, before Hotch walked out and joined the rest of the team. As Morgan was left alone, he stumbled back and fell into a seat as the back of his legs hit a chair. His eyes fell to the floor before they were covered by his hands, Morgan was breathing erratically and his eyes were starting to flood with tears. Whimpers escaped his throat as he kept his face covered by his hands, his body shook and his bones ached. He was heart-broken. Morgan was truly for the first time in his life, completely heart-broken. He watched the man he loved die right in front of him. Morgan had seen a lot of people die, he had seen terrible things, but nothing scarred him as much as seeing Reid die. Morgan had always believed that if he were to see someone he loved pass, he would have been seething with anger and hitting everything in his way – but instead, he had cried. He had cried uncontrollably as his heart shattered in his chest. And now, now he was crying again. He wanted to see Reid, of course he did, but he didn’t know what to say or what to do. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to control himself, Morgan didn’t want to cry in front of Reid but he knew that he was going to if he saw him at that moment of time. Morgan had been in love with Reid ever since he had met the strange, young man; Morgan was in love with him before he even knew. It had killed him seeing Reid and Hotch together, but he knew that Reid was happy and loved, and that was enough for Morgan. But now? Now he wanted nothing more than to hug the young man and feel his warmth as his scent filled Morgan’s senses.

“Agent?” The soft voice quickly pulled Morgan out of his mind, as he removed his hands from his face. He looked to where the voice came from and saw Doctor Gregson standing in the door way, “are you okay?” He asked.

Morgan cleared his throat before standing up, “yeah, I’m good. Thank you.”

The doctor looked at the man, before he released a sigh and walked up to Morgan, “sit, let’s talk.” Gregson sat in the seat next to where Morgan originally sat, he looked up to the man and smiled. Morgan narrowed his eyes at the older man before sighing and also sitting down. “How’s your friend?” He asked.

Morgan looked at the man before looking down to his own hands in his lap, “I, uh, don’t know.”

“You’ve not been to see him?” Doctor Gregson asked, leaning back in his seat and bringing his left leg across his right knee.

“Not yet,” Morgan replied quietly, keeping his eyes on his hands.

“Why’s that?” He asked.

Morgan looked at the doctor before sighing once more, “it’s a long story.”

Gregson looked down to his watch and sat up in his seat, before locking his hands together and smiling, “I have time.”

The younger man chuckled and sat back in his seat, looking at the doors of the waiting room, “you sure you want to get into this?”

“I can handle it,” he smiled.

Morgan nodded at the man before looking back to the door, “well, I’ve been in love with Reid since I first met him. He’s the only one who can make me smile, cry, laugh, happy. He’s the only one I can see a happy future with. But I messed it up. I was too scared of admitting anything to anyone, especially to myself, and even when I realised Reid had feelings for me too. One night, we came back from a case and I caught Reid and Garcia talking in her room, and he was upset. I wanted to see what was wrong but no one told me and when he left I saw that he had been watching my interrogation with the unsub, and when Garcia tried to distract me I realised something – I realised the words that had left my mouth in that tape, exactly where it had been paused. I said that I’ve basically never been in love with a man, and that’s what had been up with Reid. I hurt him because I was too afraid to admit to him and to myself. And that’s when I realised Reid was in love with me too. But, I had broken his heart. I could see it all over his face and the image of how broken he looked is always going to be stuck with me because I caused it, I caused all of this. I pushed Reid to Hotch because I was afraid to love him. If I had told Reid I loved him that night he watched the tape, he wouldn’t have been upset the night we were on that new case, we would have been together and he would never have met Jack that night. All of this is my fault. And if I go in there now, I will see what that bastard did to him, but I’ll also see Reid take comfort in Hotch – and I don’t think I can do that anymore. I’m so sick of seeing him happy with someone else; I mean, I’m glad he’s with someone who makes him happy, but I wish it was with me.”

As Morgan tearfully spoke, Gregson had not reacted at all. He had kept completely still. And as Morgan turned back to the face the silent man, the revelation shocked Morgan. When he had told someone something in the past, something about himself, they had always reacted badly – and not getting a reaction at all made him feel eerily. “Well,” Doctor Gregson finally spoke, “that was not what I was expecting, but I am not entirely surprised. Just by the way you look at him, anyone could see you’re in love with him. And Agent Morgan, I can promise you that none of this is your fault. You cannot take responsibility for what that cruel, sick creature did. Yes, you were afraid, terrified even, of admitting your feelings but that does not make you responsible. It’s hard enough to tell someone you love them, but admitting it to someone of the same gender when you’re unaware of how they feel, that makes it 100 times harder. He’s with Agent Hotchner, you say?” He paused, earning a nod from a shocked Morgan, “right, he’s with Agent Hotchner. However, he may be with him physically, but are you sure he’s with him emotionally? The first day I saw you all together, I knew in an instant there was something between you and Doctor Reid. The way he acted around you, the way he looked at you. I respect Agent Hotchner with everything I have, and I’ve only met the man a handful of times, but I’m afraid to say, you’re the one who Doctor Reid is in love with. And you’re the one he needs right now, he might not know it properly yet, but he will.”

* * *

 

 Reid’s eyes were locked onto the ceiling, memories of what had happened were filling his mind. Tears were flooding and rolling down his cheeks, he was so sick of what was happening to him. He was so sick of letting what Jack did define him. Reid was sick of letting his emotions be controlled by what had happened to him. He raised his hand to wipe his tears, before gasping in pain. “Right,” he muttered to himself as he remembered how bad his injuries were. The injuries that led to his _temporary_ death. With a sigh, he looked back up to the bland ceiling, he was praying someone came in. Anyone. He needed an escape from his boredom. Suddenly, fortunate for the young man, there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” his hoarse and strained voice spoke.

As he cleared his throat quickly, he sat up carefully and saw the door open. With as much of a smile he could muster, he welcomed his friends. They all quickly walked up to him and took their turns to hug him and say hello. But as Reid gave a hug to Emily, he noticed that she was the last, there was no sign of Morgan. “Where’s Morgan, is he okay?” He asked, as he looked around his team and friends.

The group of standing agents all looked at each other before Hotch stood closer than before and held Reid’s hand, “Morgan’s okay. He’ll be through in a minute.”

Reid nodded as he looked at Hotch, before noticing all his friends had tear stained faces, “you were all there, weren’t you?” His voice was low and sad, as he looked down to his free hand.

“Yes,” Rossi answered, “but we’re just glad you’re okay now.”

“You are okay, right?” Garcia asked quickly before anyone else could have spoken, her eyes were wide and tearful as she stared at the boy in the bed before her.

Reid chuckled weakly at the woman, “yes, Garcia, I’m okay.”

The group all smiled and conversation started to flow between them all, they all noticed something different about Reid. As they spoke, everyone concentrated on the boy in the bed and tried to focus on what it was – though it seemed impossible to figure out. He was acting different, he was different. He was acting normal. Normal as in usual Reid, before all of this had happened, before Jack, before Hotch. Reid was spitting out facts, talking about his injuries as they were.

“Reid,” Hotch spoke quickly, interrupting the pleasant conversation, “are you okay?”

All eyes were on Hotch, before all eyes were then locked back onto Reid. Nerves were spitting through each agent as they all awaited Reid’s answer. He thought for a moment before his eyes locked onto Hotch’s, “I am. I’m okay. After everything that has happened, I’m surprised I’m okay. 20% of American victims go onto to live with PTSD after an attack; yes, I was one of those 20%. But now I feel better. I know that what Jack did yesterday was the worst attack on which I had experienced, but I’m fine. I feel like I’m finally able to separate the attack from my emotions – why should I allow a vile creature to live my life through my emotions?”

 

It was time for the other Agents to leave, it was getting late and the visiting hours had finished hours prior. But instead of leaving Reid alone in the hospital and going back to their warm and comfortable hotel, they all took a seat in the waiting room. As the Agents left Reid’s room and walked back into the quiet waiting room, they saw Morgan sitting in a chair at the back with his hands resting under his chin as he thought. “Morgan?” Hotch asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Morgan jumped in shock as he was dragged out of his mind, he looked towards his friends with wide eyes, “how long were you in there?” He asked quietly.

“Half an hour. Are you okay?” Garcia asked with a quiet voice, as they all walked slowly up towards him.

The man cleared his throat and sat up in his seat, “yeah, I’m fine. I suppose it’s too late for me to see him now.”

“Not if you go quietly,” Emily said with a wink.

Morgan looked around his group of friends and saw a subtle smile plastered on all of their faces, including Hotch’s. Though, Hotch held sad eyes, his smile was broken and forced but still it stood – it stood there for all of the world to see. “Morgan, go and see him,” Hotch spoke.

His eyes were locked onto Hotch, “I-I don’t understand,” he stammered.

With shaking knees, Hotch walked up to Morgan and helped him up on his feet, “you and I both know who he needs right now, and that person isn’t me.” His eyes were sad, terribly sad. Hotch knew what he was doing was breaking his heart but he knew his heart wasn’t the one he wanted to save. He wanted Reid to be happy, and he knew that he was never going to be happy at the full potential with him – it was Morgan, it was always going to be Morgan. “After all of this time, after all of the arguments, I think it’s time for us all to accept who he is in love with. I wish it was me; I wish I was the one Spencer wanted to spend his life with because I want to spend every single moment of mine with him, he is the one person I could rely on. I love him, I have always loved him and I’m always going to love him – but I know it’s not reciprocated. He may believe it is, or once was, but we all know. Every single person in this room, including you, know that you are the one Spencer is in love with. It’s not me, it’s you.”

Morgan stared at the man in shock, his mouth pinched shut and eyes flooding with tears. His heart was racing wildly like rampaging rabbits, he didn’t know what to say. All eyes were on him and he had no idea what to do, Morgan had never been in this type of situation before. Tears slipped out of Hotch’s eyes as Morgan watched him, and guilt wacked him in the chest. “I’m sorry.” Morgan spoke with such sincere and sorrow as he looked at the broken-hearted man in front of him, there were no other words Morgan knew at that point other than those of an apology. He felt as if he had ripped Hotch’s heart out of his chest and threw it onto the ground before finally stomping on it right in front of him. He felt as if he was betraying his friend.

Hotch took another step towards Morgan and placed his hand on his shoulder, “don’t be sorry. Never apologise for loving someone, and never apologise for them loving you back. You and Spencer, both of you need to stop dancing around this thing – it’s worth so much more than that. Being in love is something special, it’s the thing we need most with the type of job we do. We need it to feel something other than guilt, to not feel haunted anymore. Being in love with Spencer Reid, it is one of the most amazing things you will ever encounter – it’s something you don’t ever want to let go. But I’m not sure I’m the one he wants anymore, I wish I was, I wish he was in love with me the way I am in love with him,” Hotch’s voice became shaky and tearful, “but I know Spencer deserves this, you both do. So please do not apologise, this is not your doing and it is not your fault, I just want you both to be happy and if that is with each other then I would gladly step out of the way. Now please, go and see him.”

Everyone was staring at the broken-hearted man. No one knew what to say, they all wanted to console their friend, they had never seen Hotch spill how he felt in front of them all before – it was certainly something new. But before Morgan could say anything, Hotch squeezed his shoulder and nodded at him with a smile, giving him the final approval. Morgan nodded back and let out a sigh of relief with teary eyes, he was so grateful. He had broken this man’s heart and yet Hotch still smiled at him. “Thank you,” Morgan said quietly. Hotch dropped his hand from Morgan’s shoulder and moved out of the way, allowing him to leave the room and go to Reid. Morgan took another deep breath before finally taking the nerve-racking steps towards the exit of the waiting room and towards the man he loved. As everyone silently watched Morgan leave the room, their hearts were aching in their chests.

“Aaron, are you okay?” Rossi asked finally.

As eyes were once again placed on the sad, dark haired man, they all noticed the broken look smashed upon his eyes. “No,” he sighed sadly. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it broke his heart more. Rossi walked up to the man and gave his shoulder a tight and supportive squeeze, as the rest of his friends surrounded them. As Rossi removed his hand, JJ with tearful eyes, threw her arms around her friend. Hotch was startled at first, but quickly drowned into the hug. He buried his head into the crook of the woman’s neck, and allowed the tears to fall. His heart was broken – truly broken.

 

_Knock._

Reid sat up in his bed once again, expecting his doctor or a nurse to come in. “Come in,” he coughed. But as Morgan slowly opened the door and came into his room, shock filled his senses. “Morgan?” He asked with wide eyes and a thumping heart.

“Hey, kid.” Morgan calmed at the sight of Reid, the gnawing fear calmed as his eyes landed on the angelic man in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” Reid asked, carefully sitting up in his seat once more. Confusion was starting to overtake the shock.

With a nervous chuckle, Morgan walked more into the room and eventually stopped when he stood a few inches away from the left side of Reid’s bed, “I need to talk to you.”

“What’s wrong, is everything okay?” Reid could feel his hands starting to sweat as they rested outstretched next to his numb body. He could feel an itch in his throat as his nerves stared to panic.

Morgan quickly sensed Reid’s fear and he quickly outstretched his hands towards him and shook his head, “don’t worry it’s nothing bad or nothing to worry about,” he spoke quickly. And then watched as a sigh of relief left the fragile man, as he also watched Reid move his long hair away from his eyes. “There’s something I, um, need to tell you,” Morgan rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he tried his hardest to remain calm and content.

“Morgan, sit down and try to relax. Whatever you need to tell me, you can,” Reid nodded calmly and smiled with his tired eyes as he looked at the worried man in front of him. He could see Morgan was worried, the way beads of sweat started to form on his forehead and how his eyebrows furrowed, the slight tremor in his left hand.

Morgan declined the offer of a seat and remained standing, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He thought about what Hotch had said, and how he had told him to _stop dancing around this thing_. Morgan opened his eyes and his heart danced, Reid was staring at him with those huge chocolate orbs, the eyes that forever entranced and hypnotised him. For a moment, just one small moment, Morgan had forgotten everything that had happened and believed that the whole universe held them, only Morgan and the man with the loving, chocolate orbs for eyes. But then reality was snapped back into him as he heard Reid clear his throat awkwardly, alerting Morgan that his staring didn’t go unnoticed. “I’m sorry, I, just…” he sighed as his heart thumping became too much, he lowered his head to look down to the ground.

“Hey,” Reid muttered quietly, he leant forward and softly took Morgan’s hand in his. Morgan’s head snapped up and their eyes locked, “Morgan, you know you can tell me anything.”

His breath was caught in his throat, the hand that held Reid’s sent sparks all throughout his body. But as his hand was locked with Reid’s, and as their eyes remained on each other, the confidence he needed suddenly returned to him. “I love you,” he spoke softly.

Reid gasped and his eyes widened, shock was sent throughout his whole body, to this day Reid swears his heart stopped beating for a solid two seconds. His mind was racing as thoughts flew around, he was trying to collect himself, collect his thoughts, calm his body. “What?” He whispered quietly as he continued to stare at the man before him.

A smile escaped onto Morgan’s lips, “I love you. I have always loved you. I’m sorry I was too scared to tell you, I’m sorry I left it this long. I never want to be apart from you, Reid. You are the only person who has ever made me feel this way, you make me act like a teenage girl with a high school crush.” His smile then dropped as his eyes found their way to the floor for a brief second before looking back up to Reid’s shocked eyes, “Seeing you with Hotch – I didn’t know what to do. There was nothing I could have done other than sit back and watch you be happy with him. It broke me knowing that you were with him, knowing that he was the one you woke up to every morning, knowing that he was the one who made you happy and who made you coffee in the morning before work. I will never forgive myself for what I put you through, I am so sorry, Reid. I am sorry for everything. You make me so happy and I never want you to leave my life, no matter what part you play in it after this. If you want to stay friends and just be friends, whilst you stay with Hotch, I will gladly stand aside and let you be happy. I just want you to know that I will never let you down ever again, you are the greatest man I have ever known, you are so brave and so strong. After everything you have been through, you still manage to smile and that makes you the inspiration everyone needs in their life – because you are someone everyone deserves to know. I want to spend every day of my life with you, I want to wake up to you every morning, I want to make you coffee, I want to sit and relax with you as you read your books as I watch the game on TV. I want to be able to hold your hand in public and go out on dates with you. I want to be in love with you for the rest of my life, just as I am now. Just as I always will be.”


	9. Chapter 9

“I’ve done it,” Reid spoke quietly, nodding at JJ as they sat on the jet.

JJ looked up from her magazine and cocked her eyebrow at the young man who sat opposite her, “you’ve done what?”

“I’ve made up my mind,” Reid looked down to the deck of cards he had been shuffling.

“Have you?” JJ whispered, she quickly put her magazine down on her lap and leant forward in her seat, “who?”

Reid watched his blonde-haired friend in front of him, he could see the excitement in her eyes, yet they still held the fear and worry since they left the hospital. Reid felt terrible for all the fear he had caused his friends, but he was done with the guilt, he was finished with feeling like he was a bad person and everything was his fault. “Not here,” he replied, gesturing towards the listening ears, “I’ll tell you when we land.”

JJ looked behind Reid and saw the five heads snap back down and looked back to whatever they were doing previously, “right,” she chuckled.

Reid nodded at JJ and looked back down to his cards and began to shuffle them once more as JJ smiled as she read her magazine. She looked up every so often to see Reid distractedly staring out of his window; to see Morgan listening to music and tapping on the table nervously; and Hotch tapping his pen annoyingly against a case file in his lap. JJ rolled her eyes at the actions of the men, but guilt also started to worm itself upon her. The young woman felt terrible for all three men, their hearts were all aching, all unknowing, all confused and vulnerably in love.

Reid knew he had made the right choice, not only did he follow his heart but he also followed his head – and he knew above all, if his head and heart came to same conclusion, it was the damn right answer. However, as they began to land, his heart hammered wildly in his chest, he knew that by making a choice, he was indefinitely breaking the heart of another. The thought of hurting someone he cared about, terrified him, but he knew that it had to be done to make things right. Reid was so sick and tired of pining after people and ignoring others; he had finally made the right choice and he was going to stick by it – for the rest of his life. Reid was quickly thrown out of his thoughts as the familiar _bump_ signalled they had landed, he quickly looked to JJ and smiled nervously before listening to their pilot telling them it was safe to leave the jet. All agents collected their things and quietly made their way off the jet and towards their SUVs, and split into two as they got out of the pouring and cold rain, and into the cars. Reid, Prentiss and Rossi in one and JJ, Hotch, Morgan and Garcia in the other.

“So, Reid, I heard you’ve made up your mind?” Prentiss asked from the back seat.

Rossi quickly looked to Reid before back to the road, Reid chuckled nervously, “yes. It’s quite stupid really, _I’ve made up my mind_. But yes, I have.”

“Is it the right one?” Rossi asked.

“Yeah,” Reid smiled.

Rossi nodded and smiled at his younger friend before placing his attention back onto the road, Prentiss leant forward and rested her hand softly on Reid’s shoulder, “can we know?”

A chuckled escaped from Reid’s lips, “not yet.”

 

Both cars pulled up at the BAU at the same time, and everyone knew how close they were to finding out the truth, and it worried every single person. The rain fell quickly down on them as the agents left the cars, and made a quick jog into the bureau. As they all piled into the elevator, it was not as awkward as they previously believed it would be; the agents were talking happily and quietly amongst each other on the way up, before their conversations fell into one large one. “Spence,” JJ began, “how loud do you think Strauss will shout?”

Sniggers were heard amongst the group, whilst Reid groaned, “very loudly.”

“$10 the vein on her head pops out,” Garcia spoke, pointing to her own forehead.

The agents laughed and smiled as they welcomed the familiar _ping_ as the doors opened, revealing their beloved workplace. However, standing in front of all they loved, stood Erin Strauss. No one moved out of the elevator, until Rossi slowly leaned forward and whispered, “going down, Reid?”

Reid stifled a laugh and walked out of the elevator, the group slowly followed behind him, and they all expected her voice to boom through the bureau. Though, they were very surprised when Strauss did not shout and instead threw her arms around the young agent and _hugged_ him; Reid awkwardly patted the older woman’s back, not knowing what to do.

“Pay up, baby girl,” Morgan whispered.

As Strauss pulled back from the boy, her eyes stern, she pointed her finger near his face, “don’t you _ever_ do that again, do you understand me? You are too young for us to lose. You have too much talent, you cannot stand to lose it. Clear?”

Reid, taken aback by the whole situation, nodded quickly, “yes, ma’am.”

“Good,” Strauss tore her eyes from the young boy in front of her and focused on the rest of the team, “files on my desk by Wednesday.”

The team all nodded and smiled as she walked away, leaving them with confused thoughts as they remained in the corridor. “She has a soft spot for you, Reid,” Prentiss laughed, walking up to Reid.

“Great,” Reid chuckled and walked into their office and towards his desk. Once he reached his desk, he sat in his seat and smiled fondly at the familiarity and comfort. He was happy. For the first time in a long time, after everything that had happened to him, he was happy. Yes, Reid knew there were going to be flashbacks and nightmares, and even worse triggers, but he was happy knowing he was loved and people cared about him and wanted to protect him. Reid was happy knowing he was going to live his life with the person he loved, surrounded by the friends who cared about him. He knew that his friends were going to help him with everything he needed, he knew that no matter what state his mental health fell into, they would be there. Reid’s mind then fell into what he was going to do next, and his heart rate picked up once more. He looked up and saw Morgan sitting at his desk, his pen twirling in between his fingers. Reid could feel eyes on him as he watched Morgan, he turned around and saw Rossi and Hotch talking outside of Hotch’s office, both eyes on him. The younger boy met their gaze and shook his head, before standing up and walking towards Morgan, “Morgan, can we talk?”

The darker man quickly dropped his pen in shock and cleared his throat, “sure.”

They both walked over to make a coffee as their hearts rapidly drummed against their chests, Reid was the first to talk, “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“Oh,” Morgan waved it off, “don’t be.” Reid was, of course, referring to how he reacted when Morgan confessed his love. Reid, being Reid, panicked and didn’t know what to say back and asked Morgan to fetch his doctor.

“That’s not why I wanted to talk to you,” Reid shook his head quickly and felt his palms starting to sweat as he reached for a mug.

Morgan chuckled nervously and reached for his own mug, “I figured.” As both mugs sat in front of both men, they turned to face each other. And by the look in Reid’s eyes, Morgan knew. He released a breath and chuckled, nodding his head. He quickly drew him in for a hug and held him tightly, “I love you, kid.”

Tears formed in Reid’s eyes and his voice was hoarse, “I know.”

“Good,” Morgan gulped.

Reid hugged the man back just as tight and buried his head in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Morgan nodded. They pulled apart and both noticed the tears in each other’s eyes, Morgan cupped Reid’s jaw and smiled, “he’ll make you happy, Spencer.”

“Thank you,” Reid replied quietly and returned the smile.

Morgan nodded and turned to pour the coffee in his mug, before walking back to his desk and leaving Reid alone. Morgan looked around and noticed all his friends, scattered around the room, staring at him with worried and unknowing looks. But by the questioning looks remaining, Morgan noted he didn’t answer anyone’s question.

Reid took a deep breath and poured his own coffee, with a shaking hand, he raised the mug to his lips and took a big gulp. After nearly emptying the mug, Reid poured more coffee and proceeded to walk to his desk before being stopped by Morgan pulling on his hand. “Reid?”

“Yeah?” He gulped.

Morgan stared at him for, what Reid still believes to be a full minute, a moment. Before a smile made its way on Morgan’s lips, “nothing, just wanted to scare you a bit.”

The look of worry fell from Reid’s face and he chuckled, “that’s mean.”

Morgan laughed, “sorry, Pretty Boy.” Reid smiled at the man and was happy they could go back to normal, before shaking his head and walking away. He placed his mug on his desk and looked up to see Hotch walking into his office and closing the door. Reid sighed and took another gulp of coffee. “Reid, you idiot, go talk to him,” Morgan exclaimed loudly.

“Wait,” JJ called from the other side of the room, “it’s not Morgan?”

Reid and Morgan furrowed their eyebrows at the girl, “Morgan’s always going to be my best friend. And I’ll always have a place for him, but…” Reid trailed off, not knowing how to finish his answer.

“But it’s Hotch,” Morgan finished.

The younger boy nodded and watched and as JJ and Prentiss smiled widely from their desks, as Rossi stood leaning against the barrier. “Reid, you need to talk to Aaron. He thinks otherwise,” Rossi spoke, a smile playing upon his lips.

“Right,” Reid said nervously before taking another gulp of coffee. He ignored the chuckles and quickly put down his mug, and walking towards Hotch’s office. With a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

“Come in,” a voice called from inside the room.

Reid pushed the door open, “hi.”

“Reid? Hi. Come in,” Hotch coughed and pointed to the seat in front of the desk. The tall agent nodded and walked to the desk, taking the seat. Hotch looked at him with sad eyes and smiled. “What do you need?”

“To talk to you,” he replied.

“What’s up?” Hotch asked, he knew what he was there to talk about, he wasn’t stupid.

Reid looked down to his hands in his lap as he thought, unknowing how to start or even what to say. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest as he slowly started to lose his grip on the conversation, “I love you,” he spat.

Hotch’s eyes widened and he sat back in his seat, “what?”

“I love you. Yeah, I was confused with Morgan. And I didn’t know what I wanted. But at the same time, I kind of did, because it was you, Aaron, it’s always been you. You’re the one who was there through everything; through every nightmare, through every panic attack, you were always there. You loved me even when I was unsure, and I don’t know anyone who’s lucky enough to have that in their life. I was lucky enough to be loved by you, and I don’t ever want that to stop. Even when we’re old and retired, I still want to be with you. Because there’s no one else I picture a future with, Aaron. A few weeks ago, I didn’t want a future, I didn’t think I was going to live long enough to have one, but you’re the reason I’m pulling through, you’re the reason I didn’t give up in the hospital, it was you I wanted to wake up to. And I’ve realised that now. So, do you want to?” Reid’s eyes were so full of hope and love as he looked up at the man opposite him.

Hotch was in shock, he wanted to cry, to shout, to kiss Reid. His mind was barely able to comprehend what Reid was saying and was unable to connect his question to anything he had said, “will I what?”

Reid furrowed his eyebrows and scanned Hotch’s face, telling him that Reid believed he had already asked the question. “Marry me. Will you marry me?”

Hotch’s eyes and mouth flew open and watched with a roaring heart as Reid pulled a small box out of his pocket, he carefully placed the velvet box on the table and pushed it toward Hotch. Tears rolled out of his eyes as he stared at Reid, “yes. Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”

Reid smiled brightly and quickly stood up, as a shaking Hotch did the same. Once they stood toe-to-toe, their lips smashed together, tears merging. They gripped onto each other as if their lives depended on it, as if they were going to be separated. However, they quickly jumped apart when there was a rapid series of knocks on the office window. They quickly looked to the noise and saw a smiling Garcia, pointing to her hand. “Did he say yes?” She shouted.

Hotch laughed and picked up the box from the table, he opened it and more tears entered his eyes. He allowed Reid, with shaking hands, to take the gold band out of the box and slip it onto his finger. Hotch looked adoringly at Reid as he did so, before looking back to the window and showing Garcia his finger. Garcia all but screeched and jumped up and down on the spot, “he said yes!” She squealed into the bull pen. Hotch and Reid laughed as they heard several cheers and whistles.

“I love you,” Hotch said softly as he turned back to face Reid.

Reid smile and let out a breath, “and I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, that's it! I hope everyone likes the ending - and my work in general.
> 
> Thank you x


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